A Conversation for Camelost

8. (8 November)

Post 1

Post Team


Bertilak Nowak, brushed her dreadlocks out of her eyes and concentrated on opening the stubborn cap of the superglue tube.

She'd been at enough demos, protests, and sit-ins, to realize the time for action was now, perfect timing to test the mettle of the developers.

She'd been getting in the way of nature-destroying building sites since she was a teenager, devoted her life to getting people to see the error of their ways, make them rethink, stop killing the planet!

Most of Bertilak's efforts had been rather low key, disrupting local greenbelt plans, building a community for newts, or a funky squirrel habitat, stopping HGVs from using village roads, getting the local butcher (yeuck - murder-meat-fest!) to stock veggie sausages, and generally making a nuisance of herself.

She'd joined Green Rebellion a few years ago and wow, what an absolute eye-opener!

Really well-planned interventions, underground cyber-networking activists, loads of publicity, finally getting the 'Save the Planet - Save Your Idiot Selves' message over, really made people think, question their actions and morals.

At her very first protest, somewhere in Lancashire, big business and local council wanted to destroy acres of land by building starter homes for the overflowing population on green/brown belt land that'd once been a theme park.

But the 'forget the homeless - birds and bugs need a home too!' slogan didn't go down well with the locals or the media, selfish and uncaring they'd branded her fight!

Green Rebellion opened her eyes, forget placards and slogans, she'd found out, the very, very best way of getting a green headline was to simply glue yourself to some bloody great lorry, bridge, or train!

Stopped the whole thing dead in its diesel stinking tracks. Caused so much delay that the house building planet killers went bankrupt, the houses were never built, the homeless moved to somewhere out of the public gaze (again) but the squirrels and bears, or whatever, got to keep the derelict land.

From there, she became addicted to testing these corporate monsters, going into battle for Mother Earth (although that gender stereotype still grated), a tube of glue and a YouTube video her weapons of choice.

Her fellow protesters cheered as she held up her glue-smeared hands and promptly grabbed onto the underside of the truck.

'Green Rebellion!' the middle-aged eco-warrior screamed.

'Green Rebellion!' echoed her middle-aged echo-warrior clan.

'Save the Earth!' She continued.

'Save the Earth!' chanted the hippy throng.

'No more… ah, bugger!'

'No mo….. ' the chant fizzled out as Bertilak, or Green Bertie, (as her friends knew her - the Polish name was just, well, a bit of a vegan mouthful), as Green Bertie realized the heavy grease on the chassis of the HGV was doing a very effective, but very annoying job, of rendering the superglue useless.

Undeterred, Bertie fished in her hemp haversack, looking for the heavy chain and padlock she'd brought as Plan B.

Unfortunately all she managed to do was superglue herself to the rather trendy, ethically -ourced hemp, a tube of Smarties, and the rather heavy chain inside the bag.

'Come on luv, you're nicked!' The Officer smiled kindly, 'Let's get you somewhere and unglue you eh?'

Bertie screamed her head off, 'Police brutality! I'm being oppressed by fascist corporate thugs! Green Rebellion! Get this out on YouTube! I'm being arrested for trying to save the Earth!'

'You're being arrested for causing an eight-mile traffic jam, you bloody Green looney!'

Sergeant Hallot was about to remind Bertie she didn't have to say anything… but knew he was wasting his breath.

God, he hated policing bloody eco-mentalist protests, he thought, as he placed the very sticky, and very noisy greeny into the police van.

8. (8 November)

Post 2

Caiman raptor elk - Escaping the Array

No need for handcuffs I guess. Superglue is dangerous stuff. Luckily her nose didn't itch.

8. (8 November)

Post 3

paulh, hiding under my bed

The Green Knight?

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