A Conversation for Katharine Hepburn - Actress

Peer Review: A8399316 - Katharine Hepburn - Actress

Post 1

Opticalillusion- media mynx life would be boring without hiccups

Entry: Katharine Hepburn - Actress - A8399316
Author: Opticalillusion- media mynx life would be boring without hiccups - U231227

Please feel free to comment on 'Katharine Hepburn - Actress'.


A8399316 - Katharine Hepburn - Actress

Post 2

lil ~ Auntie Giggles with added login ~ returned


>>Hepburn passed away on 29 June, 2003, at the age of 96, at the Hepburn family home in Old Saybrook, Connecticut. In honour of her extensive theatre work, the bright lights of Broadway were dimmed for an hour. George Bush was quoted as saying:

Katharine Hepburn delighted audiences with her unique talent for more than six decades, she was known for her intelligence and wit and will be remembered as one of the nation's artistic treasures.
- Katharine Hepburn<<


Katherine didn't say this, she was already dead smiley - erm


A8399316 - Katharine Hepburn - Actress

Post 3

Gnomon - time to move on

I wonder how they dimmed the lights. Streetlights are either on or off. They're not fitted with dimmers as there is no need for them. Or does it mean that the lights in the theatres were dimmed?


A8399316 - Katharine Hepburn - Actress

Post 4

Opticalillusion- media mynx life would be boring without hiccups

smiley - blushsmiley - ta Lil smiley - smiley

Gnomon is that a direct question that needs answering?


A8399316 - Katharine Hepburn - Actress

Post 5

Gnomon - time to move on

It's a question that needs researching, perhaps. It might have some bearing on the entry. If it was in fact the theatre lights that were dimmed, I think it should say so.


A8399316 - Katharine Hepburn - Actress

Post 6

U168592

I think it perhaps refers to the fact that the neon signs and so forth all along Broadway were not dimmed per se, but shut off for an hour so the street itself became 'dimmed'. But again, it needs researching factually, not just whacking in the word 'bright' so it reads different to the *wiki* Entry.


A8399316 - Katharine Hepburn - Actress

Post 7

Opticalillusion- media mynx life would be boring without hiccups

smiley - erm I state Broadway lights ...Broadway means theatreland right?


A8399316 - Katharine Hepburn - Actress

Post 8

Gnomon - time to move on

Yes, but it also means a particular street (or avenue?) in New York around which the theatreland is based.


A8399316 - Katharine Hepburn - Actress

Post 9

Gnomon - time to move on

It's only a minor thing, Opti. Don't let it take time from any other work you are doing.


A8399316 - Katharine Hepburn - Actress

Post 10

Icy North

Hi Opti smiley - smiley

Keep the Bios coming!

A few wording issues:



I think you could open with a more powerful sentence than this.



Which was the record: awards won, nominations or both? Was it for the Best Actress category only, or did it cover supporting actress and/or other awards too.



Did she 'smash' it (i.e. win a great deal more very quickly), or did she just overhaul KH's total?

< taught not to be afraid of anything>

You repeat this phrase - can you re-word this section?



This doesn't sound like independent thinking, put like that. How about 'she volunteered...'?



You repeat Broadway in quick succession here.



Recite isn't really the right word here - it means reading aloud or saying something from memory.



Again, I don't think 'they dealt with it' is correct here.


smiley - cheers Icy


A8399316 - Katharine Hepburn - Actress

Post 11

Opticalillusion- media mynx life would be boring without hiccups

smiley - ta Icy and Gnomon. I've made the corrections.


A8399316 - Katharine Hepburn - Actress

Post 12

Gnomon - time to move on

It's a good entry, Opti, although not very exciting. It reads a little too much like a list of her films.

Here are some minor corrections:

You have the word 'actresses' in both the first and second sentences. Change the second one to "they".

