A Conversation for Quintus Sertorius

Peer Review: A87772774 - Quintus Sertorius

Post 1

Bluebottle

Entry: Quintus Sertorius - A87772774
Author: Bluebottle - U43530

This is a Flea Market Rescue of an article about one of the Roman Republic's last great generals.

The original is
A4083996 Quintus Sertorius by
U1564104 – The englishman101

If you like Roman articles, why not see: A64818192 H2G2 Roman Entries

<BB<


A87772774 - Quintus Sertorius

Post 2

Bluebottle

Updated - now with added Spartacus.

<BB<

(Incidentally, I'm Spartacus)


A87772774 - Quintus Sertorius

Post 3

Galaxy Babe - eclectic editor

NO! *I* am Spartacus!

smiley - run


A87772774 - Quintus Sertorius

Post 4

2legs - Hey, babe, take a walk on the wild side...

I am Sparticus! and so Is my chinchilla!


A87772774 - Quintus Sertorius

Post 5

2legs - Hey, babe, take a walk on the wild side...

*actually reads the entry*

smiley - bigeyessmiley - yikes
I always find bits of text like this, a bit inpenatrable (having never studied history, thanks to Margret Thatcher banning it from the circuriculum whilst I was at school). smiley - dohsmiley - sorry

However, it reads well (OK, I got a fair way through before I thought my head was about to implode), A couple of the paragraphs might be a wee bit better split up, maybe even the introductory paragraph? (of course that may just be me).

I didn't spot any typos or anything, but that's hardly likely for me to do anyhow smiley - blushsmiley - birosmiley - zen seems to read well enough though, but just too many facts for me per sentence to take it in easily enough smiley - dohsmiley - sorry


A87772774 - Quintus Sertorius

Post 6

Bluebottle

That's a valid criticism. The trouble is it is an article about someone who lived 2,100 years ago. Unlike the life story of someone who lived now, where people generally know what happened in the 1940s, 50s, 60s etc, most readers aren't familiar with the events of the Roman Republic. Unless you know who Sulla and Marius were, you can't know why they were important, so I've added more background information than I would if I was writing about something more recent.

Are there any particular bits that are confusing, that I can target to explain clearer?

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A87772774 - Quintus Sertorius

Post 7

2legs - Hey, babe, take a walk on the wild side...

I'll try have another read through, later, and see if there are any particular bits, to my history-empty head, which seem particularly impenitrible smiley - dohsmiley - zensmiley - biro


A87772774 - Quintus Sertorius

Post 8

Nosebagbadger {Ace}

Interesting that i just covered this in one of my uni modules just today, though we were told that there was considerable doubt about how (or even which way round the betrayal happened) Sertorius was assassinated

Looks a v. good entry though


A87772774 - Quintus Sertorius

Post 9

Bluebottle

What Uni is it, and can I sit quietly in the back?

Tell me more about what they've said!

<BB<


A87772774 - Quintus Sertorius

Post 10

Nosebagbadger {Ace}

Leeds - sorry its not a history course exactly - its an intro to this part (as in era) of the roman world, so we have a couple of lectures on this - part of the rise of Pompey


A87772774 - Quintus Sertorius

Post 11

h2g2 Guide Editors

Are we all done here? smiley - smiley


A87772774 - Quintus Sertorius

Post 12

Bluebottle

I think so - unless anyone else has something to add?

<BB<


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 13

h2g2 auto-messages

Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.

If you'd like to know what happens now, check out the page on 'What Happens after your Entry has been Recommended?' at EditedGuide-Process. We hope this explains everything.

Thanks for contributing to the Edited Guide!


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 14

Galaxy Babe - eclectic editor

smiley - applause


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 15

h5ringer

Well done <BB< smiley - biggrin


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