A Conversation for Jackson Hole, Wyoming, USA

Peer Review: A9057161 - Jackson Hole, Wyoming, USA

Post 1

U168592

Entry: Jackson Hole, Wyoming, USA - A9057161
Author: MJ - U168592

Another Flea Market Rescue, Original Entry here: A3902069 (with PR thread)

Suggestions etc....you know the drill smiley - smiley

MJ smiley - ok


A9057161 - Jackson Hole, Wyoming, USA

Post 2

Leo

Loved Jackson Hole! No time now, but I'm bookmarking.

(sorry)


A9057161 - Jackson Hole, Wyoming, USA

Post 3

JulesK

I'm just subscribing, nothing to add to what I said in the EGWW as yet smiley - smiley


A9057161 - Jackson Hole, Wyoming, USA

Post 4

U168592

Subscribe away Jules smiley - winkeye The more the merrier smiley - laugh


A9057161 - Jackson Hole, Wyoming, USA

Post 5

Leo

>>Jackson Lake is in the northern part of the valley, and the town of Jackson, is at the southern end.<<
-comma after "Jackson" should be eliminated. I think the comma after "valley" isn't necessary either.
(ah, is that a beautiful valley! Sorry, but my weekend in Jackson Hole was one of the most enjoyable in my life.)

>>Jackson Hole gets its obscure name from the early fur-trappers who entered it from the north, and having to descend into the valley along relatively steep slopes, the overall sensation was of entering a large hole.<<
-think this would be better as two sentences.
"Jackson Hole got its obscure name from the early fur-trappers who entered it from the north. They had to descend into the valley along relatively steep slopes, and the overall sensation was of entering a large hole."

>>Though used by Native Americans for hunting and ceremonial purposes, the valley was not known to have any year round settlement prior to the 1870s.<<
- "year-round".??

>>His reports of the valley, the Teton Range and of the Yellowstone region to the north were viewed by people of the day with skepticism.<<
-because why? "...because they were so gushy." smiley - winkeye
(Coming from NYC, the first time I ever experienced something "breathtaking" was at the Grand Canyon of Yellowstone.)

>>The Jackson Hole Mountain Resort and Grand Targhee ski areas, and nearby Grand Teton and Yellowstone National Parks are major tourism attractions all year round. <<
-"The Jackson Hole Mountain Resort, Grand Targhee ski areas, and nearby Grand Teton and Yellowstone National parks, are major tourist attractions all year round."
-There are several corrections there, including the lower-casing of "parks".

>>The National Elk Refuge also runs right up against the nearby town of Jackson, so this appropriately stagnates all expansion of development upon the land, therefore preserving the beauty for everyone to see. <<
-funky sentence. Maybe break it up into two?

>>Sleigh rides are offered to tourists around the valley and although ticket prices are steep, along with parking fees, carpooling is free (3 or more). Plus the attendants of the parking lots and the lifts have been known to 'barter'...1.<<
-Lots of funky sentences.
-firstly, it sounds like the sleigh rides are available all around the valley, whereas I beleive you mean they are available in Teton village and the ride itself takes you around the valley. In that case you'd want to say that "sleigh rides around the valley are offered to tourists".
-You might want to break up the sentence again, or change it to be more specific. I'm just thinking:
"Ticket prices are steep, especially when combined with parking fees (though carpools with 3 or more people park free, and the parking lot attendents have been known to 'barter'...)

>>Up the piste...<<
-capitalize piste

>>If it's winter, bring lots of money or prearrange a job and a warm place to stay, because it gets REALLY cold. The high altitude and steep mountain slopes on all sides of the valley often cause ordinarily calm winter nights to be very cold. In 1993, the morning low temperature got down to -56°F (-13°C). Thermals are a must!<<
-Since they're on the continental divide, (which you might want to mention,) they can get up to 12 feet of snow in the winter, (which you might also want to mention.)
-also, "the morning low temperature can go down to -13C (-65F)"
(because isn't Celcius the British measurement, and therefore shouldn't it be the main one?)

Nice entry smiley - ok
Trying to remember if there was anything to actually do in Jackson Hole, or if it was just Jackson city nearby...


A9057161 - Jackson Hole, Wyoming, USA

Post 6

Leo

just noticed thaat last link for more on the hole... shouldn't it be capitalized Hole?


A9057161 - Jackson Hole, Wyoming, USA

Post 7

U168592

Thanks Leo - have rectified all those smiley - biggrin. *chucks a smiley - snowball for good measure*

MJ smiley - ok


A9057161 - Jackson Hole, Wyoming, USA

Post 8

Sea Change

How about telling the hitchhiker how to get there-is it near any interstates, is there an airport, can you hike in from a well known trail?


A9057161 - Jackson Hole, Wyoming, USA

Post 9

U168592

Ah, a very good point! smiley - laugh Will attend to that shortly smiley - smiley

MJ smiley - ok


A9057161 - Jackson Hole, Wyoming, USA

Post 10

U168592

Right, I've updated the Entry some more, adding a how to get there section and refined some of the 'funky' sentences smiley - biggrin

MJ smiley - ok


A9057161 - Jackson Hole, Wyoming, USA

Post 11

HonestIago

Just a little point -13 degrees C isn't -56 degrees F, the latter is much colder than the former. -13C (9F)isn't *that* cold, at least not for the States in winter. -56F corresponds to -48C which is


A9057161 - Jackson Hole, Wyoming, USA

Post 12

HonestIago

Meant to say as well - great rescue, hope this makes the Guide quickly


A9057161 - Jackson Hole, Wyoming, USA

Post 13

U168592

ooo, you're right, when I did the conversion I did it as a positive degree rather than negative. Silly me. smiley - erm

smiley - ta

MJ


A9057161 - Jackson Hole, Wyoming, USA

Post 14

U168592

Have added a little more in the 'Up the Piste' section, hope it reads okay smiley - smiley


A9057161 - Jackson Hole, Wyoming, USA

Post 15

Sea Change

smiley - smiley Reads fine.


A9057161 - Jackson Hole, Wyoming, USA

Post 16

Natalie

That'll be...11 Entries in Peer Review then... smiley - winkeye


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Picked for the Edited Guide!

Post 17

h2g2 auto-messages

Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've therefore moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.

If you'd like to know what happens now, check out the page on 'What Happens after your Entry has been Recommended?' at EditedGuide-Process. We hope this explains everything.

Thanks for contributing to the Edited Guide!


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Picked for the Edited Guide!

Post 18

echomikeromeo

smiley - applause


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Picked for the Edited Guide!

Post 19

JulesK

Well done smiley - biggrin !


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Picked for the Edited Guide!

Post 20

U168592

yay! smiley - ta


Key: Complain about this post