h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh no! Mvp, how could you do this to me?! Trapped in time and fate! I might have guessed the outcome of course. There was a warning when you wrote about the colleague who never returned from the Jurassic, even though the time-machine had been recalled. And then there was the twist, when my own cold wave of realisation washed over me, when you wrote about how you could control the time into which you travelled .. (or is it traveled .. one L or two? hmm).... but not your place in society. Hah!

And then, of course, in the coal store there was nothing but blackness. .... dot dot dot. Oh no!

Well, it has certainly affected me - you authoress of the dark thriller you. Are you planning a sequel? Please? . Perhaps I am just being romantic. Or perhaps I shall have to travel to the Jurassic coast (we live nearby ) and try to find the ghost of your colleague in the rocks and fossils. . However, I'm not travelling to those awful sounding Victorian times to rescue any character. . You're on your own, kid. .



Does it affect your daily life when your characters come to a sticky end? I think it would affect me. I'd get obsessed, and pace the room, until I could somehow re-write their destiny . hmm. Probably why I'm not a novelist. .

H

Thanks cactuscafe.

Actually, I don't think the Victorian era would have been much fun, even for a lady. They didn't have the freedom to do the sort of things I've done: studying, working, travelling independently.

As far as sticky ends go, I had this sort of superstition that it would be bad luck to create a character based on a real person and kill them off. Wouldn't it be awful if that person then died?

So, of course, I developed that idea into a story: The Writer and the Devil -A32938004

Like cactuscafe, I want a sequel. I want the whole story.

I thought it was funny that we both had the same idea that although *we* knew we were tourists, the people in the past wouldn't know. It's why I never started my tour, coward that I am.

A sequel?

I'm not sure how I'd get my character out of being a scullery maid. I'm sure that's how I'd end up if I tried time travelling.

Didn't you write up your piece, Bel? I would be interested to see it.

Thanks, mvp. I really wouldn't know which time to choose. Plus, I lack imagination. I think I'm OK with essays, but fiction is best written by others.

The Writer and the Devil?

The Writer and the Devil????

See, I knew you were a writer of dark thrillers.

Could you print that A number again please MVP so's it comes up in blue? I can't miss this one! Or I guess I could just search your Guide Entries?

H

A32938004

Next time, highlight the number. With the letter A - blue, not scarlet. Hit CTRL + c to copy this number.

Then move your cursor to the url line.

Erase everything after the word 'brunel/' (or whatever skin you're using).

Leaving the cursor there, hit CTRL + v to paste this number.

Then hit Enter.

With any luck, you will go to the entry.

*twiddles thumbs and waits for the next question*

hah! got the A got the A the blue number way. hurrumph. OK, next question ... is ....

wait .. what?? sorry .. just read the first paragraph of The Writer and the Devil .... ... (I come from there). This looks most interesting, mvp. . My soul just got taken. Hmm. think I shall read it in the clear light of day .

H

Now 'tis the clear light of day.

Good morning world.

And oh oh oh oh oh! And I am involved with Hilda Fustian. And I know what you mean, mvp, about the dark wave of the South Downs. That is how they sometimes look, in silhouette. And next time I am walking out there, saying hullo to the Long Man of Wilmington as I pass, , , I will ask him to protect me from passing charismatic people with strange eyes. mmm. He does sound rather attractive though ... no! no! enough!

All very psychological. I love it. I'm glad I'm not a novelist, although, at the rate I'm going, I might wake up one day and find that I have become one. hmm. . no! no!

Hey Bel and all. These South Downs of which we speak are chalk hills that run along part of the South East coast of England. They are very magical and there is a very ancient chalk figure carved into them, called The Long Man of Wilmington, but no-one knows his origins.

Hills are interesting. I think I might go and study hills, and hill carvings. This way I won't become obsessed with characters in stories And then I have to go study fossils, because I have to go to the Jurassic coast to search for mvp's other character.

????

I love all those chalk carvings. There's the Uffintdon White Horse A14331106 and the Cerne Abbas Giant A16407533, and there is a chalk carving at Folkestone, too (another horse, but I don't know how old that is).

