h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hiya BB, me again!

I am working on A87897019 <--- I wish you would click this link

1st query:
>>However, over the course of the series it is revealed that she had never had a childhood of her own, being a lonely only child raised by a harsh nanny named Norah.<<

it's "she had never had a childhood of her own" that I have an issue with there, she did have a childhood, but it was lonely. Would you like to rephrase it, or shall I, and then you can approve it or not.

GB

Ah, that's a wish that's easily granted, but you won't get another 'til tomorrow.

You're right, she had been a child, so we should rephrase it to:
'she had never been allowed or able to play or act as a child when young'

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Your suggestion:
However, over the course of the series it is revealed that she had never been allowed or able to play or act as a child when young, being a lonely only child raised by a harsh nanny named Norah.

That's still a bit clunky, how about:

However, over the course of the series it is revealed that her own childhood was unhappy, being a lonely, only child raised by a harsh nanny named Norah.

Yes, that's better.

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>>She refuses to let the children call her by her Christian name as that is too familiar, and insists she calls them the more formal Aunt Marchmont.<<

shouldn't that be:

She refuses to let the children call her by her Christian name as that is too familiar, and insists they call her the more formal Aunt Marchmont.

Yes, you're right – that's exactly what I meant, sorry.
I have read through this entry a few times and can't believe I didn't spot that.

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It never hurts to have a second pair of eyes look over your work

All subbed and ready for final approval

GB

I've read through and it all looks good to me - press the button!

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Congratulations! Your Entry is on the Front Page today

Hurray!

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