h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I am somewhat concerned about the hypothesis of advertising executives requiring all over body spray to be sprayed from the left shoulder to the right hip to attract members of the opposite sex and have flowers thrown at you and be chased down the street.
This is because I am left handed and occassionally have difficulty in accurately aiming things which have to cover that pathway of my body - I have asked my partner to assist me with this since reading the article but since the spraying of all over body spray necessitates the removal of one's clothing, the spray tends not to follow the correct pathway anyway - thank you for your hints regarding talcum powder and loose clothing!!
Anyway, back to my original concern. Being someone of the left handed persuation, my body spray pathway tends to be from the right shoulder to the left hip and now I am somewhat concerned as to the long term effects of using all over body spray vis a vis (a) members of the same sex rather than members of the opposite sex, (b) having cabbages and tomatoes thrown at me rather than flowers, and (c) members of the opposite sex running from me in terror.
To put it in plain language - do you have a hypothesis regarding the reverse pathway of all over body spray as espoused by advertising executives? I am in urgent need of assistance with this!

As you are quite afraid of the effects of left-handed spraying persuasions, let me reassure you somewhat. Of course, with Creation
(or as I myself like to call it, The General Idea) being so purposeful, there simply cannot be any such things like allover body spraying and then no consequence for the left handed minority.

However, I don´t think you need fear any cabbages or other non-flora being hurtled in your General Direction (the last dimensional lattice by the way, only to be discovered after having understood the General Idea), since all-over body spray is supposed to have an effect apreciated by the actor (otherwise, you wouldn´t buy the scent, and that´s not what the advertisers had in mind), whereas I do believe that your fear of being chased by members of the same sex would indicate that this is not one of your favourite passtimes. So, it must then have a positive effect no matter what hand is used and what armpit is designated the starting point.

More likely the effect of your lefthanded spraying is going to cause the molecules of scent to bounce off your skin in such a trajectory so as to be picked up by an overwhelming majority of left-thinking, left-acting left-loving left-turning, left speaking, left hearing individuals who will pick up that leftish persuasion in your pheromones and will unmistakably react on it.

Be advised then: Affection to your përson will always come from the left. How to seek it out? When walking, always look left first before crossing the street. Vote for the democrats, or the Greens, the communists or the Communards, move to the UK or Ireland (any of the Commonwealth nations will do). Simply persue the leftish angle in everything you do, and before you know it, you´ll be LEFT with a beautiful partner, who smiles at you over his/her left shoulder, and it´ll be a cheeky left-lopsided smile, of course.

Enjoy!

Pres of Head Snot Inc, you have saved my day. I have been most concerned about this left handed dilemma of mine and have been loathe to use a.o.b.s. for the past week or more. Fortunately, it is winter here at the moment - the problem may have been more acute during an Australian summer it must be said!
I assume that the angle of trajectory for the molecules bouncing off me would be towards my right and this concerns me somewhat as you suggest I look for all things left in my life.
My other concern is in regard to left thinking, left looking, etc individuals who would be attracted to me. Do you think that they would also be left over individuals, as I do have some standards you know and there is a niggling doubt as to the benefits of being attractive to a left over!
I have looked for all things left in my life and actually moved to Britain for a number of years, but then LEFT to return to Australia. I live on the west coast, which is on the left when you look at a map so I think that should be alright (or perhaps I should say alleft).

El Presidento
How did you get elected to Headsnot Inc, and can I become a general member?
What do the initiation rites entail - nothing too painful I hope. If you are president then Headsnot Inc must be a very liberal and free thinking organisation as it certainly sounds like you are not leftist in you attitudes.

have you ever flossed with a condom? this headsnot thing, do you ahve to be clogged?

I might have known this question would arise sooner or later.
How does one enter into HeadSnot Incorporated?

I won't explain this here, since I suddenly realise that my personal page has nothing yet explaining what HeadSnot is, and why it should be Incorporated. One thing I can tell you, is that you, as an h2g2 researcher,have already dsiplayed much aptitude for accession, since by entering things to this patform, you are venting HeadSnot continuously.. Check out my page for more.

So, if the trajectory of the body spray can affect the type of person who is attracted to you, can you use body spray in a more fine-tuned way and attract specific people to you? I was wondering if there is a particular method to be used to attract, say, Sandra Bullock? Please let me know as i have had no luck so far.

Take any kind of spray
spray at an angle sending the particles directly in her eyes
stand back.

when the screaming subsides
she'll be ready to follow any bloke smart enough to lead the way
you see she'll be blind as a cow in an underwater cave

So, the secret is to spray the stuff into her eyes? Do I detect an underlying assumption that i am, in fact, ugly? Because if that was your assumption, then I've just found a way around that problem which has been dogging me all the days of my pathetic little life.

Sandra, here I come!

Since you can now get Viagra in inhalation form, I await the day when deodorant manufacturers decide to include it in the latest can of 'Lynx'...

speaking of lefties, i have this friend who is one and he writes these rants where he just raves about a random subject. its funny. the last one was on lefty opression.

nowadays all the rants (and a shitload of other stuff too) are compiled in the Great Book of Philosophical Crap. Me and my friends write entries on everything from hate pages to religion to a page composed entirely of candy wrappers, also a duct tape page, and pages on religion, the opposite sex, music, how to make drugs out of banana peels, and other cool stuff. its cool.