h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: UPDATE: Doctor Who Enemies: Sontarans - A87829708
Author: Bluebottle - U43530

An Update of A874497 Doctor Who Enemies: The Sontarans
Authors:
CYBERHUMAN (U186831)
spook (U183955)

Essentially updated to include the Sontarans in the 21st Century.
The other major change I've made is to combine two sections. The 'Story Guide' section mentions all the stories in which the Sontarans appear, one after the other, and after that section has concluded the 'TV Episode Checklist' does exactly the same thing. I thought it made sense to combine the two into one.

Other changes include moving general information to the start, while at the end I've got a couple of sections that look at the Sontarans in a bit more depth (there's no point in, say, discussing Strax in detail at the start until after you have learnt who Strax is in the Story Guide section).

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Is there any chance that the Sontarans are modelled on Robby the Robot from Forbidden Planet?

"A Rutan would pop up in the series three years after the Sontaran's debut as the featured villain in 'The Horror of Fang Rock'."

-- this is slightly ambiguous. You could reword it to avoid the ambiguity:

Three years after the Sontaran's debut, a Rutan would pop up in the series as the featured villain, in 'The Horror of Fang Rock'.

You'll need to put a non-breaking space between Doctor Who and companion to avoid the html bug that doesn't display a space between a closing tag and an opening tag.

The Sixth Doctor is helped in defeating a pair of Sontarans from Gareth Jenkins, a schoolboy from the planet Earth.
-- I didn't understand this sentence. Did you mean "by Gareth Jenkins"?

Rather than mentioning "now disgraced presenter Jimmy Savile", I think you should reword it to not mention Jimmy Savile at all. As part of the popular TV Series 'Jim'll Fix it', Gareth Jenkins wrote in asking to be part of a Doctor Who episode...

"This secretly houses a cloning facility, which creates a duplicate clone of Martha and they have created their own hypnotised human clone workforce capable of working 24 hours a day."
-- you've put two unrelated things into one sentence here. I'm not sure I fully understood the sentence, but I think this is what you meant:

This secretly houses a cloning facility, which has been used to create a hypnotised human clone workforce capable of working 24 hours a day. The facility also creates a duplicate clone of Martha.

Professor Nicholas Skinner, who runs the observatory and his daughter Lucy are enslaved
-- put a comma after "observatory" to prevent the professor from running his daughter.

the lone survivor -- this is not wrong, but I think it would be better as "sole survivor".

two x 25-minute episodes (and similar) -- since you've spelled out the word "two" in this, you don't need the "x" at all. Two 25-minute episodes is perfectly understandable and good English.

Zaruthstra -- please check the spelling. It looks as if it should be Zarathustra.

4037AD -- house style says there should be a space before AD.

Strax, who is alive -- it is normal for characters in stories to be alive so this sounds odd. If you meant "who is alive despite having died in the 2012 episode", then say so.

You have "twicen" in a footnote.

The hour-long episode Christmas Special -->
The hour-long Christmas Special

Victorian Yorkshire, 1893. The Paternoster Gang -- change the full stop to a colon

pursuits that Sontarans peruse -- "peruse" means "read". I think you meant "pursue", but having them pursue pursuits is not good writing. You could say "military activities".

popular past time --> popular pastime

though comparative old --> though comparatively old

I seem to remember that Linx mistook Sarah Jane Smyth for a different species from the Doctor (who superficially is human) because of her differently constructed "thorax", not recognising her as a female. (Apologies, I haven't seen it since it was first broadcast in the 70s).

the baby he both helps to soothe and fights to protect -- this would flow better if you left out the word "both".

Changes made.

Incidentally, it was Zaruthstra, not Zarathusta (so no link to your article on Richard Strauss, I'm afraid). That's a good point about Linx – I'll double check that episode tonight.

<BB<

Yep, you've got a spectacular memory, and I've added a bit in the Sontaran Sexuality section. Would you like an 'Additional Research By' credit?

<BB<

No thanks. Any thoughts on my other question, about Robby the Robot?

I don't know of any connection, although now that you mention it there is a semblance between Robbie's head and the helmet shape, but I've not heard it to be anything other than coincidence... 'Forbidden Planet' definitely inspired 'Planet of Evil' though.

<BB<

I also thought that the later Sontarans' suits looked very like Robby's body. Probably coincidence.

Sontarans Update

At the start of the entry you say that Doctor Who ran from 1963 to 1989. This should surely be updated to say "and again from two thousand and whatever".

the Sontaran's debut --> the Sontarans' debut

a race of warriors who were dedicated to their on-going war with another race, named He named this race of warriors 'Sontarans'.

-- this has got jumbled. It would be best separated into sentences, as you appear to have started to do. In that case, it should be:

a race of warriors who were dedicated to their on-going war with another race. He named this race 'Sontarans'.

Story Guide - Rewrite the summary paragraphs to be in present tense throughout. You've done it for all the ones you wrote, but some of the earlier ones need to be tidied up.

You use the term "half-forms" and later "half forms". Be consistent as to whether there is a hyphen or not. You should add the explanation of what it means the first time, rather than the second time.

"Part of the key to unlocking this power, located beneath a stone circle, is held in the UNIT Black Archive." - this is slightly confusing, as it is telling us the location of two different things. Is it Horath that is located beneath the stone circle? If so, you should say this the first time Horath is mentioned. Then you won't have to mention it the second time.

in order to be able to produce magnificent quantities of lactic fluid - I think the final phrase should be in quotes to show that it is Strax's words rather than your own.

This, though, believed to be an exception rather than the norm.
-- Insert "is" before "believed".

You have both "Madam Vastra" in one place and "Madame Vastra" everywhere else. Which is it in the titles?

You should probably mention that Vastra is a different species, in the footnote where she is unable to tell human males from females.

Good points all, changes made!

<BB<

Incidentally, Homo reptilia would not be a valid name for Vastra's species in real life, because it puts her in the "Homo" family, which is part of the great apes group. She being a reptile would have to be in a different family.

She'd more likely be "Saurus homoensis" or something like that.

You're right - completely ridiculous genus to belong to, but then again it is fiction.

<BB<

I enjoyed this

I particularly like the Sontaran Sexuality section! Fascinating insights...

Footnote about kilts added...

<BB<

Is this update ready to be processed now?

GB

Yes, though it will inevitably be out of date again when the new series of Doctor Who starts broadcasting from the 23rd

<BB<

So does it need to be recommended by a Scout so it goes in the sub-eds pile?

GB

I'm sure when I've recommended updates before, Lanza said Updates don't get recommended by Scouts and just applied to the entry when ready.

<BB<

I have done the thorough readthrough of this and just picked up a few minor points:

- Linx is killed when an arrow penetrated his probic vent - penetrates?

- David Agnew (Graham Williams and Anthony Read) - is that a pseudonym for the two writers?

- The Sontarans allie themselves with a human scientist - ally?

- infiltrate Trenzalore, however snow shorts this out - semicolon before however.

Excellent

GB, if you think it needs sub-editing then pick it yourself and then accept the pick. When the entry has been sub-edited and returned you can do the update processing. If you think it doesn't need sub-editing the just do the update processing.