Meet Mr Inquisitor [Redux]

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Meet Mr Inquisitor [Redux]

Hello everybody and welcome to the new and improved Meet Mr Inquisitor with everybody's favourite bit-player Psycorp603 taking on the mantle of the sculptured question master.

In a role-reversal of the last installment, my guest this week is 24 Lies A Second columnist, and the first Mr I, the one and only Awix.


Right then, let's get Meet Mr Inquisitor [Redux] underway. First question Awix, how does it feel to be replaced by a younger, better looking, more charismatic and more ambitious researcher in this fine column, which is guaranteed to be much more popular now?

I'll let you know if and when it happens.

Ahh, touché. Well, readers of your columns, specifically '24 Lies' will know your area of expertise is in films, and reviewing them. Do you have a favourite film that you'd like to review for The Post at a future date?

Aha, thought we might get that one. Er, well, lots of films I'd like to talk about... but I try to keep the emphasis on current films because that's what people will most likely be interested in. I've started popping golden oldie reviews back into the mix simply because it's a nice change of pace but I at least try to ensure there's some sort of reason for them to be there, usually because they're topical...

Having said all that, films I'd really like an excuse to talk about. Paul Anderson's Magnolia. Terry Gilliam's Brazil. (Both fantastic beyond reason.) I saw a French film called Monsieur Hire about ten years ago which just blew me away but I've no idea where to find a copy. Kurosawa's Seven Samurai, probably the greatest action movie ever made. And sticking with Toho Studios, it's always fun (for me anyway) to write about Japanese monster movies, partly because I love them, and partly as a sort of tribute to Stomp Tokyo, the website which basically inspired 24LAS.

Well, seeing as you brought up Japanese monster movies, it's time for my first seamless merger. With the Godzilla remake being seen as not a patch on the original, do you think Peter Jackson will be able to follow up LotR with his remake of King Kong?

I think Jacko will benefit from the George Lazenby factor - which is to say that just as Roger Moore got an easier ride from critics when he took over as James Bond simply because anyone would be an improvement over Lazenby, so Jacko's Kong will be spared some of the flak it could draw simply because people will say 'Hey, at least it's better than the De Laurentiis version.' (Although I seem to be the only person in the world who thinks the 1976 King Kong was actually just a fun romp.)

Doing it as a period piece sounds wise, and if anyone can sell an 120-foot ape to a modern audience it's Weta Digital. Although this is Jackson's 'dream project' - and those tend to have a patchy track record.

Well, Jackson seems to be able to do no wrong at the moment, although the Lazenby link there could doom him... So, you're from Blackpool, the Vegas of the Northwest. Funnily enough I'm going there over Easter with my mates. Any tips on where to go and what to do to have a laugh round your way?

I should say I'm from *near* Blackpool, my family come from there and it's the nearest town, but I've never lived or worked there myself. And I tend not to go out there too much (except to the rather nice multiplex) mainly because after dark it's usually a zoo-stroke-hellhole full of tourists behaving like the infected from 28 Days Later.

No offence intended, by the way...

So my advice would be learn how to duck and always travel in numbers. There are some nice pubs and bars, but I've no idea what they're called. Enjoy your visit.

No Offence taken. On your Personal Space, you refer to the ever evasive HPB as 'Jar-Jar
Binks to [your] Obi Wan Kenobi'. Does that mean you would be able to make a better job of quashing the rebellions in the Jedi Academy game than him? And do you think that Star Wars Episode III will be the crowning triumph of the saga, or defining proof that the prequels are not fit to bear the Star Wars prefix.

Hmm, well, I suppose one way to guarantee feedback to any Post article is to mention1 HPB in it...

I have no idea about the Jedi Academy game thing. The line to which you refer basically aludes to the fact that... hang on, I'm not going to just sit here and trash-talk HPB for you! When all is said and done the fellow is mostly harmless and does a lot for the community, in his own special way.

I will quite happily put the boot into the Star Wars prequels for you
though... I think if you're going to get sniffy about the 'Star Wars prefix' then you should start by looking at things like the Holiday Special, the 80s cartoons, and Return of the Jedi2, a movie which exists in its current form only because George Lucas got bored of the series and chucked out his original plans for the third film (basically, a different ending, Han died, and Luke's sister was a completely new character - according to Gary Kurtz,anyway).

With hindsight you could have seen that the prequels were going to
disappoint. To be honest I enjoyed Phantom a lot more than Clones, as you can tell if you read the reviews (plug plug). But the thing that often happens with this sort of revival is that the makers are hamstrung by this perceived need to be seen to be making 'proper' whatever-it-is, usually resulting in a retro style. I'm thinking here of things like Carry On Columbus, which was made in this deliberately old-fashioned style which the original Carry On films weren't... I mean, the style they were made in looks old-fashioned now, but I bet none of them looked instantly 15 years out of date the moment they were released, the way Carry On Columbus did.

Once you stop making that kind of series it's very difficult to start up again without descending into pastiche or self-parody. The Bond films managed it, although there was only a six year gap in that instance. Hopefully the new series of Doctor Who (which I suspect we'll be coming to in a minute, seeing as you've already asked about everything else on my U-space) will manage it, too...

Looks like my cunning plan to get you to badmouth HPB failed. Still, maybe next week. My spider-sense tells me you'd like to say something about the new Doctor Who in the pipeline. But aside from that, what's so appealing about Doctor Who? My memories of it are wobbly cardboard sets, Blue Peter made Daleks and a lunatic in a scarf.

I'm not *especially* bothered about talking about Doctor Who. And I'm
entirely aware that it's basically just a tatty kid's show. Then again, you could probably make a case for Star Wars being crypto-fascist derivative juvenilia which had a massive negative effect on mainstream American cinema.

The world don't move to the beat of just one drum...

Well, in that case we'll move on to the final question, one I blatantly nicked from you: what's the most important thing you've learned through being a member of h2g2?

More a reminder than something I've learned per se, but it's still very important:

Writing makes me happy.


Thanks there to Awix, who not only let me steal his Post column, but
interview him and make fun of Doctor Who. If you want to get on your soapbox, put up with my irritatingly erratic questioning, or even if you just want to send me hate mail, contact me via the infinitely patient shazz.

Until then, I've been (a much better3) Mr Inquisitor - Au Revoir!


with Awix

01.04.04 Front Page

Back Issue Page

1Or slag off, which is my new tactic, Psyc.2A film which was described by Weird Al Yankovic as a 'film full of muppets. Sorry, that's a Manc joke. Psyc.3That remains to be seen and proved Psycorp smiley - winkeye... ed

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