h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

One of my favourite websites is the one for the Disposal Services Agency. This is the UK Government body which disposes of defence equipment at the end of its life. The charm of the site is that it's designed to look like any other online marketplace - Amazon, eBay, etc - except that in this case the items you can buy are things like HMS Invincible, or maybe a used tank or some RAF uniforms.

http://www.edisposals.com

Many of the items are priced up for immediate sale, although some, like Invincible, will go for tender. It's quite sad in some ways to see this aircraft carrier, with all the memories and military history which surrounds it reduced to a short paragraph:

***
HMS Invincible is for sale by tender. Laid down in 1973 at Vickers Shipbuilding, Barrow-in-Furness, she was completed in 1980. She is currently stable for tow, subject to buyer confirmation.
Displacement - Current 17000 Tonnes
Estimated metal weight - 10000 Tonnes
Estimated metal % - 95% mild steel
Length - OA 210m, W/L 193m
Draught - Fwd 5.2m, Mid 5.8m, Aft 5.8m
Beam - Extreme 35m, Ex-walkways 32m, W/L 27.53m
Height - 46m (estimated at current draught
Engines - Removed
Generators and Pumps - Generally unserviceable or not working
***

Link: http://www.edisposals.com/is-bin/INTERSHOP.enfinity/WFS/Disposals-Public-Site/en_US/-/GBP/ViewProductDetail-Start;pgid=MieqQ4wkQg8000ArvQ_8K1sp0000__Coco_b?ProductUUID=38jAqBIQwVwAAAEsaApaBWLN&CatalogCategoryID=VaLAqBELPagAAAED8GeasfoP&JumpTo=OfferList

A button below reads "Add to Cart"

"Add to Wishlist"

It would make a nice home, situated somewhere on a canal, lovely. Got a ready made helipad.

I thought about buying it but then I already got a home. Has somebody made an offer yet.

I don't know why anyone would want the old model - where's the button to pre-order the new one when it comes out in January?

Hehehe

Heh-heh, indeed. It would make a good flagship for h2g2...

We're going to need a bigger boat...

Love it!

They have a fine art collection too. http://www.edisposals.com/is-bin/INTERSHOP.enfinity/WFS/Disposals-Aom-Site/en_US/-/GBP/ViewStandardCatalog-Browse;pgid=zdOqQ48zC_k000DRlvMiJyiE0000vpe1yw_5?CatalogCategoryID=opXAqBIQB2oAAAEh9VuqAgsn.

TRiG.

After a brief browse through the categories, this is my MOD disposal wishlist:

Do you have a flange with no friends to talk to? Why not buy it this flange companion? http://www.edisposals.com/is-bin/INTERSHOP.enfinity/WFS/Disposals-Public-Site/en_US/-/GBP/ViewProductDetail-Start;pgid=MieqQ4wkQg8000ArvQ_8K1sp0000__Coco_b?ProductUUID=rZ3AqBIQDqMAAAEjdjgK76Aw&CatalogCategoryID=kjrAqBELD48AAAD_pWxpc4dz&JumpTo=OfferList

Do you have delusions of being Prime Minister or the President of the United States? Just set up this lectern on the front lawn: http://www.edisposals.com/is-bin/INTERSHOP.enfinity/WFS/Disposals-Public-Site/en_US/-/GBP/ViewProductDetail-Start;pgid=MieqQ4wkQg8000ArvQ_8K1sp0000__Coco_b?ProductUUID=rZ3AqBIQDqMAAAEjdjgK76Aw&CatalogCategoryID=kjrAqBELD48AAAD_pWxpc4dz&JumpTo=OfferList

Has your teenage son grown bored with those uninspiring computer consoles? Want something to impress his friends? You need this Lynx Mk7 Multi-Role Helicopter Flight Simulator: http://www.edisposals.com/is-bin/INTERSHOP.enfinity/WFS/Disposals-Public-Site/en_US/-/GBP/ViewProductDetail-Start;pgid=MieqQ4wkQg8000ArvQ_8K1sp0000__Coco_b?ProductUUID=D7rAqBELzwMAAAEgOde5u7Ad&CatalogCategoryID=kjrAqBELD48AAAD_pWxpc4dz&JumpTo=OfferList

Need an awkward Xmas present for those relatives in Liverpool who already have everything? Why not buy them this dockside crane? http://www.edisposals.com/is-bin/INTERSHOP.enfinity/WFS/Disposals-Public-Site/en_US/-/GBP/ViewProductDetail-Start;pgid=MieqQ4wkQg8000ArvQ_8K1sp0000__Coco_b?ProductUUID=jvnAqBIQlVEAAAEswlVaBeSg&CatalogCategoryID=kjrAqBELD48AAAD_pWxpc4dz&JumpTo=OfferList

...forgot to say: amazing art page, Trig. I'm getting quite tempted by Victory and Trafalgar...

Link to lectern failed.

TRiG.

A dockside crane? Have one already

But I'm quite interested in the Lynx Mk7 Multi-Role Helicopter Flight Simulator. I asked my flange and he said he'd like one as well rather than a companion.

Also, the lectern link is not right

Do you think the aircraft carrier might maker a nice island nation, suitable for offshore satellite pirate interwebs? Pirate radio is so passé...

Lectern: http://www.edisposals.com/is-bin/INTERSHOP.enfinity/WFS/Disposals-Public-Site/en_US/-/GBP/ViewProductDetail-Start;pgid=MieqQ4wkQg8000ArvQ_8K1sp00002C9UKWa8?ProductUUID=VHPAqBIQ850AAAEsLrJaBZhQ&CatalogCategoryID=kjrAqBELD48AAAD_pWxpc4dz&JumpTo=OfferList

An island nation is an interesting idea, but I think a connection to the seabed would help. But an aircraft carrier would perhaps be larger than Sealand, would it?

TRiG.

Invincible News:

She's been sold to a Turkish scrap dealer.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-12396523

The Chinese had offered £5m to turn it into a school!

Oh dear; I've been done. I offered 10000000000 króna for it to be sailed up to Nottingham, to be a base for my merry men.

You just can't trust anybody nowadays.

>>She's been sold to a Turkish scrap dealer.

My aircraft carrier has broken down, and I just can't get the parts. But I hear there's a guy up the road in Istanbul with one...