h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Why oh why don't people just do the right thing no matter how much emotional upheaval it causes? I didn't know my grandfather had died until I got a Christmas card only signed by my Nana. My older sister said 'Oh didn't you know he had died.' I still have no idea why my father didn't tell me maybe because we were over in Australia or because he was grieving....I'm in my thirties now and with my own children I am pretty upfront about everything...they usually listen then go off and get on with what they were doing before. What hurt me is that I wasn't important enough to be told,I assume they thought I had forgotten allabout my grandfather....I was ten!!!!

Vicky I was writing in sympathy and look I've ended up talking about myself....I am so sorry!

Sometimes you can find that looking through a window into other people's lives actually shows you are looking into a mirror. I am sure this, or similar stories, could be told 100 times over with little variation in them.

I feel sorry that you weren't told about your grandad.

I know what I would be like when mine dies. I dote on him and he is a wonderful man. I won't be devastated, I will be inconsolable.

Vicki
I understand what you're going through somewhat (except for the grandparent situation because I don't have any), but perhaps since they were such horrible poeple it would be better not to have contact with them at all?
The loss of a loved one is deep, deeper than anything else, but not knowing until you can't even..well that would be one of the worst things that I can think of. And then nothing from the others you had started trusting...It's just too much. You're stronger than many people are or ever could be. Don't let others walk all over you because people seem to inherrantly do that.

It's now a case of just accepting what has happened. I know I could go to the garden of rememberance to say my goodbye's but I don't think I want to now.

And as for not having contact with them anymore, I don't.

I have my family. My mum, my step-dad (who's the greatest!!), my sister, her husband and two sets of grand-parents (one of them step)and my fella of 9 years. Looking back I wish I hadn't made contact, but you can't turn back the clock.

Vicky

One of the greatest things we have in this life should be that we are allowed to make mistakes. Sometimes things are best left a bit raggedy and untidy cos by and large things tend to work out in the end.

I suppose you are right. I wish I had left things then I wouldn't have got hurt would I.

Never mind. The guys at h2g2 are great!! It feels really good to have such strong support from people I don't really know!!

Honey I am nearly always here. Yes,it is wierd how much support you get on h2 isn't it????

Some good advice too!!

I'm just beginning to understand that life isn't supposed to be perfect. Otherwise we wouldn't need to be here....Blimey I am in a good mood today!!!

Philosophical I'd say!!

Some one once told me that when I was in a good mood I would be a Therapist, but when I was in a bad mood I would be the one behind the counter at the DSS saying "NO YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY MONEY"!!

Someone once told me that there was a kindly old gentleman dressed in red with a white beard who liked children soo much he would leave them presents once a year if they were good...I'm good all the time now and I get jacks**e every christmas day. Whats that all about?

I guess some people just make up world-wide conspiracies to ruin people's lives?

The only thing to do is just get on with life!! No matter what happens (short of being run over by a bus) you usually cope.

The other thing to do is get pro-active....this year I was going to slog on with the second year of my degree lose more weight get ill with the worry of it all and always be telling my children 'not now I'm busy..'
Then I thought to myself'Why bother?'!!!! I've now gone back to income support I'm painting my house and if something doesn't seem like fun I won't do it!!!! The other thing I did was stop torturing myself about being in debt...I don't worry about money because it doesn't worry about me!

Very good attitude!!

The only thing is I'm not allowed to worry about money. My fella looks after the finances so I don't know if we are in debt or have £100,000 in the bank!!!!

I replied to this posting about twenty minutes ago-I am just beginning to get a tad paranoid.

Confused now!!