h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Because of unexpected deaths, small amounts of radioactive tanning lotion, extreme cases of fish and flying trousers the universe will no longer make sense.

I asked a small green carrot that lives at the top of Mount Everest and recites Shakespeare for tea, and Edward (that's its name) told me that the universe had never made sense anyway.

But then, who believes small green carrots? I can't remember if I do or not, actually.

I don't know how truthful they are, but they're seldom late.

How do you know that? What if one gets held up in a traffic jam, or is in some way inconvenienced and can't make an appointment? What then?

Well I've never seen a small green carrot -ever- running around saying, "I'm late! I'm late! For a very important date," so I must assume it rarely happens, as I've seen most things that do and a few that don't ever.

That's a very good point. I'll have to bear that logic in mind when analysing other, potentially more complicated, situations.

Using logic will get you nowhere. This is a solid fact.

Can you prove that using logic?

That would be illogical.

My point exactly.

Good. I'm glad we agree.

We agree? But that would be illogical...

Wrong. To disagree on a logical matter would be highly illogical.

But I thought we were agreeing on an illogical matter, so to disagree would be logical, surely?

hello, i disagree with everything both of you have said, does that help?

Illogically, yes.
That's logical.

Please apply the carrot logic to arrive at this illogical conclusion.

'Nonnie