h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Set 'em up Joe!
This is the bar next door.
The other one's a little crowded.
And I've already checked the roof - drinks AREN'T on the house.

Crawls in, thirsty - wonders why that playful little dittie "The Pub's Got No Beer" is playing on the jukebox

That is cos we all are drinking real alcohol from our spouts. Here is yours Loony

Is there a fake alcohol?

Thanks Marv - starts singing "There's a spout in my pocket dear....."

Okay, fill up my !

When you live in Utah most beer is fake alcohol.

Having tasted American beer, I cannot argue with that at all Marv.

Even most American beer is stiff compared to what you can get in UT. Unless you are in a private club or a Liquor store all you can get is 3.2% alcohol by volume. Weak weasel piss in my book. Guiness is dreadfully expensive and hard to find. That is why I drink mostly Corona.

What, a new customer and the bartender isn't anywhere in sight? I'll go fix this.........

Bartender?
I thought this was a self serve bar.
Worked for me .

It is a self-serve bar, but The Wisest Fool is usually available to help out if you don't wish to get up off your stool

I have noted the conspicous (sp?) of TWF. Where's our bartender!

I don't mind voluteering for bar duty in his absence.
*hops over to the other side*
People, here's a little coctail I have recently grown addicted to.

Shot glass:
2/3 butterscotch schnapps
1/3 bailey's irish cream (floated on top)

Slam it down really quickly. Even better if you don't use hands.
I'm not usually one for the sweeter cocktails, but this isn't as sweet as it sounds. Just very VERY smooth.

I could give you the name of this little concoction, but the h2g2 police would have me out on my ear quicker than you could say 'My, that's a rather naughty name for a drink'.

Well around my neck of the woods we call it a Copper Camel. But I think I jnow what you are refering to.

There's a 'slow, comfortable screw against the wall' but I can't remember what's in it.

Hmmm... Can't remember what is in that, but I buy the ladies a screaming orgasm at the clubs, they seem to like them.

Well sure, when you don't have to pay for them......I'm assuming, of course

The drinks or the ladies?

Sweeden respectfully declines to answer.........