A Conversation for Jackson Hole, Wyoming, USA
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Peer Review: A9057161 - Jackson Hole, Wyoming, USA
U168592 Started conversation Feb 2, 2006
Entry: Jackson Hole, Wyoming, USA - A9057161
Author: MJ - U168592
Another Flea Market Rescue, Original Entry here: A3902069 (with PR thread)
Suggestions etc....you know the drill
MJ
A9057161 - Jackson Hole, Wyoming, USA
Leo Posted Feb 2, 2006
Loved Jackson Hole! No time now, but I'm bookmarking.
(sorry)
A9057161 - Jackson Hole, Wyoming, USA
Leo Posted Feb 3, 2006
>>Jackson Lake is in the northern part of the valley, and the town of Jackson, is at the southern end.<<
-comma after "Jackson" should be eliminated. I think the comma after "valley" isn't necessary either.
(ah, is that a beautiful valley! Sorry, but my weekend in Jackson Hole was one of the most enjoyable in my life.)
>>Jackson Hole gets its obscure name from the early fur-trappers who entered it from the north, and having to descend into the valley along relatively steep slopes, the overall sensation was of entering a large hole.<<
-think this would be better as two sentences.
"Jackson Hole got its obscure name from the early fur-trappers who entered it from the north. They had to descend into the valley along relatively steep slopes, and the overall sensation was of entering a large hole."
>>Though used by Native Americans for hunting and ceremonial purposes, the valley was not known to have any year round settlement prior to the 1870s.<<
- "year-round".??
>>His reports of the valley, the Teton Range and of the Yellowstone region to the north were viewed by people of the day with skepticism.<<
-because why? "...because they were so gushy."
(Coming from NYC, the first time I ever experienced something "breathtaking" was at the Grand Canyon of Yellowstone.)
>>The Jackson Hole Mountain Resort and Grand Targhee ski areas, and nearby Grand Teton and Yellowstone National Parks are major tourism attractions all year round. <<
-"The Jackson Hole Mountain Resort, Grand Targhee ski areas, and nearby Grand Teton and Yellowstone National parks, are major tourist attractions all year round."
-There are several corrections there, including the lower-casing of "parks".
>>The National Elk Refuge also runs right up against the nearby town of Jackson, so this appropriately stagnates all expansion of development upon the land, therefore preserving the beauty for everyone to see. <<
-funky sentence. Maybe break it up into two?
>>Sleigh rides are offered to tourists around the valley and although ticket prices are steep, along with parking fees, carpooling is free (3 or more). Plus the attendants of the parking lots and the lifts have been known to 'barter'...1.<<
-Lots of funky sentences.
-firstly, it sounds like the sleigh rides are available all around the valley, whereas I beleive you mean they are available in Teton village and the ride itself takes you around the valley. In that case you'd want to say that "sleigh rides around the valley are offered to tourists".
-You might want to break up the sentence again, or change it to be more specific. I'm just thinking:
"Ticket prices are steep, especially when combined with parking fees (though carpools with 3 or more people park free, and the parking lot attendents have been known to 'barter'...)
>>Up the piste...<<
-capitalize piste
>>If it's winter, bring lots of money or prearrange a job and a warm place to stay, because it gets REALLY cold. The high altitude and steep mountain slopes on all sides of the valley often cause ordinarily calm winter nights to be very cold. In 1993, the morning low temperature got down to -56°F (-13°C). Thermals are a must!<<
-Since they're on the continental divide, (which you might want to mention,) they can get up to 12 feet of snow in the winter, (which you might also want to mention.)
-also, "the morning low temperature can go down to -13C (-65F)"
(because isn't Celcius the British measurement, and therefore shouldn't it be the main one?)
Nice entry
Trying to remember if there was anything to actually do in Jackson Hole, or if it was just Jackson city nearby...
A9057161 - Jackson Hole, Wyoming, USA
Leo Posted Feb 3, 2006
just noticed thaat last link for more on the hole... shouldn't it be capitalized Hole?
A9057161 - Jackson Hole, Wyoming, USA
Sea Change Posted Feb 5, 2006
How about telling the hitchhiker how to get there-is it near any interstates, is there an airport, can you hike in from a well known trail?
A9057161 - Jackson Hole, Wyoming, USA
U168592 Posted Feb 5, 2006
Right, I've updated the Entry some more, adding a how to get there section and refined some of the 'funky' sentences
MJ
A9057161 - Jackson Hole, Wyoming, USA
HonestIago Posted Feb 5, 2006
Just a little point -13 degrees C isn't -56 degrees F, the latter is much colder than the former. -13C (9F)isn't *that* cold, at least not for the States in winter. -56F corresponds to -48C which is
A9057161 - Jackson Hole, Wyoming, USA
HonestIago Posted Feb 5, 2006
Meant to say as well - great rescue, hope this makes the Guide quickly
A9057161 - Jackson Hole, Wyoming, USA
U168592 Posted Feb 5, 2006
ooo, you're right, when I did the conversion I did it as a positive degree rather than negative. Silly me.
MJ
Congratulations - Your Entry has been Picked for the Edited Guide!
h2g2 auto-messages Posted Feb 20, 2006
Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've therefore moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.
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echomikeromeo Posted Feb 20, 2006
Key: Complain about this post
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Peer Review: A9057161 - Jackson Hole, Wyoming, USA
- 1: U168592 (Feb 2, 2006)
- 2: Leo (Feb 2, 2006)
- 3: JulesK (Feb 2, 2006)
- 4: U168592 (Feb 3, 2006)
- 5: Leo (Feb 3, 2006)
- 6: Leo (Feb 3, 2006)
- 7: U168592 (Feb 3, 2006)
- 8: Sea Change (Feb 5, 2006)
- 9: U168592 (Feb 5, 2006)
- 10: U168592 (Feb 5, 2006)
- 11: HonestIago (Feb 5, 2006)
- 12: HonestIago (Feb 5, 2006)
- 13: U168592 (Feb 5, 2006)
- 14: U168592 (Feb 15, 2006)
- 15: Sea Change (Feb 15, 2006)
- 16: Natalie (Feb 20, 2006)
- 17: h2g2 auto-messages (Feb 20, 2006)
- 18: echomikeromeo (Feb 20, 2006)
- 19: JulesK (Feb 20, 2006)
- 20: U168592 (Feb 21, 2006)
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