A Conversation for Touching Out There

Alternative Writing Workshop: A719714 - Touching Out There

Post 1

Mrs Zen

Entry: Touching Out There - A719714
Author: ... sitting on the stair ... - U187744

Another good one which I think deserves to be read by more people, if only by the miners.

Hi ho.


A719714 - Touching Out There

Post 2

Sitting on the stair

erm, bump, from the depths of the mine.

I've tinkered with this to try to make the three pieces connect better and work better for readers as opposed to the kind of journal record they started out as. I'd like to know whether they do for other people or just in my imagination.

And whether there's any sense apparent in them. In my head they connect, and I know why, but it's hard to express. It might be too obscure, or just plain irrational - opinions would be appreciated.

A719714 - Touching Out There

Post 3


Obscure, hardly. Irrational, only if all of nature is irrational. I think this is extraordinary and, if it were mine to tinker with, I wouldn't.

Please don't try to to 'connect the dots' any more than they are connected already by the style, the continuity of content, and the simple 'out-thereness' of it all.

This was a pleasure to read. Thank you.

smiley - magic

A719714 - Touching Out There

Post 4

Sitting on the stair

Thanks m.

I think the tinkering I did worked out then. Difficult when you take this long writing something, to see what's on the page and what's in the context in your own head. The more so when what's behind it has been in your head as long as you can remember and you can't quite imagine it being any other way.

Nature irrational? There's a thought. An irrational universe... it goes against instinct, but it does sometimes seem so.

Thanks again for your comments, really appreciated. I'll go and blow the dust off, and join some dots on, something else that's overdue.

A719714 - Touching Out There

Post 5

Mrs Zen

I didn't know you'd had a stint in Africa, but then - what do I ever know?

Odd that I'd forgotten reading this, all but the last line, which suggests to me that the thought is the really strong thing in this piece. It is not let down by any of the rest of it, but the thought is the thing that's strong.

I think this is definitely pickable. Any miners out there going to do the decent thing?


A719714 - Touching Out There

Post 6


The 'decent thing'? Hardly! Our job is to only pick the brightest of gems, those which possess, well you know as you wrote the criteria.

And this piece fits that self same mission statement in oh so many ways. A series of memories shared, it evokes feeling, real heartfelt emotion, the kind of thing impossible to fake and thus making it ever more so special an experience for the reader.

So it won't be the decent thing but instead the right thing to do, and that is as it should be as it deserves no less. Thank for bringing it to light B, and thank you 'mysterious stranger' who sits on stairs for writing it.

Spynxxxsmiley - fullmoon

A719714 - Touching Out There

Post 7

UnderGuide Editors

Congratulations smiley - bubblysmiley - smiley. This entry has been selected from the Alternative Writing Workshop and accepted for the <./>underguide</.>

An UnderGuide Gem Polisher will be in touch for any final revisions or tweakings for a UG copy of the entry to be featured on h2g2's Front Page.

Congrats again, and thank you for contributing here.

A719714 - Touching Out There

Post 8


A most fitting and well deserved entry, congratulations smiley - bubbly

A719714 - Touching Out There

Post 9

Sitting on the stair

Thanks spynxxx smiley - smiley.

Ben, the stint in Africa was Kenya 0 to 6, and Zimbabwe 11 to 17. Half a growing up really.

Btw, this ought really to be removed from the AWW now but that bug that means only the person who submitted it can take it out is still bugging the AWW.

A719714 - Touching Out There

Post 10

Mrs Zen

'tis done.


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