A Conversation for h2g2 Philosopher's Guild Members Page

h2g2 Philosopher's Guild

Post 201

Researcher 185550

I'm not sure what the Nagasaki scissors are either.

I like the Wittgenstein thing though. My philosophy class did a presentation on Wittgentsein, it was rather chaotic.


h2g2 Philosopher's Guild

Post 202

Recumbentman

Well if Chaiwallah won't tell it I'll have to myself.

Big wrestling match, Dessie the Barreller against the Ninja Nightmare. Dessie's coach has told him that the Ninja Nightmare has a deadly hold called the Nagasaki Scissors, avoid it at all costs, if he gets you in that you're done for.

Fifth round and Dessie feels himself being trussed up like a chicken. Oh-oh, it's the Nagasaki Scissors! His head is hidden in a tangle of legs and bellies, he knows the ref can't see, so feeing a set of squashy genitals pushing against his mouth he decides to clamp his jaw round them and gives an almighty chew . . .

The crowd erupts as the Ninja Nightmare flies from the ring, describes a perfect parabola and alights in the balcony very much the worse for wear. Dessie is looking dazed and confused, but he's the clear winner!

Later his coach says, You know Dessie, when I saw him put the Nagasaki Scissors on you I thought you were a goner. How in the world did you get out of that?

Well says Dessie, my head was hidden in a tangle of legs and bellies, I knew the ref couldn't see, so feeing a set of squashy genitals pushing against my mouth I decided to clamp my jaw round them and give an almighty chew . . . and I'm telling you, it gives a man a terrible burst of energy when he bites his own b*llix.


h2g2 Philosopher's Guild

Post 203

Recumbentman

In reply to Dr Deckchair on Wittgenstein's persona --

Yes, I guess he was a little . . . serious. I'm being unnecessarily protective. There aren't many jokes in his biography, though he enjoyed writing silly postcards to his friends.

Looking at the stars one night with Norman Malcolm, he pointed out the constellation Cassiopeia and said that the W shape stood for Wittgenstein. Malcolm said he saw it as an M for Malcolm. Wittgenstein gravely informed him he was mistaken.

Bundle of laughs, eh, our Luddy! smiley - smileysmiley - laughsmiley - biggrinsmiley - tongueoutsmiley - sadfacesmiley - empty


h2g2 Philosopher's Guild

Post 204

chaiwallah


On the subject of Knock Knock jokes, here's a little French gem;

Frappe, frappe
Qui est la?
Lors t'ya
Lorstya qui?
smiley - nahnahsmiley - laughsmiley - online2longsmiley - cdouble
smiley - cheers
smiley - tea
smiley - anto


h2g2 Philosopher's Guild

Post 205

Dr Deckchair Funderlik

Ah, the Nagasaki Scissors, also known as the 'Full Pretzel' - twice as bad as the 'Half Pretzel'...

from the same source as:

'An elephant has s*** on Sauchiehall Street. Treat it as a roundabout'


h2g2 Philosopher's Guild

Post 206

Dr Deckchair Funderlik

<>

Understandable - but its just water of a duck's back isn't it? - I equally satirise those I admire and those I don't for just the same reason: they have their own strengths. In Wittgenstein's case, I couldn't even begin to quantify the intelligence of the man who wrote both the Tractatus and the Investigations.

Wittgenstein was never comfortable with those that followed him as admirers. He was constantly trying to release them from it. Ironic, then. that he has such a charismatic presence.


h2g2 Philosopher's Guild

Post 207

Patron Saint of Kittens... aka Pantherlady THE Werepanther of h2g2 and Queen of BBNs

I would like to join if thats ok... my philosophical phrase would be....
If everything is equally boring then everything is equally interesting.
smiley - cat


h2g2 Philosopher's Guild

Post 208

Recumbentman

Nice one. Welcome!smiley - ok


h2g2 Philosopher's Guild

Post 209

Patron Saint of Kittens... aka Pantherlady THE Werepanther of h2g2 and Queen of BBNs

Thank you! I shall inundate you with some bizarre ones... interested in why everything is a goat?


h2g2 Philosopher's Guild

Post 210

chaiwallah


Hi PSK aka Catwoman,

You may have noticed that this deeply philosophical phorum phlirts with jokes, understandably given that any philosopher devoid of a sense of humour isn't worth the paper he publishes on!

