A Conversation for Camelost

27. (27 November)

Post 1

Dmitri Gheorgheni - Post Editor


Despite the pouring rain, the professional concern for her patients, and the seriousness of the situation, Gwen was suddenly consumed by a fit of giggles.

Covering her mouth, she wiped tears from her eyes, taking a deep breath.

Nope, no use! The giggles just would not stop, her sides ached with mirth.

'Care to share? I could do with a good laugh,' whispered Lance.

Gwen took a deep, deep breath.

'Sorry, Sergeant!' she saluted, lost her balance and ended up sitting in the bottom of the boat in two inches of icy cold stagnant water. Again the giggles won.

'Ow!' her sides were really hurting now, 'It's just… I'm on… on a police chase… in a plastic dragon… chasing Merlin and Arthur across Camelot… being bravely protected by Lance Hallot and his long lost son... Who's now a Father…. Oh God, I need meds!'

And with that, she let the giggles take her, collapsing in a sobbing heap on the wet deck.

Lance and Galahad stared at each other, only half-surprised by Gwen's outburst.

'She may be right…. there's some pretty weird stuff going on here, that, we.. wouldn't be much weirder would it.. son?'

A look of hope mixed with pain crossed the Deacon's features.

'But what are the chances, it'd be some kind of, well, miracle. All of us, thrown together, and I wasn't going to say anything but, erm, I've been getting like weird flashbacks…. visions, I suppose.. .?'

As he trailed off, embarrassed at suggesting something miraculous was happening, Lance nodded in agreement.

'Me too, Galahad, me too, this place, Knights, Merlin, I've seen some odd things in my time, but King Arthur returning? Wow! And, look, your mum, your birth mum, Elaine…?'

'I never met her.'. Galahad's tone hardened.

'I know it's terrible, you must be feeling, well… '

'Abandoned, unloved, unwanted? Take your pick, Lance!'

'I never knew she was pregnant, honestly I didn't, always thought her parents just hated me, moved away from Birmingham before we got too serious, I suppose?'


'Yeah, I joined the police service down there, met Elaine in Aston, only when she, erm, disappeared did I move back up North.'

'My mum, birth mother, Elaine, my Elaine, was born and bred in Ireland, that's the only certain fact I know, the adoption was through the Church, County Kerry. I was born in Killarney, then given to my family over here. Nothing to do with Birmingham!'

'So we're not? You know? But the visions? Erm, the flashbacks…?'

'Hallucinations, actually!'

Gwen smiled kindly, her giggles dispelled by the exchange between the men. She no longer felt this was remotely amusing, bizarre, yes, but funny? No chance!

'Think about it, Arthur under delusions that he's out of some book, poor Wayne, so psychotic he'd believe anything, vulnerable people, the eco-warrior?'


'Bernie, yeah, thanks, she's probably spent her whole life fighting for her cause, mixing with those types who love the romance of mysticism. Just a guess, but I bet I'm right! A bit off the wall, alternative lifestyle. Impressionable, but honest, keen to do some good, be kind, be special…? All three have just been told how special they are, manipulated into…. Well… something…well… shady!'

She fizzled out, her train of thought failing.

'OK, but us Gwen? A cop, a priest and a nurse? Not exactly stoners, New Age counter-culture protestors, or psychotics, are we?'

Gwen had a sudden thought, her eyes twinkled.

'Ah… but… ' A brief pause whilst she herded the jumble of thoughts together, trying to knit something remotely sane, 'Ah, but…. all three of us, devoting our lives to helping people in our own ways, working to strict behavioural codes, all of us ready to see the good, no matter how much of the opposite we deal with?'

'A conman's dream! The perfect marks. Tell each of us we're special, hand-picked by some divine circumstance to change the world! Pick a few details that have us doubting ourselves :

Hoping for the best, willing to accept the absurdity if it brings us closer to.. Well, God? Righteousness? Family? True love?'

He stared at both his companions.

'Galahad, I'm truly sorry I'm not the man you're looking for, I'm not your Father, but I hope we can become good friends?

And Gwen, ten years I've waited, will you please come out on a bloody date with me? I think you're a beautiful person and would love to get to know you outside of bloody work!'

They both smiled and he was relieved when they agreed they would get together once this was over, whatever 'this' turned out to be!

'So, every con needs a conman, er con person, sorry, who do we know that could use slight-of-hand, powers of suggestion, hypnosis maybe?'

'Or drugs! A bit of acid or something in the teapot, or something we've all eaten? Then, plant a few suggestions, bring us somewhere weird, stand back, and let our minds fill in the rest!'

'Let's go get Arthur and Wayne back where they're safe, leave Merlin the not-so Magnificent to the boys in blue!'

He winked at Gwen,

'Be a pity when this is over, even in a hallucination, you look stunning in those medieval outfits!'

'You get my lads back safe, Bernie, too, I'll wear one on our first date to celebrate that bloody fake going to prison. Magic, my backside!'

As if to prove her wrong, at that very second, a brilliant column of light connected the heavens to the lake.

Through the glare, a gaudy green dragon, Arthur standing tall, a shimmering sword held aloft, the air thundered, the water trembled.

Excalibur had been recovered!

27. (27 November)

Post 2

Caiman raptor elk - Escaping the Array


I can see why Gwen has the giggles

27. (27 November)

Post 3

Tavaron da Quirm - Arts Editor

Oh, this is sooo cool! smiley - bigeyes

27. (27 November)

Post 4

paulh, the apocalypse is coming, it's just late

Lance not Galahad's father? smiley - huh

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