A Conversation for Talking Point: Write Your Own Obituary
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Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?
Clive the flying ostrich: Amateur Polymath | Chief Heretic. Started conversation Aug 31, 2002
Clive the flying ostrich was declared dead yesterday afternoon which came as quite a shock because he was merely taking a nap at the time.
Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?
Amy the Ant - High Manzanilla of the Church of the Stuffed Olive Posted Aug 31, 2002
Oh dear. What a shame. Did he leave a will? Has anyone got a claim on his 
?
Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?
Clive the flying ostrich: Amateur Polymath | Chief Heretic. Posted Aug 31, 2002
I feel like Doc Daneka in Catch - 22. 
But guys, I don't need to make a will. See? - I'm not dead - hey, guys? - Guys!...come back here, I'm not dead - listen to me! - hey!
Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?
Amy the Ant - High Manzanilla of the Church of the Stuffed Olive Posted Aug 31, 2002
*pokes the body*
And the feathers must be worth a bob or two...
Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?
Clive the flying ostrich: Amateur Polymath | Chief Heretic. Posted Aug 31, 2002
Hands off the plummage! 
What has a corpse got to do to get a little privacy round these parts?
I've not even cooled yet - there's not a trace of rigor mortis. I ask you, some people have no patience! More to the point how can you be a proper graver robber when I'm not even in my grave!!?
Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?
Amy the Ant - High Manzanilla of the Church of the Stuffed Olive Posted Aug 31, 2002
Can someone stick a label on that typing chair and computer desk for me? I wouldn't want the house clearance people to get those.
Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?
Clive the flying ostrich: Amateur Polymath | Chief Heretic. Posted Aug 31, 2002
Ha! I'm sitting in that chair, so over my dead body!
Arh! watch it - where are you going with, put me down! *oof! no! - it was a figure of speach you moron! arg!
Kinby rembove byor sif nine boot from ..my face thank you.
I'll just sit here and decompose at you - but try a stunt like that again and I'll bite your ankles.
Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?
Amy the Ant - High Manzanilla of the Church of the Stuffed Olive Posted Aug 31, 2002
*regards the corpse*
Even in death he's got an attitude problem!
Now, what're we doing with that pet shark? What did the glue factory say exactly?
Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?
Clive the flying ostrich: Amateur Polymath | Chief Heretic. Posted Aug 31, 2002
Oh while I think of it it his was an obituary of sorts gathered from my dad.
The London Smokeless Fires company burned down last night.
And nobody noticed.
Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?
Amy the Ant - High Manzanilla of the Church of the Stuffed Olive Posted Aug 31, 2002
Eh? Is that all they're offering? Well get back on the phone and ask what they'll give us for a moderately fresh ostrich.
Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?
Clive the flying ostrich: Amateur Polymath | Chief Heretic. Posted Aug 31, 2002
Hook me up to the generator - I'm makin' a comeback!
Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?
Amy the Ant - High Manzanilla of the Church of the Stuffed Olive Posted Aug 31, 2002
Well we can't let them know the truth...
*shakes head sadly*
Tell them he's of prime quality... we can argue about it later.
Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?
Clive the flying ostrich: Amateur Polymath | Chief Heretic. Posted Aug 31, 2002
How dreadful - I'm being auctioned to the lowest bidder. 
Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?
Amy the Ant - High Manzanilla of the Church of the Stuffed Olive Posted Sep 1, 2002
*covered in feathers*
I've done as much as I can here. Bag 'im up and put him out for the glue truck.
Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?
Purple Moose - He comes, he goes. But mainly the latter... Posted Sep 1, 2002
I want the royal procrastonation society, 5 pounds? 
Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?
Amy the Ant - High Manzanilla of the Church of the Stuffed Olive Posted Sep 1, 2002
I'm offered five pounds by the bidder with the antlers for the YPS. Do I hear ten? Will anyone get round to bidding ten pounds?
Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?
Vroomfindel (Royal Illogician and Disseminator of Nonsense) Posted Sep 4, 2002
Ha! I'll outbid everyone! Five tons! (of the finest quality gravel!)
Can I have the , too? Or just one of the tines? Pretty pretty please??
By the way, I'm really sorry; this is all my fault. They said in the voodoo class that the zombies would be totally obedient. Maybe I need to add some more nose of newt and ankle of chicken to the potion? I really want my money back!
Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?
Amy the Ant - High Manzanilla of the Church of the Stuffed Olive Posted Sep 4, 2002
*hides the *
? I don't know what you mean. I haven't seen one around here.
I'm bid a ton of gravel for the RPS, which sounds a bit decisive to me. Any advance on 1 ton of gravel?
Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?
Purple Moose - He comes, he goes. But mainly the latter... Posted Sep 4, 2002
1 ton of gravel and a lemon
Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?
Clive the flying ostrich: Amateur Polymath | Chief Heretic. Posted Sep 4, 2002
Going once...
Key: Complain about this post
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Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?
- 1: Clive the flying ostrich: Amateur Polymath | Chief Heretic. (Aug 31, 2002)
- 2: Amy the Ant - High Manzanilla of the Church of the Stuffed Olive (Aug 31, 2002)
- 3: Clive the flying ostrich: Amateur Polymath | Chief Heretic. (Aug 31, 2002)
- 4: Amy the Ant - High Manzanilla of the Church of the Stuffed Olive (Aug 31, 2002)
- 5: Clive the flying ostrich: Amateur Polymath | Chief Heretic. (Aug 31, 2002)
- 6: Amy the Ant - High Manzanilla of the Church of the Stuffed Olive (Aug 31, 2002)
- 7: Clive the flying ostrich: Amateur Polymath | Chief Heretic. (Aug 31, 2002)
- 8: Amy the Ant - High Manzanilla of the Church of the Stuffed Olive (Aug 31, 2002)
- 9: Clive the flying ostrich: Amateur Polymath | Chief Heretic. (Aug 31, 2002)
- 10: Amy the Ant - High Manzanilla of the Church of the Stuffed Olive (Aug 31, 2002)
- 11: Clive the flying ostrich: Amateur Polymath | Chief Heretic. (Aug 31, 2002)
- 12: Amy the Ant - High Manzanilla of the Church of the Stuffed Olive (Aug 31, 2002)
- 13: Clive the flying ostrich: Amateur Polymath | Chief Heretic. (Aug 31, 2002)
- 14: Amy the Ant - High Manzanilla of the Church of the Stuffed Olive (Sep 1, 2002)
- 15: Purple Moose - He comes, he goes. But mainly the latter... (Sep 1, 2002)
- 16: Amy the Ant - High Manzanilla of the Church of the Stuffed Olive (Sep 1, 2002)
- 17: Vroomfindel (Royal Illogician and Disseminator of Nonsense) (Sep 4, 2002)
- 18: Amy the Ant - High Manzanilla of the Church of the Stuffed Olive (Sep 4, 2002)
- 19: Purple Moose - He comes, he goes. But mainly the latter... (Sep 4, 2002)
- 20: Clive the flying ostrich: Amateur Polymath | Chief Heretic. (Sep 4, 2002)
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