h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: 'Jason and the Argonauts' - the Film - A87816702
Author: Bluebottle - U43530

An article about a classic, much-loved film.

This article was inspired by, and is dedicated to, Galaxy Babe.

<BB<

I read this as soon as you put it in, Bluebottle. It's interesting and definitely worth having in the Guide.

I saw a few problems, but will have to read it again to remember what they were.

Let me guess – there were only 3 problems:
The Beginning
The Middle
The End

I've tried to make this one contain less waffle and fewer references to other Harryhausen films than I've done before – cross-referencing worked well in the Sinbad articles, but looking back, not quite so well in the 'Clash of the Titans' article.

<BB<

Jason and the Argonauts

Content and Layout:

Your section on the Plot gives three heavy paragraphs on the background, and then nothing at all about the plot. Do you think you could ease off on the mythology and give us something about what happens in the film itself?

The "Sword and Sandal" section is badly structured. You've already mentioned sword and sandal earlier, so when you mention it in the first paragraph here we have develeoped a good idea what it means. Then you go and explain it from scratch in the 2nd paragraph. I think this problem could be solved by swapping the first two paragraphs in this section, then rewriting them slightly to fit their new positions.

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Choice of Words:

They deliberately had cast an older actor -- this would be better in past tense, as "They deliberately cast an older actor..."

"Patrick Troughton would later find fame as the Second Doctor in Doctor Who, and later appeared as Melanthius in Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger" -- he later did something and later did something else. Reword it.

"Harryhausen with producer Charles Schneer narrowed the story down" -- the way it's phrased here, it sounds as if someone else came up with the story and Harryhausen narrowed it down. You should rephrase it as:

"Assisted by producer Charles Schneer, Harryhausen narrowed the story down..."

This ship, converted out of a fishing barge at a cost of $250,000, cost a large proportion of the budget -- reword this to avoid the disturbing "cost .. cost".

"are stock footage. The film came from the 1956 film Helen of Troy" -- this sounds clumsy. Combine the two sentences:

"are stock footage taken from the 1956 film Helen of Troy"

"Harryhausen has also stated that" -- since Harryhausen died, this should be reworded in past tense.

"however they may have appeared in the sequel that was never made" -- you mean "might" rather than "may". "May" implies we don't know whether they did or not. "Might" says that you are talking about a hypothetical world in which things turned out differently.

Another key difference is in the film, Jason and his crew steal the Golden Fleece -->
Another key difference is that in the film, Jason and his crew steal the Golden Fleece

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Spelling etc:

Aeetes - I feel this would normally have a diaeresis (two dots) over one of the vowels. Not sure which one.

You've Nancy Kovack's name spelt in two different ways.

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Other:

You could link to A610651 The Colossus of Rhodes

This has been updated with most of Gnomon's changes, with only changes to the Plot section a work in progress. It's always the most difficult part - trying to find a balance between saying what happens, without giving the film away.

<BB<

Footnote 4 about Cerberus needs to be moved up to the first time you mention the two-headed dog (I was very confused by that at first)

In the Talos section "A Titan and statue by Hephaestus" - I don't understand that (how can he be both?)

"broach pin" -> "brooch pin"

I didn't see the Sword and Sandal section before, but I find it heavy going somehow... Perhaps move the sentence "With attempts to make decent films..." into the next paragraph, so you could just say "hence Jason was unsuccessful in the USA".

" He later used his experience of combining live action film with animated creatures when directing films " - I think you could just say "he later used his experience when directing films" to avoid repetition of "live action"

Good suggestions all – I've moved the footnote, reworded the Talos bit, corrected the broach pin, reworded the sword and sandal section and avoided live action repetition, hesitation or deviation

<BB<

Finally had time to read this

Well done <BB< and thanks

GB

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<BB<

Congratulations!

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Geggs

Excellent!

Well done