h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Is there anybody out there ... OOoh is there anybody in there?... What a cracking group that Pink Floyd were.

No but seriously folks, is there really anybody out there? and if there is do they want to talk to us? Why would they? The Late great D.A. got it right I think - Mostly Harmless, why would anyone wish to talk to us? We can't even understand each other most of the time, how can we possibly expect to understand people from other worlds?

Who would they contact first? (or should that read - who did they contact first?!)Is it possible that the large land masses would attract them, or would density of population be more alluring.

What language would they speak? Of course we would like to think that they would learn English as being the most widely spoken language in the world, but I beleive that more actual people speak Chinese (I may be mistaken it has been known - hey I am only an Honory God you know and therefore only semi-omnipotent). would they bother to learn a language at all? perhaps they will hand out Babel fish to us all.

Say they do decide to learn English, what type of English would they use, UK or US? What type should we speak? after all the American version was in use in England long before our version. Sorry I digress, I suppose that is only relevant if they decide to send us a post card. But still, imagine the quandry they must be in, trying to decide which Language First Contact will be in. they could start an international incident, and that would never do!

If people are out there and they have learned all this about us, it must mean that they are already here!

... No one could have dreamed that we were being scrutinized, as someone with a microscope studies creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water. Few men even considered the possibility of life on other planets and yet, accross the gulf of space, minds imeasurably superior to ours, regarded this earth with Envious eyes and slowly and surely, they drew their plans against us.
Durram Dumm Dumm, da da dum... Thanks HGW, and Geoff Wayne of course... cracking album that War of the Worlds... Ulla!. HG

I'm a strong believer in green men with buggy eyes - if the universe is infinitly large how can there not be - but why would they bother contacting us? what have we got to offer? Also if they where to learn English they would learn the proper English which they speak in England.

Yours gratefully
"Pure"

Well of course I would like to think that they would speak the "proper" English (Like wot we do) but unfortunately, our version was corrupted by the victorians, who thought it very chic to speak French and even worse, to introduce it into our own language - Hence some of our peculiar spelling, colour is one example. HG