h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Greetings to you,!
As per instructions I am introducing myself to you and
declaring membership in the FFFF.
My chair - (provisional until approved by your good
selves) - is "Unnatural diplomacy" word him up an watch him go
on any or all issues of emotionally charged debate.
please drop in at mine any time and chat. I do live in
Australia so I might be a few hours getting back to you.
Thanks, seeya, Ado!
P.S. Can you tell me the story of the stone-cutter, the version changes from telling to telling but I'm always interested to hear it.

Erm, cor, hello. Haven't been on h2g2 for a bit, but welcome to all things weird. OK, not weird as such. Just not quite normal.

Hello to Australia by the way. Last time I was there I ended up skidding a Holden Commodore into a ditch near Highway 40 (on the way back from Hyden or somewhere near there in W.A.).

Tell you what, take a look at http://www.orlando-seabrook.freeserve.co.uk/fest_pics.html and follow the two links to the Aussie pictures and tell me if you see yourself in any of 'em.

It's a long shot, but that's what coincidences are all about...

...see what I mean about being not quite normal...?

Sadly, no. I'm not in any of the pictures you pointed me to. I must say though I'm very impressed with the design of your page!

I'm sorry to hear that you trashed the commodore, and I hope that you're recovered. It is good to hook up with the folks in that region. They will pull your arse out of a lot of trouble, it's very good for the soul I find, when you encounter folk like that. Renews your faith in humanity.

Did you catch any heat from the hospital about being a tourist (they're not supposed to turn any one away !!!!)? They're usually pretty good but I've been hearing disturbing annecdotes lately of folk that weren't so kindly treated. --- Ado!

Cheers for the thumbs-up for the web page. I doubt I'd ever be a dot.com millionaire but I'd probably end u giving ideas to a few in future.

Yeah, the car accident. Came to a 90km/h corner on a road that looked like the one on my photos. Slowed down to 80, went round. The car started to skid so I took the foot off the pedal and it was OK. It started again so I tried to powerslide out of it. Big mistake. The car has an overdrive so you're either going at sedate pace or "turbo-nutter-bastard" pace. I don't remember the car going into the ditch but the doctor said that short-term memory is stored electrically in the brain so it literally got knocked out of me.

I was as pissed off as they come. I was on the way back to Perth to see England get humiliated by the W.A Warriors in the cricket (a month before the Ashes).

The people in the hospital were OK to me, although I was turfed out on Melbourne Cup day so it took two hours to get a taxi from the hospital to the cop shop to report the incident. It might have helped that I had contacts in Fremantle.

By the way... what stone-cutter's story...???

Well, Shawn, It goes roughly like this - and believe me when I say that I'm shortening and paraphrasing, OnUpTime.... Lao Tse grabs some folk sits em down has a chat, one asks about the nature of things in the real world "Food doesn't grow on trees you know, If we just sit around contemplating stuff we'll never get anywhere!". Our boy Tse does that inward smile thing and tells the story of the stone cutter.

A lowly stone cutter is chipping awayy at a rock in the heat and the sweat. He's not happy. Along comes a fine prince in a carriage that stops to watch the stone cutter sweating and puffing and has a big cool drink of water, then buggers off.

The stone cutter, absolutely appalled, decides then and there to become a prince. He works real hard, applies some of the tricks of the way that he's been taught and lo and behold, he becomes a prince.

How powerful am I? Who could be more powerful than me?
He's Happy! then along comes the king and asks him to perform some particularly unpleasant and dangerous tasks. He's not happy. Then and there he decides he's going to become a king. He does.

How pwerful it is to be a king? Who could be more powerful than me?
He's happy. Then comes the emperor and says "Nice estate and lands King me ole china! I'll take it!" Not happy, not happy at all. So then he uses more tricks of the way that he's been steadily collecting and decides to become the emperor. He does! Excellent he's got back his barbecue area and poolside jacuzzi! Very happy.

How powerful am I? Who could possibly be more powerful than me?
Things are going just fine. So fine he decides to have one of thos afternoon emperor pool parties when just then it decides to piss down rain.

So he becomes a cloud, - The wind pushes him away.
So he becomes the wind, - The sun pushes him around constantly.
So he becomes the sun, and all is well but he doesn't get to be all powerfull all the time, night time comes. So he decides to become the hardest most majestic rock, the oldest most powerful stone monolith in all the world.

Who is more powerful than me? What could be more glorius than this state? Who could possibly dare to take me on coz I'm well hard now! (sorry couldn't resist, it was just a defenseless joke lying around doing nothing, I was compelled by sprits and demons of the type that haunt our southern baptist type friends, I'm really very sorry)
Things are good, right up until a lowly old stone cutter comes along, and sweating and puffing cuts the glorious mountain up in to little pieces to spread over the common villiage road.

And that's the story of the stone cutter.

It's got to do with making the best of what you've got rather than getting up to shennanigens. Anyhoo I'll seeya later, I'm sorry to hear that they turfed you on Cup Day. For a few hours you seriously Cannot get anything done. Drop in at mine any time ----Ado!