h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*The dojo is nearly identical to the one shown in "The Matrix," save that this one has far more class, and better rice-paper walls.*

Can we assume that I've changed into my sage green kung-fu robes? Yes? Good. Because I can't do tai chi in cords. It's agianst the rules, it is. And besides that I like changing costume so /there./

*Jade walks in carrying her ramune, and sipping it slowly. She places it on the floor and begins to stretch in a very Cirque do Soliel frightening contortionist way. This goes on for a good twenty or so minutes. She then walks over to one of the walls, slides a pannel to the left, and a stereo system can be seen. She shuffles through a pile of discs, and finally decides on a Mai Yamane (Yes kids, JJ is in the mood for some Real Folk Blues ). She puts it in the player and starts it up.*

*She then goes to the centre of the room, closes her eyes, and
lifts her hands up to the level of her chin. She puts them back down and begins her form.*

Yes, this is a true form, it is called "Long River Boxing. Fun, eh?

Lion plays with ball right
Lion plays with ball left
Wardoff left
turn
Wardoff right, roll back
Press, roll back
Push, roll back
single whip
turn
Lift hands
White crane cools wings
Play guitar
Brush knee left
Brush knee left
Play guitar
Brush knee right
Play guitar
Brush knee left
Brush knee left
Intercept and punch
Withdrawl and push
Close

*She repeats this series of movements many many times*

*Walks into the Dojo and notices Jedi Jade doing her warm up meditation. Craxus stands there observing her.*

Hello Jedi Jade, shall we begin?

*s at real folk blues, and then regains composure. Mystrunner pops his neck and knuckles, that seeming to be the only warmup he needs.*

Now, just waiting for Craxus...

*Turns around slowly and looks at Mystrunner.*
Hello my friend, come to see me in action. I still don't know what Jedi Jade wants of me?

Ah, yes. She, or we, will be testing your combat skills. Though it may have been a while for you.

You may warm up with me. You may have the first move.

*Draws katanas*

*Unsheaths his duel Khukuri's*
Let's just hope you turned on the safety setting I wouldn't want to hurt you too much.

*Jumps high into the air. As his approach down he slashs his Khukuri at Mystrunner.*

No safety needed.

*Without moving, Mystrunner raises his katana to block the blade. He pirouettes about on one foot, and aims a quick kick at Craxus's exposed stomach.*

*Jade finishes with ehr form and walks over to the stereo, switching Mai Yamane out for A Perfect Circle (Gotta love that Maytnard chap. Gets a girl right in the mood for arsekicking.). She snaps her fingers and is once again clothed in cords, spiky belt, and her Punk Kittens t-shirt.*

*She raises an eyebrow in amusement at Myst and Craxus, her eyes flicking to Craxus's feet. he has not removed his shoes. Jade's eyebrow begins to twitch slightly.*

*Craxus, seeing Mystrunner's leg moving up for a swift kick. With an amazing move you see Craxus' body almost become a blur to the human eye. Mystrunner missing Craxus' body. Craxus jumped back a couple of yards to get some distance from Mystrunner. Craxus notices that Jedi Jade is finished with her warming up and that she's staring at him. Craxus looks a little deeper into her eyes and notices that shes staring at his feet. Craxus smacks his head and remembers that he should of removed his dirty boots.*

Sorry

*She forces a pleasant grin.*

Just get rid of them, yes? And then we shall begin.

*Removes his boots. Sheaths his Khukuri's.*

Right let's begin.

*Leans back against a post to watch, his hood falling back over his head.*

*sarcastically* Don't look so enthused, Myst. He is /your/ prodigy, after all.

*to Craxus* Are you certain you are ready? Very well then.

*She runs forward a few steps and launches herself forward to the wall, where a great many of her swords and various other pointy implements of pain are hanging in mounts on the wall. She grabs her twin elvish rapier blades and turns to Cuaxus, spinning them about experimentally in a half-arc.*

*She grins and jumps at Craxus, pointing the blades downward, and aiming a balletic kick to his stomach.*

*Grins*

Yes, really. He'll do well enough. We trained under the same man.

*Jade becomes impatient and decides that because he's not replied yet, she's just going to assume that her kick connected with Craxus's stomach, and move the hell on.


*The kick connects, and JJ springs back into a defensive position.*

*with interest* Did you? Well then. He should prove a formidable opponent.

Hey hold on a second I had a move all brought up but the stupid school bell rang for the next class. Let me do my move

*Craxus dodges the elvish rapiers. After the dodging he notices that her foot was coming in to his stomach. He grabs ahold of her foot and twists it. Jedi Jade goes falling down to the floor.*

*Unsheathing his duel khukuri's he flings them catching a hold of her rapiers and slams them into the pillar next to her, sticking them 3 inches deep into the pillar.*

Your move...*Craxus says with an evil grin*

BAD FORM! + Whackin' a "lady," an' all that. ...Although with me, it /will/ get you a margin of respect. I can take it. Just msake sure for fun's sake that you take a few hits as well, ya?

*She rolls out of the dive she just took, and lithely leaps to her feet.*

Ont thing you must learn about me, Craxus, I don't take it too lightly when people deprive me of my blades. *she glances back at them and then back at Craxus* Particularly those.

*She goes at him again, aiming a sidesweeping crescent kick at his hands. His khukuris spin out of his hands and slide to the far edge of the room.*

You must type really /really/ slow...

OMG! (Oh my god!)

Wow there goes my weapons. Lets do this the old fashion way. With fists and legs. Besides im better with those.

*Rushing over to Jedi Jade he does some front flips and gets right in her face.*