h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

can i have a big duoble-headed axe with blades carved with gentle swirls and a long oak shaft engraved with runes carved by Väinämöinen himself?

or are you out of stock too?

Hmmmmm, I can get one for you but to be honest I specialise in Swords and you'd only pay me a mark-up. I do have another contact around here somewhere from a pamphlet the H2G2 Weapon Sellers Guild sent me.

*rummages in files for a bit*

Ahah ! Here it is .... the Supervillains weapon shop F71367?thread=133744. Run by one Darth Curvaceous - an unusual entity who can get most things for you at a decent price.

If you don't get satisfaction there try a little emporium located in the H2G2 Space Centre which sells "Unusual Artifacts and Other Oddities" They say the do the "best deals in H2G2" and have "Stuff from all corners of the Galaxy". They're at F35868?thread=269818

Are you sure I can't interest you in a nice sword ..... I have some good ones ?

Darn ! The unusual artifacts shop has moved to A2042533

so *you* were the "nice guy" down at the weapons shop!

true enough

But no axes? well i'm very dissapointed. i guess a sword would be okay... have you got any with futhark runes on?

sorry terryterry my little joke

I do have a number of Nordic swords in the collection at A762374 such as the flaming sword Laevateinn which makes it's wielder invincible but also takes away a bit of the fun at the same time. Would suit anyone that likes to cheat at games I'd hazard a guess . Luckily Laevateinn's nature is such that it may only be hired out to divine beings (or italics) so you'd qualify.

Tyrfing is also available which is a fine, massive broadsword in a golden scabbard inscribed with the deeds of the old gods so is very likely to have some form of runic inscription. Tyrfing will never miss its stroke, never rust, and is able to cut through iron and stone as easily as cloth. Trouble is that as soon as it leaves it's scabbard it immediately kills somebody which is not that desireable a quality unless you really mean business.

Have you thought about any of the blades at A762338 ..... they were forged by Vulcan and are very attractive and desireable blades ?

i'll have the Tyrfing please. It's got a good history and it sure beats carryibg a can of mace!

can you put it on my tab?

Consider Tyrfing yours then. Just note the small print in the agreement about returning it on demand, clean of gore and not crying about it if it all goes dreadfully wrong