I just looked it up: it's only ten years old, but I've seen it, and I was impressed.

hey Bel . Wow! There is so much knowledge stored here on h2g2 isn't there? You write for the Edited Guide don't you? In fact I think you all do, those here assembled on this thread, and all the other threads in fact. . I would love to write for the EG, but I will have to wait till next time around , when I have ordered a different kind of brain.

What an archive! An online encyclopedia, and kind of like a university also. There should be some books made from the EG articles. Lovely quality shiny books, that smell nice.

me and my books. cue DG to tease me ...

You know, I have never heard of the Folkestone White Horse. How extraordinary. What a beautiful carving. Very flowing lines, like a dancing horse. Actually I had never heard of the Uffington horse either. I know of Mr Abbas in all his glory. .

Of course, you have the Black Forest mountains. Are they mountains? When I was a kid, my Dad took us to the Black Forest region, but I can't remember much about the topography because it was a while back now. I remember having picnics in incredible woodland, and my Dad and older brother eating ? sausage, which they loved.

It is a marvellous world really, isn't it, despite all the pain and suffering.

H

The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Dead Horses (invented by Arthur Koestler) prevents me from making any further statements about the romanticism of smelling books.

But synchronicity has struck: Elektra and I were just discussing Goethe's 'Faust', and you mentioned the Black Forest, home of cakes and other mysteries.

So I offer this link to an EG entry: A5288583

Ages ago, I stood looking at the castle and said to myself, 'Aha! Mad scientists are all the same.'

There is a healing well near there, and a town called 'Egg', pronounced 'Eck'. Fun place

Here's the castle in Staufen:

http://img.fotocommunity.com/photos/17507526.jpg

There you go see? what did I tell you. . Re s. And Mister G. Hey Mister G .

hmm

Hah! Synchronicity! And splendour also, because now I just started to travel through the Black Forest, home of cakes and other mysteries, and all from home. That healing well sounds interesting. Need to know more.

Marvellous EG article. This Edited Guide is becoming a bit of a trusted entity for me - I can talk to it at nights and it sometimes answers. . I find it to be very quality - especially as the articles have been through all that rigorous editing process. More than just an encyclopedia - the articles have an artistic kind of a flow. What? Interesting writing, that's what I'm trying to say.

More like magazine articles. hah! yes. Nice shiny magazines that smell nice. . And here, of course. ahem.

Like, for example, I think about Liquorice Allsorts - serious I do -and wonder about their history etc - so I just decided to search h2g2 Liquorice Allsorts and lo! the Edited Guide speaks to me.

And sometimes I get more than I am looking for - like I search h2g2 Harlequin Clown (another fascination of mine) and lo! the EG speaks to me in a few ways, re Harlequin. So I go on a learning journey with unusual turns.

So then I search h2g2 Black Forest, looking for the healing well,and this entire conversation comes up, but hey, erm, that's different, and non-edited, but I think I might go silent anyway because now I am shy. .

And all from mvp's travel piece into Victorian times - via the dark wave of the South Downs, via lots of other things. Conversations are like journeys aren't they.



OK.

Goodnight. Even though its morning.

Conversations on h2g2 threads are like journeys.

The kind where the participants complain about the weather, and wonder who remembered to bring the snacks, and hold the maps upside down, and synchronise their watches - but somebody stops to explain what the word 'analog' means, and discourses on the history of watchmaking - and head off in different directions, shout to each other, finally reassamble, and all end up in another county, but somebody pulls out a bus schedule.

(tiptoes in)

..

....and sometimes you find some yellow-gold on the track, , and you follow them, even though you don't know where they are leading, past the -shop, and the -shop, and you stop for a picnic of s and s and s beside the strange shining lake of your mind, where thought-shapes swim like and and through the tides of circumstance, and you think about your life, and you think about s and you think about s (no! don't mention spi....... OK ...) and the lead on ...

and ......

(tiptoes out)

You'd better tiptoe, with that lot.

I wish my mind was a 'strange shining lake'.

It's usually more of a blank piece of paper.

Mine is a mountain brook...it babbles...it meanders...it has trout in...

Mine is more of an algae coated millpond ---kinda scummy!