Salad Cream... In Boston?

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Why the hell can't I get Salad Cream in Boston, Massachusetts?
People in Merrie Ole England eat Salad Cream every day of their bloomin' retched lives. Well this is New England, you'd think you'd be able to find the bloody stuff around here somewhere, but you can't!
Something is rotten in Denmark and stinks to high heaven,but it's not Salad Cream, because nary an ounce can be siphoned.
Perhaps this has something to do with us winning the Revolutionary War and British chefs still holding a grudge about it.
So,until a vile of Salad Cream comes plummeting out of the stratosphere and lands on my table or I really believe there is a reason we in Boston are being left to our own devices, I will be vehemently opposed to this blatant Salad Cream prohibition with every fiber of my Salad Cream-less being.

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