A Conversation for Carnegie Libraries

Peer Review: A87764610 - Carnegie Libraries

Post 1

Bluebottle

Entry: Carnegie Libraries - A87764610
Author: Bluebottle - U43530

Authors:
~ jwf ~ (U162344)
aka Bel (U230913)
Bluebottle (U43530)
clzoomer (U200838)
Dmitri Gheorgheni (U1590784)
Elektragheorgheni (U14668388)
Florida Sailor (U235886)
Geggs (U201647)
Gnomon (U151503)
Happy Nerd (U8584330)
KWDave (U8273640)
Lanzababy (U10790805)
lil ~ (U551837)
MMF (U236774)
Mu Beta (U190397)
paulh (U176638)
Rod (U2465093)
SashaQ (U9936370)
sprout (U192568)
Still Incognitas (U144709)
Superfrenchie (U9937105)
TRiG (Ireland) (U612575)

An article about Andrew Carnegie, a remarkable philanthropist who founded libraries all around the smiley - earth.

I said I'd put it in Peer Review by the end of the year.

<BB<


A87764610 - Carnegie Libraries

Post 2

Elektragheorgheni -Please read 'The Post'

Thanks for seeing this through BB. I hope that you'll have a better 2015 and less messing with NHS!


A87764610 - Carnegie Libraries

Post 3

Dmitri Gheorgheni - Not Banned in China

This came out well. smiley - smiley

I'd suggest changing the first reference to Pittsburgh to 'Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania'.

I say this largely because a woman once sarcastically remarked to me, 'Oh, I thought you meant Pittsburg(h), Kansas.' smiley - winkeye


A87764610 - Carnegie Libraries

Post 4

Gnomon - time to move on

I think you'll need to write an introductory paragraph saying that this is a collaborative entry offering first hand experience of Carnegie Libraries in various places and as a result is far from comprehensive. You can use phrases like "We've consulted our Researchers and have put together their experiences and recollections..."

Otherwise it looks like a badly researched attempt to describe every library.


A87764610 - Carnegie Libraries

Post 5

Rod

first line: 'was a Scottish American industrialist'
->
? Scottish-American or Scottish/American

... one of the wealthiest men ever through ...
->
one of the wealthiest men ever, through (comma)
- - - -

heading: The Carnegie Libraries:
The 'Schedule of Questions'
Q4 -> How many books does it have?
- - - -

heading: Peace Libraries
line 3
help make people intelligent enough
-> help make people aware enough

- - - -
more later...

Rod


A87764610 - Carnegie Libraries

Post 6

Rod

... yes DG, but leave the 'USA' bit in, eh?


A87764610 - Carnegie Libraries

Post 7

Bluebottle

That's a fair point and a new paragraph has been added, as well as clarifying which Pittsburgh. Good job there's only one Isle of Wight (except for Isle of Wight County, Virginiasmiley - erm)

<BB<


A87764610 - Carnegie Libraries

Post 8

Rod

Another point:

Heading: United Kingdom
... Dunfermline in 1883. This bares the appropriate motto, Let there be light.
- bares -> bears

Heading: Staffordshire
...Fenton in the Potteries was the only town out of the six towns that make the city of Stoke-on-Trent unable to raise the funds to have a library itself.
[hmm, not entirely clear to these eyes...]
? -> Fenton, in the Potteries was the only town, out of the six that the city of Stoke-on-Trent consists of, that was unable to raise the funds to have a library itself.

Heading: North America
Canada
hmm, not too sure of my grammar here ... but it doesn't quite gel...

? ->
The breakdown of Carnegie libraries by Canadian province is

Ontario - 111: [move the colon?]
Manitoba - 4:

Heading: British Columbia - Vancouver
last para - love it, leave as it is!

Heading: United States of America / Pittsburgh
2nd sentence
?->... If you wanted a book from the closed stacks, you'd fill out a request slip and ... , then go and sit down ...


