Immorternity - Chapter 21 - Green stuff

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Chapter 21 Green stuff

Eventually the guard had returned in yet another uniform, with his sabre and three bottles of champagne. Miss June told him to stop after the contents of the second bottle and shards of glass had flown everywhere. She ordered him to open the package in a controlled and Health and Safety approved way and to then change into a housekeeper uniform to clear the mess, before returning on guard. The guard / messenger / sommelier / housekeeper complied by making three deft strokes with the sabre and left the room while grumbling about contacting the unions to address the understaffed situation at Number 10.

Prepare to get wet and sticky!


After an exchange of meaningful looks, the remains of the box were further opened by Ava. It contained three bottles with a violent green viscous liquid and an accompanying note.


'That must be those proteins. Please keep scratching.' rumbled Wolfgang from the comfort of the PM's lap.


Ava picked the note from the box and started reading.


Dear Humans known as Ava and Eddy Pearez,

This box contains three bottles holding the requested synthetic intrinsically disordered, cytoplasmic, secreted and mitochondrial abundant heat soluble proteins for your personal usage only.

These substances have not been tested on humans yet, but since your scientists are capable and willing to perform those tests using the unrefined compounds, it could just as well be you with the pure product.

Application:
• Dip fingertip about 1 inch into each bottle and smear a thin layer behind your left ear. (Please note!: Try to avoid cross-contamination between bottles by thoroughly wiping your finger in between or by using different fingers).

Dose:
• Once a day for five days, then once a week to maintain stability.

Expected effects:
• Accelerated growth to maturity. (It is advised to wear loose clothing at the first stages, unless you intend to shed skin like we do)
• Increased resistance to external inputs. (To be calibrated)
• Decreased aging after reaching maturity.

Side effects:
• Unknown for humans. (Please tell us afterwards, so we can decide what the main effects and side effects actually are).

Warranty:
• None whatsoever.

Kind regards,

Baer from Vega (and Earth as well)




Ava looked at the bottles and saw the different labels Mito, Cyto and Secret on each of them. She called out for Eddy.


'Are you really going to test this on your brother first?' Miss June exclaimed. 'Is that even ethical?'


'Do you want to explain things to my parents if things go wrong? Because he can't. He's five!' Ava responded. 'And if this really works it might be better if we gave him a head start. So there are no actual drawbacks.'
With that she turned to Eddy and said: 'Do you want to do a challenge? I bet you don't dare to have me put some of this toxic green stuff behind your left ear. I surely wouldn't dare.'


'Yay! I can do anything! Bring it on…!' yelled Eddy, which was to be expected.


Ava opened the bottles and consecutively dipped Eddy's finger in all of them to smear the substances behind his left ear. Then everybody stood well back and waited.


Nothing happened for minutes.


Nothing continued to happen in the following fifteen minutes.


'Hang on, Ava' said the PM. 'Did you apply that to the left ear from your perspective or from his?'


'Blast! Do you think we should try again?' Ava inquired. 'Let's just try again. What could possibly go wrong? Metaphorically speaking, that is.'
Ava helped Eddy to apply another dose behind the right ear (which was actually positioned on the left side from Eddy's perspective). And stood back once again.


'I've done the challenge. What did I earn?' shrieked Eddy. At least, it started as shrieking. The last two words sounded significantly lower.
Ava saw Eddy's Adam's apple drop and bounce around a few times before it jolted upward with the rest of the neck and head. Beams of coloured light shone from Eddy's sleeves and swirled around his head and feet. Buttons from his shirt started to pop off from the top down, letting out more lights, while muscles were anxiously fighting amongst themselves to secure a spot around the still elongating bones, tendons creaking under the sudden stress. Sounds like popping corn came from his mouth, as Eddy spat out all of his baby teeth at once, revealing a bright new smile. 'I'm going to bankrupt the Tooth Fairy!' Eddy exclaimed out of sheer joy.


'Wow' said the Prime Minister. 'I wouldn't count this under 'things going wrong'. Far from it. But I guess you still have some explaining to do… Just Wow…'


'Guard!? Would you be so kind as to acquire fitting men's clothing within the next thirty seconds or so? Style is of no concern. Coverage definitely is.'


Ava was still standing staring, with her mouth wide open when the guard came running back with sweatpants, a red uniform jacket, trainers and assorted underwear grabbed from his private locker.


'I think I could use some help with that.' Eddy said while still admiring his augmented body shape but also showing signs of light vertigo. 'Are all adults this high up? I usually only see bums.'
'Speaking of which…' The PM said. 'Could you please turn yourself around until you have some clothes on? Bums are the better alternative right now. We can only hope the paparazzi are sleeping.'


The Guard quickly helped Eddy into some clothes. The uniform jacket was a bit tight at the shoulders, but it was better than nothing.


'Can you show me how to do those laces. I'm afraid I have some catching up to do in that department.'


'If you come and sit on the couch with me, I'll show you how it's done.' Miss June said with a twinkle in her eyes.


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