Sir! Your tree is waiting!
While the Managing Directors of Irritating Public Radio, Your Friends In The Air, understand the cultural and emotional significance of the unavoidably impinging Holidays Season, and while they try to
accomodate the most prevalent and persistent of the traditions and observances, to the point of actually quaffing a pint or two when having had forced upon them that they don't actually have to pay for it, unless they really want to...
It has come to the attention of the Chairimp of the Baird of Mangling Defectors that some of the more impertinent and importunious of the employees are
using their Internet connexions to look up more and more upscure Christmas traditions and observances from darker and dimmer corners of the globe and history... which reminds me, the next time one of you ****-**-****s
replaces the soft white 40watt in the Chief Engineer's lit world globe with a red or a black light,
we're gonna set a trap for you and you'll get what's comin' to ya, ya wait and see, you cunning little...
In any case, a set of guidelines has been produced, to guide the employees, most especially the 'creative' and 'inquisitive' ones who will now find the words Yule,
Tide, Christmas, Woden, Ann Rice, Martha Stewart and Ronald Biggs
locked out of access on their main server, in their pursuit of officially approved office behavior and gaiety. These be the guidelines: