Profession of the civil servant

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HR train me to think out of the box

Then HR put me in a cubicle

Ickle-cube, no lid as yet

Breaks are for squares, so we all hunker down

Director asks me for blue sky thinking

At my light grey desk, in my dark grey suit

With my colleagues under a leaden cloud

Scared of their shadow, pale imitations

Perm Sec wants a modern civil servant

Takes risks, seizes the opportunities

Davidson took a risk, didn't come off

Sent to internal audit (infernal orbit)

Minister says to be more proactive

And then gives me conflicting instructions

Says that she doesn't want any yes men

Then tells us all to get on with it

And yet I could tell them reams of stories

Forbidding castles and brave librarians

Mysterious treasures and fearsome beasts

Journeys through a harsh desert with nomads

But they want heroic bureacracy

Tall tales of an epic management plan

A lone functionary, slicing through red tape

Does the work of five, with half the budget

Those fantasies are not good to play with

Such tales can only have nasty endings

I give my superiors the plain truth

Say it with straight words - I won't join those games

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Infinite Improbability Drive

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