A Conversation for Waves

Alternative Writing Workshop: A640973 - Waves

Post 1

EcoTony

Entry: Waves - A640973
Author: EcoTony - U181204

thoughts?


A640973 - Waves

Post 2

Dmitri Gheorgheni - Not Banned in China

My thought is that this is a fine outline for a PR entry.

Anybody else?


A640973 - Waves

Post 3

Vip

Indeed. I'll need five minutes to rub together to go through this with my Reviewer hat on, but I'll try to get around to it when I can. smiley - smiley

smiley - fairy


A640973 - Waves

Post 4

Vip

Hiya EcoTony,

smiley - biro"Think of the air as liquid, as water."
--> This actually confuses me more than just imagining it as air. It would be interesting to see what other people think. If you stick with using water, the terms 'high water' and 'low water' usually refer to tides, not water pressure, so it would be best to use 'high pressure' and 'low pressure' instead to prevent confusion.

smiley - biroIt might also be worth pointing out that wind creates waves, but doesn't influence the tides fo those of us who take a moment to seperate those in our heads. smiley - blush

smiley - biro"wind velocity, wind duration and wind fetch. The harder the wind blows, the longer the time it blows and the greater the distance it blows, the bigger the waves."
--> You are comparing the two sentences here, but what you are comparing doesn't always match up. You've written:

wind velocity - the longer the time it blows (velocity =/= time)
wind duration - the greater the distance it blows (time =/= distance)
wind fetch - the bigger the waves (don't know what wind fetch is, so I can't compare, sorry!)

If you don't mean for these sentences to be comparable, you will need to re-write them so they don't echo the structure of each other. Writing definitions for each one would help (especially wind fetch, as I have no idea what that means! smiley - smiley).

smiley - biro


A640973 - Waves

Post 5

Vip

Sorry, I posted by mistake. To continue:

smiley - biro"Various waves of different heights, directions and swell periods turn the ocean surface into a chaotic mess. This is the wave spectrum."
--> From this I get that a wave spectrum is what you call an area of ocean when lots of waves interfere with each other. Is this what you mean? To a layman this isn't clear, but, being a layman, I'm not sure what to suggest to improve it, sorry.

smiley - biro"Once these longer period waves break free from the storm's confusion, they are easily identified as a more organized wave train..."
--> wave train? Is that a technical term (in which case a definition might be needed) or a descriptive term? EDIT: I've found your definition, down in point 2. It would be useful to have it up here in the first instance of the term instead.

smiley - biro"Most surfers look at waves from a two-dimensional perspective: wave height and direction."
--> Ah, so is this article designed to help surfers? If so, it might be nice to have this as part of the opening paragraph to give the reader an idea of why this knowledge is important. smiley - smiley

smiley - biroThe numbered sections in this bit make sense by-and-large, but what I (personally) feel is lacking in this is a reason for them being included. For example, why should a surfer be able to work out the wave speed? In some of them you have made a start on this but I would be interested to find out more. smiley - smiley

smiley - fairyLOLA? Is this a high-tech aid for surfers, or something else?

smiley - fairyWhat does the term 'wrap' mean in a surfing context?

smiley - fairyFinally, and I stress this is a personal note, I like having a final paragraph that wraps up why this information is useful and exciting (being better able to predict the waves that will be the most exciting to ride, smiley - surfer I assume).

It was interesting to read and I look forward to seeing this in Peer Review when you are able to move it over there. Let me know if you need help to move review forums.

Vip
smiley - fairy


A640973 - Waves

Post 6

Bluebottle

I'd like to propose this for Flea Market.

<BB<


A640973 - Waves

Post 7

Dmitri Gheorgheni - Not Banned in China

I agree - that would be a good choice. smiley - smiley


A640973 - Waves

Post 8

SashaQ - happysad

smiley - ok


A640973 - Waves

Post 9

Vip

Fingers crossed a surfer can pick this up and polish it up. smiley - smiley

smiley - fairy


Key: Complain about this post

Write an Entry

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."

Write an entry
Read more