h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I can say no to the first five items, and yes to most of the later ones.

I drive a lot less than I used to, though I might drive to an air-conditioned shopping mall today.

I can't ride bicycles either. I remember reading about a centenarian who rode a bike, and I was envious.

The other day I was reading Ida Craddock's book about heaven (from about 1900), and she decided the wheel Ezekiel saw was a heavenly bicycle.

I almost died laughing at the idea of angels on bicycles.

Is that as strange as fish on bicycles?

Maybe. They usually have feet to push the pedals, though. But the wings could get awkward...

Trust the foreigners! (NO disrespect of course)
to have weird cycle lanes..
Here in britain they just ride their bikes on the pavement

In most of the US, you cannot do that if you're over 12 years old.

I don't see as many bicyclists as I used to.

kids in my area do wheelies up/down the street on the road, its the "adults" that ride on the pavements

Is that another quaint Yorkshire custom?

Idiots are worldwide! Neanderthal Man died out - idiots didn't!

Our ancestors may have interbred with Neanderthals.

Neanderthals were apparently not as stupid as some people think they were. Physically, they tended to be big and muscular, with huge noses to warm the very cold air they had to breathe. Not very attractive compared to our paragons of beauty, but strong and hardy enough to survive to survive what ice ages could throw at them.

If there's a gene for idiocy, it's probably in almost all of us. I know that people have wondered about me....

"Neanderthals were apparently not as stupid as some people think they were"
So true Paul
The more "we" learn about our past, the more comes to light that man's very early "history" has many flaws.

Well....

Some of our ancestors thought that selected Neanderthals were attractive enough to mate with.

"Some of our ancestors thought that selected Neanderthals were attractive enough to mate with"

You want to see some of the mothers/fathers round here

They say - beauty is in the eye of the beholder
By eck! There's plenty with very bad eyesight then

Sight is only one sense. There's also touch, sound, and smell.

HA! Round my area, we've got "nonsense" by the bucket loads

We do too.

So, I guess if I offered some of ours, you wouldn't take it?

American nonsense and british nonsense = at least 2 brain cells behind a plant!
Why swap ? the world idiots are in a league of their own final score! World idiots 1 - Plants 2

Then there are fungi, which are closer to animals than plants.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izQB2-Kmiic


Fungi have and will survive for millennia idiots will eventually die outTest-tube babies have proved it..