So, given that two identical entries on a mere two threads hardly constitutes "spamming" under the House Rules, I offer the following, which will also shortly appear over on the Rimickle thread, because it is a rimickle. smiley - smiley

Immanuel Kant's
Occasional rants
On his soap-box made folks think him mental
For insisting he'd two transcendental
Legs on his pants.

smiley - cheers
smiley - anto


h2g2 Philosopher's Guild

Post 211

Patron Saint of Kittens... aka Pantherlady THE Werepanther of h2g2 and Queen of BBNs

did I spam? oops. Sorry.... i figured id explain goats...
logical proof that everything is a goat
1. Clearly the opposite of everything is nothing
2. nothing is a goat is clearly wrong
3. therefore everything must be a goat

enjoy


h2g2 Philosopher's Guild

Post 212

Recumbentman

No, it was Chaiwallah who thought *he* was possibly guilty of cross-posting. Visit "Each Post a Rimickle" at F120626?thread=265158


h2g2 Philosopher's Guild

Post 213

chaiwallah


No, dear PSK, you didn't spam. I'm apologising in advance for quasi-spamming.

smiley - cheers
smiley - anto


h2g2 Philosopher's Guild

Post 214

Patron Saint of Kittens... aka Pantherlady THE Werepanther of h2g2 and Queen of BBNs

Oh... thats ok then. Thank you. Well, if you'd like another little thought before I go... stressed spelled backwards is desserts!


h2g2 Philosopher's Guild

Post 215

chaiwallah


Nice one! Does this imply that karma is inbuilt, so that stressed people, in reaping the fruits of their negative actions, are getting their just desserts?


h2g2 Philosopher's Guild

Post 216

Patron Saint of Kittens... aka Pantherlady THE Werepanther of h2g2 and Queen of BBNs

Id say it means what it wants to mean to you... how did you take it


h2g2 Philosopher's Guild

Post 217

Dr Deckchair Funderlik

I reckon it means, when you're stressed, eat a nice big dessert, like steamed pudding and custard. That then 'reverses' the stress. Works for me, anyway.

Few philosophers in history have tackled the subject of pudding. Aristotle might have mentioned sticky buns in a footnote somewhere. But that's all, I think.


h2g2 Philosopher's Guild

Post 218

Patron Saint of Kittens... aka Pantherlady THE Werepanther of h2g2 and Queen of BBNs

I like that thought. Think thats how id like it to be.


h2g2 Philosopher's Guild

Post 219

chaiwallah

On another philosophical note, if the pursuit of happiness is the philospher's quest, then we must now look forward to neuro-philosophy, much as we have had neuro-theology over on the "god" thread.

Neuroscientist Professor Richard Davidson of the Uni.of Wisconsin-Madison has shown that some people have brain activity "set" more to the left, some more to the right frontal cortex. Those "set" left tend to be happy, flexible, compassionate etc., those "set" right tend to be unhappy, angry, aggressive. Interestingly, he has found that this brain "set" can be changed, you've guessed it, through meditation. He has found that Tibetan Buddhist monks he's been studying have the highest left-set frontal cortices he's studied.( Big article Sunday Times May 25th.)

So there we are, philosophers. Take time out, sit in stillness, and happiness will come your way. After thirty-five years of meditation, I have to agree with him. After a couple of thousand years experience, most Buddhists would agree with him. After many thousands of years of experience, most yogis would agree with him. Be interested to be measured.

smiley - cheers


h2g2 Philosopher's Guild

Post 220

Dr Anthea - ah who needs to learn things... just google it!

*smiley - zen*


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