- - - -



Rod


A87764610 - Carnegie Libraries

Post 9

minorvogonpoet

This article is obviously the result of a great deal of effort and collaboration.smiley - smiley

One or two crits

smiley - biro The second sentence is a bit ambiguous - it could mean either Carnegie or his family.

smiley - biro In the section on New Zealand's Carnegie libraries, I'm not sure whether the figure of £150,000 for building a house relates to the time the Carnegie libraries were built or today.

smiley - biro In the section on Staffordshire, I don't understand the first sentence.


A87764610 - Carnegie Libraries

Post 10

Dmitri Gheorgheni - Not Banned in China

My only major suggestion is that you go through and either identify the 'I' in each different section by username - or preface each section by saying something like, 'A Researcher from... has this to say about ...'

Maybe somebody else has a different approach to suggest? It's just that the changing narrators are going to cause confusion, I'm afraid.


A87764610 - Carnegie Libraries

Post 11

Bluebottle

I thought I'd posted earlier. I meant to say:

Thanks for your suggestions Rod and Minorvogonpoet, I've reworded the Staffordshire, Pittsburgh, New Zealand and second sentence sections so hopefully they're clearer now.

(One of the problems with collaborative entries is that you don't always know the full intention behind every sentence in the way that you do with your own entries.)

So, is there a Carnegie Library near you, MVP? If so, please tell me about it!

<BB<


A87764610 - Carnegie Libraries

Post 12

Dmitri Gheorgheni - Not Banned in China

smiley - ok Looking great!


A87764610 - Carnegie Libraries

Post 13

SashaQ - happysad and 'slightly mad'

smiley - book


A87764610 - Carnegie Libraries

Post 14

Recumbentman

diplodicus > diplodocus


A87764610 - Carnegie Libraries

Post 15

Recumbentman

Which should probably have a capital D


A87764610 - Carnegie Libraries

Post 16

Recumbentman

three cities worst-affected

should be either

three worst-affected cities

or

three cities worst affected


A87764610 - Carnegie Libraries

Post 17

Recumbentman

Oh and it is Diplodocus carnegii


A87764610 - Carnegie Libraries

Post 18

Recumbentman

The listing of NZ libraries is somehow too prominent. You could equally list all the UK and Ireland ones, but would we want a list of 660?

At least the NZ list should be reduced to a normal paragraph. Numbering and line-spacing are not needed.

The Dublin libraries should perhaps include the very grand building in Rathmines, and the smaller gems in Pembroke and Clondalkin.


A87764610 - Carnegie Libraries

Post 19

Recumbentman

The mention of The Curious Case of the Mayo Librarian is tantalising. Perhaps a little detail would help the reader. The Kindle precis of the book says "In July 1930 Miss Letitia Dunbar Harrison, a graduate of Trinity College, was appointed to the post of Mayo County Librarian. Her appointment set in motion a chain of events that resulted in a full scale political crisis. Mayo priests and politicians attempted to have her removed, and organised an effective boycott of the Library Service."

Curiously, the incident is mentioned in this morning's Irish Times! Diarmaid Ferriter's list of "Modern Ireland in 60 ironies" includes:

No. 13: "Well Done Mayo!" (Front page of the Catholic Bulletin in 1931 after Mayo County Council refused to sanction the appointment of a Protestant librarian).

However this may be slightly off-topic for an Entry on the Carnegie Libraries, as the post of County Librarian was a government appointment, though based in a Carnegie Library. The government in 1931 had disbanded Mayo County Council over its refusal to accept Miss Dunbar. its In 1981 Senator John A. Murphy said "the appropriate Minister at that time ... wanted to keep Miss Letitia Dunbar Harrison in office ... not because he was somehow inflamed with non-sectarian zeal but because he did not like the action of the Mayo County Council in suspending her. It was a government versus local government dispute rather than anything else."


A87764610 - Carnegie Libraries

Post 20

Recumbentman

Overall this project has a massive balance problem. It is going to be nigh impossible to balance the wealth of detail in one place with the dearth in another.

Of what value in the grand scheme of things, or even in the minor scheme of this Entry, is the statement "There is one in Fratton in Portsmouth"?


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