h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A silent migraine is just the visual aura, followed by recovery. No real headache at all. A few weeks ago, I was having one or more of them almost every day. This came on suddenly, so I tried to figure out what they had in common. The answer, apparently, is that they came soon after I had eaten beef. I stopped eating beef, and had hardly any migraines thereafter. Also, I rarely had migraines within a few hours after drinking coffee.

Do I grind my teeth? I don't know. If so, it's subconscious.

Are those the same as visual migraines? I have those - they last about 20 minutes, don't involve headaches, but impose a jagged light pattern on my visual field.

The first time I had one, I nearly panicked, but then I remembered I was sitting in front of a computer screen. I started typing in symptoms, and was reassured. They always go away.

I have TMJ and bad sinuses, so I was putting them off on that. I just looked up a video of a good-looking young doctor (think Rufus Sewell in a lab coat) droning on unnecessarily about it, and he finally admitted that nobody knows what causes them.

Yes, Dmitri, those are visual migraines. They're nothing compared to the full-blown migraines I had in my teens. Yeah, they do last about twenty minutes. If I'm near a coffee shop, I can get a cup of coffee, and by the time I've finished drinking, the migraine is pretty much over. In my teens, the doctor prescribed something called Caffergot for them. That's caffeine plus Ergotamine.

Beta Blockers prevent migraines. I no longer take B.B.'s, but I never had a migraine when I was taking them.

As Mrs Hoggett has told us, there are about 14 different kinds of migraine, according to her neurologist. He's working on hers.

I had the painful migraines for awhile in my 30s. The Greeks gave me ergotamine, too, and that worked a treat.

I know of someone has cluster migraines. They sound ghastly

My wife's youngest brother had cluster migraines. He gave me an injection for it that he used. The first lot accidentally squirted out before I could inject it and I can't remember what happened to the second but it got wasted too. Never try to inject yourself with anything when in the throes of an attack.

My migraines lasted on average three days and occurred about twice a month over a few months. It was accompanied by vomiting and being semi-conscious in bed over this period. Not much fun although I remember once seeing the funny side, when instead of the usual being sick about three times, it kept going on and on for minutes.

Have you managed to avoid them recently?

Certainly. According to the literature, they should have gone by the mid-fifties but I think that applies to women with menstrual migraines. Mine went in the mid-sixties because they were stress related (struggling to work out the layout for my language teaching books). Nowadays it is just the saw edged ahead or light patterns

Men who smoke are especially prone to having them. That doesn't mean that nonsmokers and/or women can['t have them as well, just that statistics point in that direction.

I don't smoke but another theory was that people with holes in their hearts have them. I think I have a hole in the head but that is another problem altogether

Some of the holes in our heads are intentional.

You mean like shooting yourself to death? What triggered that off I wonder?

Mouths, nostrils, and ears are all holes in the head.

I shoot off my mouth on occasion, but mostly my foot is lodged in it, so I can't.

Used to have the 10 seconds blackout three days recovery type (no Nausea) all in the visual spectrum (couldn't bear any light at all, but could listen to loud music without ill effects to me (the neighbours didn't like it))

If I could feel something coming up, a high dose of aspirin (1200mg powder) could sometimes save me.

This was all when I was about 12 years old, same as my father and two brothers.

About the beef: A diet worked very well for me. Animal protein was the main culprit (long molecules blocking irregularly shaped blood vessels in the brain, according to my doctor). The aspirin works as a blood thinner, improving through flow when a blockage is imminent.
Apart from that, the diet consisted of staying off anything that is not healthy anyway (refined sugar, artificial food additives, burnt tea / coffee, alcohol, fat dairy products (buttermilk and yoghurt were OK)). All in all it was quite strictly regulated under doctor's supervision, with some added vitamins and minerals to compensate and some specific obligatory animal protein (daily dose of some kind of porridge, some specific meat (liver, kidney, heart) in small doses (50 grams a day, max 200 a week))

The diet basically worked on the leaky bucket principle: It is not a problem to sometimes eat something "bad" if you stay strict for a few days afterwards. If you don't, the risk of an attack grows with it.

I am currently off the diet for years (apparently, your body rebuilds it's cells every 7 or so years, so you can grow out if things). I only have to stay off cheese, peanuts and egg whites and not be excessive in meat consumption.