h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Today we put to rest one of the most prolific people of our generation. We're not quite sure what she did - she tended not to stick to one thing, believing that life was too short for anything but temporary commitments - but we're pretty sure that it was prolific and she will be studied by tenth grade school children one day. She wasn't a smoker - except when the craving for a cigarette drove her to distraction. A non-drinker, but had to have a double southern comfort and lemonade ten minutes before dinner. She despised pseudo-intellectuals but always joined then for coffee on wednesday nights to read them her poetry. We shall miss her dearly, though she may not have done the same for us because loving us hurt too much. She died a youngman's death, dancing to afro-funk jazz, drunk on white russians and singing the blues while smoking a vanilla cigar, having sacrificed caution at the age of eightteen.