h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Like most postcards from them whats on holiday, this one arrives after the person has got home

Some things are just too conventional not to do

Well - Cyprus was great - average temperature was in the 40s, apart from the first couple of days that scored a meagre 38 degrees on the heatometer. I went to Nicosia, Kyrenia via Turkish Passport control, up mountains (Cyrprus has lots of them) and swam in the Mediterranean every day.

I scrumped oranges off the trees, helped harvest fresh almonds, had a dabble in Aphrodites Bath (form a queue gentlemen please, apparently, I am now officially and blessedly irristable and I attracted a large amount of the cats that roam freely around.

The pocketful of carefully purchased Whiskas Munchie Crunchie things may have had something to do with that, tho

I've gone on one of those Jeep Safari trips, and held a Boa Constrictor (OK, it was a little one, but I thought I was pretty brave), fallen over Giant Tortoises, I've been on a couple of day cruises and seen where the Turtles lay their eggs, and discovered a rather good Russian Vodka for under £7.00 a litre. I also investigated Metaxa, a very potent local orange liqueur and decided that Cyprian red wine is rather jolly good, as well

And yes, I got disgustingly tanned


But the highlight was learning the local version of Backgammon one evening, playing it, and finding out afterwards that I'd beaten the local champion, much to his embarrassment, and my complete amazement.

It was brilliant.

I had 11 days of complete and utter relaxation and great fun. Which was just as well, as I had to spend the best part of a week straight after my return staying with, and keeping an eye on The Mother, whilst she had a cataract op.

Its routine enough a thing to have done (albeit scary for the person concerned) but of course, no-one had ever had it as bad as her, nor was anyone else's operation as complicated or dramatic... etc etc. She was in viper mode for most of the time - who the hell did I think *I* was swanning off to Cyprus, I never came to see her, the boys were hopeless and never thought of anyone but themselves, and I'm a rottern daughter. I never do anything for her.

(Slap wrist)

And apparently I didn't like her dog much either.

(Well, at the time, I wasn't particually happy with the animal in question as she had snuck into my room, snaffled my michigan splint that I use to stop me grinding my teeth at nights, and chewed the wretched thing to within an inch of its life - it looked like a dead jelly baby when I discovered it It'll cost over a hundred quid to replace it, which I could well do without!

As I remarked, I couldn't eat a whole one at the best of times, especially particuarlly chewy dogs.

Anyway, the operation was a success, and I left her this morning complaining the sunlight was too bright and why didn't we get *proper* summers like we did when *she was young? (She's 76 btw,not that old, really; at least, I don't consider it to be particually old)

Arrived home to have the door flung open by son number one, (son number two is at work until the early hours) and after a load of hugs from him and the girlfriend, I distributed presents and alcohol and showed off the photoes and all the other stuff you do when you've come back from hollyiers. The house greeted me clean and tidy and organised, the washing machine finally fixed; supper had been cooked for me, and now, sipping some duty free Jack and coke I'm slipping back into the inevitable day to day routine I left 3 weeks ago

On Monday I start saving for my next holiday And organise a serious diet and a manageable exercise regime. There's a lot of me tanned; I'm not complaining about the colour, I'd just prefer an intenser colour on just a tad less body for the next jaunt

HI, Ev,

Nice to have you back. It sounds as if your homecoming, to son and girlfriend, was as good as a holiday in itself?!

You certainly had a lovely time. I envy you seeing where the turtles lay their eggs. Did you see any turtles though?

As for The Mother, well there's not a lot you can do about her, except what you did. It certainly sounds as if the op. was a success, but some people are never satisfied!!

*See* you around,

Websailor

Hiya Webbie!


Naw... didn't get to see the Turtles - 'twasn't the right time for them to lay their eggs - they're a bit shy, and we only saw a tiny corner of their laying grounds - the rest is seriously protected and private and in a cordoned off part of the coast where all human contact (including lights on boats in the adjascent bay) are prohibited

Sometimes there are dolphins on the coast line, but although I searched, I didn't see any of them, either


I saw some very strange human specimins tho The lesser tanned tourist is a sight which ever way you read it

well.good morning,and welcome back!!
I won't ask if you had a good time,especially at the mothers!!
You know the saying,"you can't please all of the people ,all of the time"
It sounds like a great holiday,glad you did the relaxing bit .Catch ya later