A Conversation for The Unknown

My Story

Post 1


I hope you enjoy this story I have written. I put a lot of work into this and it is a little unfinished. Tell me what you think of it and whether I should finish this or not.

My Story

Post 2

h2g2 Guide Editors

Well done - this is an intriguing story smiley - ok

I like the first paragraph very much - reminded me of Flatland by Edwin A Abbott A2811502 as that is partly about lines in a 2-dimensional world smiley - ok

In the second paragraph, the 'R' word is not necessary. I'm sure you can think of more creative ways to describe how Jeff's existence annoys Hue without using bad language smiley - ok

" HOW DO I KNOW WHAT EVERYTHING IS?! *ahem*" - great asides smiley - laugh

The violence is totally gratuitous, but funny at the same time - the sword turning items to dust is great!

The ending is spot on - that last sentence is just right smiley - laugh

Yes, keep working on the story, and when you're satisfied that it is finished, let us know - it might get published in The Post A87957986smiley - ok

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