Chapter 26 - Home

The limo entered Eden Drive.

Secret service men and the local constabulary had secured a perimeter around the house. An Army Chinook helicopter came to deliver a mobile command centre and flew some extra aerobatics rounds while playing Tour of Duty songs over the loudhailer to annoy the neighbours.

The trumpeter had been stationed by the front door, ready to announce the Prime Minister. As they got out, Caoilinn indicated that the police escort could turn off their sirens and blue flashing lights. The trumpeter took that as a cue to start his extended call to arms bugle call as they walked to the door.

Because the windows had been blocked with stickers, Mom had to open the front door to see what all the fuss was about. Before she could get her bearings on the situation, Eddy barged in, saying 'Hi mom. Do you remember saying that I would grow into a big boy if I ate my oats? That just happened really quickly. Maybe it is best if I stop eating them from now on.' Ava passed her mother with 'I am now taller than you.'

This left Mom to ogle at the Prime Minister, who also walked past her saying 'Some tea would be nice, Mrs. Pearez.'

Taking in the assembled secret service men, police officers, trumpeter and the amassed vehicles on the lawn, Mrs. Pearez took a deep breath and screamed.

Eventually, George managed to calm her down a bit, promising he would arrange the tea.

'Shall I show you my room?' Eddy asked the Prime Minister (because that is what you do if you have a play date with someone for the first time).
'I'd love to see it!' Caoilinn replied and stood up to follow Eddy upstairs.

Eddy opened the door and halted.

'Hmmmm…. I would swear my room was bigger only yesterday.' As he walked to the cupboard, he had taken the Grail ornament from Ava's satchel and put it on a shelf. He then sat on the bed, wondering how he was going to fit his new clothes and accessories in his wardrobe.

After some shuffling, Caoilinn managed to squeeze beside him on the bed and put an arm around his shoulder. 'I guess you may need some new furniture, by the look of it…' she said as she reached for her smartphone and the credit card. 'Let's pick something, now that we still have so many helpers around the place. What's your favourite colour?'

In the meantime, Ava had the interesting task of trying to come up with some sort of explanation for her Mother, with the help of George.

Just when she decided to elaborate on the oats hypothesis posed by Eddy earlier on, they were disturbed by the fact that Dad was escorted into the living room by two police officers, screaming 'I didn't do it! I didn't do it!'

'Exactly what was it that you didn't do, Dad?' Ava asked. The 'Dad' bit shut him up.

'That can't be you, Ava?' he enquired hesitantly.

'She claims she is.' Mom said. 'There's also some hot guy claiming he's Eddy having a play date with the Prime Minister upstairs.'

'Hi dad!' Eddy called down the stairs in his lowest voice.

'So this has nothing to do with the sudden disappearance of the College, for which I plead extremely 'Not guilty'?'

'We believe it wasn't you, but it could have indirectly been us.' Ava conceded. 'Come to think of it, now that we all have a rather high security clearance (except maybe Mom), could you please tell me what your work actually is?'

'OK, I get the message.' Mom said, as she stood up to leave the room.
'Caoilinn!' Ava called out. 'Can you arrange some form of security clearance for Mom? That would save me a lot of bother.'

'Consider it done!' came the reply from upstairs, followed by a muffled 'So the red and the blue design in the Megalomaniac size then?' 'Yes, with the disco ball posts.'

Mom had returned and was sat next to Dad, sipping the valerian root and honey infusion that George had made her. Dad stretched and cracked his knuckles, leaning forward in a conspiratorial way when he started to tell about the biological research he had been doing on certain promising and life-enhancing proteins derived from tardigrades.

'Well…' Ava began 'The tardigrades are fighting back. We have a galactic sized legal summons to immediately stop exactly that kind of research. They call it mass murder. It would also be very helpful if you knew who else is working on this topic worldwide, so we can stop them too.'

'I already told my bosses that there was something odd with these creatures. But would anybody listen?'

'You call them tardigrades, while they are in fact a highly-developed sentient species originally from a planet close to Vega, who have been on Earth for some 250 million years. '

'But I'll lose my job if I can't do the research!' Dad exclaimed.

'You did mention something about the College disappearing, what happened? Didn't you lose your job anyway? That was your job, remember?'

'Good point. Saint Judtmiss was swallowed by another sinkhole, which is kind of sad but predictable. The main question I'm struggling with now is: How will we pay the bills?'

'There is some good news on that front, as it won't be a problem now. I suspect we, your kids, are government funded as of today.' Ava said, as Eddy and the PM came down the stairs, holding hands.

'I have one last question, Ava. Did you do something to your hair?'
This earned Dad a slap across the ear from Mom.

'I also have good news!' Eddy announced. 'I asked if she wanted to be best friends and she said Yes! She even tried to teach me how to properly write fiancée.'

'You know you can only have a sleepover after we meet her parents though.' Mom added, to try and regain some authority.

'But Mohommm! She is old enough to BE her parents. Anyway, we will put my new giraffe in the middle.'

'Yes.' said Ava. 'I think now is the time to discuss the new rules, as we have apparently reached adulthood and because we are going to be major financial contributors to this household. If we can come to an agreement.'

'Say that again?!' said Mom and Dad in unison.

'Just think about it. We aged some twenty years overnight (once the paperwork is sorted out), bringing us frightfully close to your age.

Dad is recently unemployed, which we will be able to fix for him, while we have just got ourselves paid jobs. We will release you from your obligation to get us raised to adulthood, for apparent reasons. We will also try but miserably fail to nag about the things you failed to teach us.'

'And no more high chair for me!' Eddy added fervently.'

'I'm sure we can persuade the London Dungeon to put that infernal high chair in their collection of torture instruments. With credits and some remuneration to you, of course.' Caoilinn added to Mom and Dad.

George brought some relief by announcing 'If you would be so kind as to move to the kitchen, please. Dinner is being served.'

Nobody dared try the Vegan option. Eating your own dead skin or the neighbours didn't sound that appealing.

Ava saw that Eddy had something on his mind, so she asked him what it was. 'OK Sis… As we are going to get new paperwork with a fitting age… Would you mind being twins?' Ava laughed. ' Of course, Bro.'

Several large vans from different furniture stores came and went to deliver their goods to Eddy's bedroom, the hallway and part of the living room, for the secret service men to install. The ginormous bed took most time and effort to carry up and assemble. It touched three of the four bedroom walls. The remaining wall was housing the door and the huge wardrobe.