A Conversation for Talking Point: Write Your Own Obituary

Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?

Post 1

Clive the flying ostrich: Amateur Polymath | Chief Heretic.

Clive the flying ostrich was declared dead yesterday afternoon which came as quite a shock because he was merely taking a nap at the time.


smiley - zzz


Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?

Post 2

Amy the Ant - High Manzanilla of the Church of the Stuffed Olive

Oh dear. What a shame. Did he leave a will? Has anyone got a claim on his smiley - spork?


Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?

Post 3

Clive the flying ostrich: Amateur Polymath | Chief Heretic.

I feel like Doc Daneka in Catch - 22. smiley - erm

But guys, I don't need to make a will. See? - I'm not dead - hey, guys? - Guys!...come back here, I'm not dead - listen to me! - hey!

smiley - run


Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?

Post 4

Amy the Ant - High Manzanilla of the Church of the Stuffed Olive

*pokes the body*

And the feathers must be worth a bob or two...


Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?

Post 5

Clive the flying ostrich: Amateur Polymath | Chief Heretic.

Hands off the plummage! smiley - cross

What has a corpse got to do to get a little privacy round these parts?
I've not even cooled yet - there's not a trace of rigor mortis. I ask you, some people have no patience! More to the point how can you be a proper graver robber when I'm not even in my grave!!?


Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?

Post 6

Amy the Ant - High Manzanilla of the Church of the Stuffed Olive


Can someone stick a label on that typing chair and computer desk for me? I wouldn't want the house clearance people to get those.


Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?

Post 7

Clive the flying ostrich: Amateur Polymath | Chief Heretic.

Ha! I'm sitting in that chair, so over my dead body!

Arh! watch it - where are you going with, put me down! *oof! no! - it was a figure of speach you moron! arg!

Kinby rembove byor sif nine boot from ..my face thank you.

I'll just sit here and decompose at you - but try a stunt like that again and I'll bite your ankles.


Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?

Post 8

Amy the Ant - High Manzanilla of the Church of the Stuffed Olive

*regards the corpse*

Even in death he's got an attitude problem!

Now, what're we doing with that pet shark? What did the glue factory say exactly?


Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?

Post 9

Clive the flying ostrich: Amateur Polymath | Chief Heretic.

Oh while I think of it it his was an obituary of sorts gathered from my dad.

The London Smokeless Fires company burned down last night.

And nobody noticed.


Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?

Post 10

Amy the Ant - High Manzanilla of the Church of the Stuffed Olive

Eh? Is that all they're offering? Well get back on the phone and ask what they'll give us for a moderately fresh ostrich.


Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?

Post 11

Clive the flying ostrich: Amateur Polymath | Chief Heretic.

Hook me up to the generator - I'm makin' a comeback!


Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?

Post 12

Amy the Ant - High Manzanilla of the Church of the Stuffed Olive

smiley - crossWell we can't let them know the truth...

*shakes head sadly*

Tell them he's of prime quality... we can argue about it later.


Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?

Post 13

Clive the flying ostrich: Amateur Polymath | Chief Heretic.

How dreadful - I'm being auctioned to the lowest bidder. smiley - sadface


Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?

Post 14

Amy the Ant - High Manzanilla of the Church of the Stuffed Olive


*covered in feathers*

I've done as much as I can here. Bag 'im up and put him out for the glue truck.


Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?

Post 15

Purple Moose - He comes, he goes. But mainly the latter...

I want the royal procrastonation society, 5 pounds? smiley - biggrin
smiley - reindeer


Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?

Post 16

Amy the Ant - High Manzanilla of the Church of the Stuffed Olive

I'm offered five pounds by the bidder with the antlers for the YPS. Do I hear ten? Will anyone get round to bidding ten pounds?


Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?

Post 17

Vroomfindel (Royal Illogician and Disseminator of Nonsense)

Ha! I'll outbid everyone! Five tons! (of the finest quality gravel!)
Can I have the smiley - spork, too? Or just one of the tines? Pretty pretty please??

By the way, I'm really sorry; this is all my fault. They said in the voodoo class that the zombies would be totally obedient. Maybe I need to add some more nose of newt and ankle of chicken to the potion? I really want my money back!


Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?

Post 18

Amy the Ant - High Manzanilla of the Church of the Stuffed Olive

*hides the smiley - spork*

smiley - spork? I don't know what you mean. I haven't seen one around here.

I'm bid a ton of gravel for the RPS, which sounds a bit decisive to me. Any advance on 1 ton of gravel?


Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?

Post 19

Purple Moose - He comes, he goes. But mainly the latter...

1 ton of gravel and a lemon
smiley - reindeer


Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?

Post 20

Clive the flying ostrich: Amateur Polymath | Chief Heretic.

Going once...


Key: Complain about this post

Don't you guys ever check for a pulse!!?

Write an Entry

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."

Write an entry
Read more