Silly names and how to pick them

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I don't claim to have made this up, but my friend who sent it to me isn't a member, so...

Remember that children laugh an average of 146 times a day; adults laugh an average of 4 times a day. Put more laughs in your day.
Sometimes when you have a stressful day or week, you need some silliness to break up the day.

Follow the instructions to find your new name. Don't go all adult - a senior manager of a major international drugs company is now known far and wide as Dorky Gizzardsniffer.

1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:
a = snickle
b = doombah
c = goober
d = cheesey
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = dumbo
h = farcus
i = dorky
j = doofus
k = funky
l = boobie
m = sleezy
n = sloopy
o = fluffy
p = stinky
q = slimy
r = dorfus
s = snooty
t = tootsie
u = dipsy
v = sneezy
w = liver
x = skippy
y = dinky
z = zippy

2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:
a = dippin
b = feather
c = batty
d = burger
e = chicken
f = barffy
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = farkle
j = monkey
k = flippin
l = fricken
m = bubble
n = rhino
o = potty
p = hamster
q = buckle
r = gizzard
s = lickin
t = snickle
u = chuckle
v = pickle
w = hubble
x = dingle
y = gorilla
z = girdle

3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:
a = butt
b = boob
c = face
d = nose
e = hump
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = head
l = tush
m = chunks
n = dunkin
o = brains
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = doodle
s = frack
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = ass
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = hiney
z = juice

Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is Fluffy Chucklefrack.
And remember that children laugh an average of 146 times a day; adults laugh an average of 4 times a day. Put more laughs in your day.

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