h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: A House Full of Boring Insects, or How not to Have Your House Eaten (Again) - A87942838
Author: Bluebottle - U43530

A Flea Market Rescue of:
Entry: A House Full of Boring Insects, or How not to Have Your House Eaten (Again) - A87922623
Author: almoner99 - U15002866

I've tried to keep this entry in almoner99's original style and words and just tweak the GuideML. Consequently, the final Edited version should not credit me as an author, I'll just take an 'Additional Research By' credit.

<BB<

This is written in such a lively style it avoids being dull. Well done.

We have an old house in France that has oak beams and I suspect something is eating them. The locals talk about Capricorns but I'm not sure what they are...

This is lovely. Makes you laugh, teaches you something you might need to know. I love the scientific names.

I would suggest tweaking the phrase 'treating the rest with some seriously heavy-duty jollop', as 'jollop' is not comprehensible outside the UK. I'm imagining trying to find 'jollop' at the hardware store, much to the confusion of George, the owner...

I also can't get Eoin Colfer out of my head. He invented some bad guys who ended up as wood worms by metempsychosis. My favourite example of poetic justice.

What region of France are you

This will explain, its a beetle whos young can cause problems

https://jardinage.lemonde.fr/dossier-1278-capricorne-insecte.html

Well rescued, <BB< - this deserves to be in the Edited Guide indeed

Just a few minor things to suggest:

"small, lemon shaped pellets. They're not keen on painted or varnished timber" - 'they' should be 'woodworms'

"insurance backed guarantees" - "insurance-backed guarantees"

In the 'Don't' section there's more than one 'it' and 'them' - perhaps put 'Leave it...' first, then 'Hack away...', then 'Swear...', and then 'Attack them with a flamethrower(!)'?

I wonder if footnotes are needed to give some examples of softwood and hardwood?

Well done to almoner99, too

a very informative Entry

The only thing that I think should be added is where these species live. Would I also encounter them in Central Europe or do they only live in the UK? Or do some live everywhere across the world?

Deathwatch beetles are found around the world. Mark Twain mentioned them in "Tom sawyer." Someone wrote a poem about them in 1088. Sic transit gloria mundia.
http://www.westernexterminator.com/occasional-invaders/deathwatch-beetle/

The British Isles have 68 species of Longhorn beetles. http://www.greatfen.org.uk/wildlife/inverts/longhorns

The common furniture beetles is found in Northern Europe, New Zealand, and the eastern coast of North America.
http://www.buildingconservation.com/articles/woodworm/woodworm.htm

Maybe you could add that to your Entry?

I once visited an open air museum with historic houses where they had basically wrapped a whole house in plastic for some bug treatment. It was interesting to see but certainly nothing you want to do at home.

Happy St Swithun's Day! The most important meteorological day of the year. And according to St Swithun we're having another 40 days of summer, hurray

St Swithun's day if thou dost rain
For forty days it will remain
St Swithun's day if thou be fair
For forty days 'twil rain no more!

Anyway, I've made some tweaks - even a about Jollup. I don't know, Dmitri, I go to lots of trouble to explain what Jollup is in and you still don't know... A87893987

These days I doubt beetles respect national borders that much. With cars, and aircraft carrying people and cargo all around the and buying products from another country online a daily occurrence, beetles from anywhere in the world probably end up anywhere else in the world all the time.

<BB<

Part of my educational background is in Anglo Saxon. One of my professors studied with FP Magoun, a renowned medievalist. According to her, Prof Magoun told them they'd always have to look up the weirder words.

'Anglo Saxon is not a memorable language,' was his comment.

Beetles may not respect boundaries, but I'll bet there are still general territories.

Not that this is directly relevant to the guide article, but....

Asian Longhorned beetles are a terrible invasive pest here in the U.S Northeast.
http://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/invasion-of-the-longhorn-beetles-145061504/

Okay, I've added a little more detail. Obviously no-one wants the entry to read 'Woodworm can be found in the following 167 countries…' so I've summarised, but generally the guidance is that these insects can survive in Temperate climates (which I've defined in the entry). But I doubt that anyone's first thought when they discover deathwatch in their house is 'I wonder whether this insect can be found in Greenland, Gibraltar, Bermuda, the Falkland Islands, Menorca and other islands that the Isle of Wight finished ahead of in the 2019 Island Games'

<BB<

Good point. I think the reason for wanting to know where these bugs occur is that not everyone who reads guide entries will live in the U.K. If the possible insects are not known to live where you are, you can rule them out as possibilities and move along to the next possibility.

I *think* only woodworm is actually native to the UK. The others aren't native species but might turn up simply because wood gets imported from all around the , and has done for centuries. The English longbow was made from predominantly imported Yew in the Middle Ages. Before the 1950s Britain's railway carriages were made from Teak from India, Indonesia, Malaysia, Thailand and Burma. With wooden ships sailing the seas for centuries, any insect that can eat wood has probably gone anywhere that a ship has gone to, and similarly anywhere that a railway carriage has gone to. If you have a pest in your home it is academic if the beetle was originally from America or Asia – either way you want it out

The advice wherever the is from is still and instead contact a reputable, qualified expert whose job it is to know the details and how to best proceed, which remains the same wherever on you are.

<BB<

Okay, point taken.

It might be a typo about the hard and soft wood - I have seen woodworm holes in oak, beech and mahogany furniture, especially around joints held together with animal glue.

Hmmm - the wording is 'not overly fond of most hardwoods' which means they strongly prefer softwood rather than that they are never found in hardwood. But were they definitely woodworm and not a similar wood-boring beetle?

<BB<

As general rule, beetles are boring unless they're ruining your house .