A Conversation for Camelost

11. (11 November)

Post 1

Dmitri Gheorgheni - Post Editor

11. (Posting for Post Team due to log-in issues.)

Tom Mallory hated days like this, bloody freak show!

As Security Lead at Lake House he dutifully offered up his objections every time the MDT suggested an outside performer, objected more at the suggested guest list. Playing with fire, security risk, danger to patients, staff and visitors alike, etc etc.

Each and every time the Clinical staff overruled him. The health and well-being of the patients and the benefits to their recuperation outweighed any potential risks, they were sure his department (all four of them) would submit a wonderfully detailed risk assessment and, as usual, keep everyone safe and sound. After all it was just a magician and a few guests, what could possibly go wrong?

Tom took a deep breath, unconsciously rubbed at his shoulder, and addressed the visitors in the reception area.

'Good afternoon, Lady and Gentlemen, and Father'

'It's Deacon, actually, still have my training wheels!'

The others laughed good naturedly.

Tom continued, 'Please make sure you are all signed in, very important we know who's in and out of the Unit.'

He tapped the rather long list pinned to the reception desk,

'Please also, after you sign in… very important that… please read the List of Prohibited Articles. These are Articles that are, erm, well, Prohibited… erm, anyway, anything on that list doesn't go through those doors!'

Tom paused, pointing at the list and the doors to the Wards, looking rather like a bad flight attendant.

'There are lockers in reception, please place any Prohibited Articles in said lockers. This is for your safety!'

Tom's eyes glazed, he rubbed at his left shoulder before adding,

'You people have no idea the damage even a plastic spork can do! Well..erm... anyway… Whilst at Lake House, the Security Team have the right to search any persons and/or vehicles on the estate and seize any item deemed Prohibited!'

The middle-aged hippy looking girl tsked at this particular bit of information and, as Tom turned to gesture at the lockers, he was sure he heard her call him a 'raving sexist fascist', he'd keep his eyes on this one!

'You will be escorted by the lovely Gwen, one of our Senior RMNs, to the Common Room, please do not attempt to access any other part of the Unit. This is strictly prohibited and is also, as our good Sergeant Hallot, will tell you, illegal!'

Mallory performed a rather over-the-top bow to the Officer.

'One more thing!'

Tom really, really, tried to ignore more tsking from the hippy,


'This is, obviously, a Mental Health Secure Unit. Should the alarms sound, or an incident occurs, please stay where you are, and a Staff Member will advise you. Your safety is our primary concern, please enjoy your visit. Now, PA List, visitors book and IDs, who's first?'

Emrys, who had been handing out sweets to the other visitors, stepped forward, keen to set up the show.

Tom attempted a welcoming smile, thought better of it, and clicked his pen several times instead.

'I'll need your name, obviously, any vehicle on the estate, and the company or body you represent, please. Mister er Merlin, you start us off, Sir?'

'Emrys. Ford Transit van, Merlin the Magnificent Performances.'

'Emrys, that first or last?'

'Just Emrys'

'Like Madonna eh? Or Cher? Very showbiz! Sign please, and Visitors Pass, thank you.'

'Lance Hallot, Police… '

'Think we all know you after so many visits, eh, Gwen?'

Gwen and Lance shared a glance and a blush.

'Bertilak Nowak, Mzzz,' the eco-warrior emphasised her title, 'No car, don't do planet killers, and I'm here with the Vicar, Community Service… ask Lance here!'

She winked at the cop and mimed being in handcuffs.

'Galahad, Deacon, not vicar, we took the bus, Our Lady of Pity Outreach Programme, good to meet you, fine job you do here!'

Tom visibly swelled with the compliment and bowed again, 'Thank you, Father, enjoy your visit… '

He triple-checked his beloved forms, nodded, satisfied all was in order, and pressed the button that unlocked the reception area.

'Be safe folks, all yours, Gwen!'


11. (11 November)

Post 2

Caiman raptor elk - Escaping the Array


The pieces are on the board and have started moving. Plenty of leads to go from now.

I now have a vision of a deacon with training wheels protruding from under his robes...


11. (11 November)

Post 3

paulh, hiding under my bed

Thomas Mallory? smiley - laugh What's next, Tennyson? E B White?


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