A Conversation for The Unknown
Saint Started conversation 3 Days Ago
I hope you enjoy this story I have written. I put a lot of work into this and it is a little unfinished. Tell me what you think of it and whether I should finish this or not.
h2g2 Guide Editors Posted 2 Days Ago
Well done - this is an intriguing story
I like the first paragraph very much - reminded me of Flatland by Edwin A Abbott A2811502 as that is partly about lines in a 2-dimensional world
In the second paragraph, the 'R' word is not necessary. I'm sure you can think of more creative ways to describe how Jeff's existence annoys Hue without using bad language
" HOW DO I KNOW WHAT EVERYTHING IS?! *ahem*" - great asides
The violence is totally gratuitous, but funny at the same time - the sword turning items to dust is great!
The ending is spot on - that last sentence is just right
Yes, keep working on the story, and when you're satisfied that it is finished, let us know - it might get published in The Post A87957986
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