This woman was Katharine Hepburn -- since this is a couple of sentences away from the reference to "one lady", it is confusing. Change it to "The woman who brought about this change was Katherine Hepburn".

Dr. Thomas -- remove the full stop

"In childhood her parents instilled in her a number of personality traits that would hold with her throughout her lifetime. She was sporty, excelling at wrestling and gymnastics and was influenced very much by her parents." -- this doesn't hang together well. The second sentence talks about two different things which are not related to each other. I suggest you jig this around, putting the sport reference first, then combine the other two bits.

with children of the same age as her --> with children of her own age

but divorced in 1934 --> but they divorced in 1934

they responded by leaving the Broadway show The Lake and films she appeared in such as Break of Hearts (1935), Sylvia Scarlett (1935), Mary of Scotland (1936), Quality Street (1937) and Bringing Up Baby (1938) to flop -- there's a long way from "leaving" to "to flop". I'd lost track of what you were saying by then. I think it would be better as:

they responded with their feet, leaving ... to flop.

I think that reads better.

Dorothy Rothschild Parker -- she's normally known without the middle name

as thus -- you can't say that. Just put a colon after Lake and leave out the two words "as thus".

The curtain never fell on the last performance in 1939 due to her request. -- I'm sorry but I don't understand this. The phrase "The curtain fell on..." means the series of performances was brought to a conclusion. What does "the curtain never fell" mean?

who was unable to divorce his wife --> who was unwilling to divorce his wife

She was also said to be romantically linked to women too -- don't use "also" and "too" together.

The African Queen( -- put a space before the bracket.

"She also appeared in ..." -- you've three sentences in a row with "also" in them. Try not to use "also" all the time. It's not necessary. The same applies to the next paragraph.

In the Death section you've attributed the first quote to Hepburn herself, when she clearly did not say it.

at the Hepburn family home --> at the family home

the theatres on Broadway --> the Broadway theatres

Whereas Elizabeth Taylor said -- it's not a good idea to start a sentence with "Whereas". You don't need it anyway because Taylor is not contradicting Bush. Just leave it as:

Elizabeth Taylor said ...

smiley - smiley G





A8399316 - Katharine Hepburn - Actress

Post 13

Opticalillusion- media mynx life would be boring without hiccups

smiley - ta Gnomon ...I've sorted many of those out except for the list like structure, the word also and the sporty child bit.


A8399316 - Katharine Hepburn - Actress

Post 14

Opticalillusion- media mynx life would be boring without hiccups

Right those issues have been ironed out.


A8399316 - Katharine Hepburn - Actress

Post 15

Gnomon - time to move on

the key influencers --> the key influences

as a sign of remembrance to him -- "to" isn't the right word here. You could say:

as a sign of remembrance of him -- but the repition of "of" grates slightly. I think it would be better as:

as a sign of remembrance

married Ludlow Ogden Smith a stockbroker in 1928 --> married Ludlow Ogden Smith, a stockbroker, in 1928

hid them so tht --> hid them so that

Dorothy Parker, a writer and critic is noted for describing -- put a comma after critic

"When it came to love she put it first" -- I'm not sure about this sentence. It doesn't sound right. What does it mean to say "she put love first"?

a similar affect --> a similar effect


A8399316 - Katharine Hepburn - Actress

Post 16

Opticalillusion- media mynx life would be boring without hiccups

updated smiley - biro


A8399316 - Katharine Hepburn - Actress

Post 17

Galaxy Babe - eclectic editor

Opti it is usual for resubmissions to include a link to prior PR threads. Please remember to do this, thanks smiley - smiley

For the benefit of reviewers: F3329822?thread=1930821

GB
smiley - galaxy


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Post 18

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Congratulations - Your Entry has been Picked for the Edited Guide!

Post 19

Galaxy Babe - eclectic editor

smiley - applauseOptismiley - bubbly


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Picked for the Edited Guide!

Post 20

Icy North

smiley - applausesmiley - bubbly


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