The below is not based on the legal road rules in Thailand, nor is it intended to be taken as a serious entry, although it does attempt to provide a some practical advice on driving in Bangkok. ¹ No malice of any kind is intended toward Bangkok, Thailand, the Thai people and culture, nor to any living thing or inanimate object by this entry.

Indeed there are. A search of the net will provide detail of the real road rules. However any such search which suggests these rules are adhered to most of the time by most of the road users should be treated with some scepticism.².

1. A broken line across the road is a "Give Way" sign. ³

A broken line across the road is an indication that other traffic will attempt to interrupt your right of way (or left of way, or complete U-turn). Under no circumstances should you allow them to do so unless

i. They are significantly bigger than you.

ii. You have an expensive new car and they have a tank.

iii. They are in an an official vehicle.

or

iv. You are a wimp, a tourist, or believe in courteous driving.


(If "iv." applies to you , consider this article a list of reasons not to drive in Bangkok.)


2. A solid line across the road is a "STOP" sign.⁴

See 1.

3. A red traffic light indicates you must stop.

A red traffic light indicates you should stop if you believe either


i. There is a traffic camera AND the vehicle is licensed in your name.


ii. The flow of oncoming traffic is sufficient to impede your exit from the junction (or crush you to a pulp).

iii. It is a rail crossing and the train is very close to the junction.

iv. You are a wimp, a tourist, or believe in safe driving.

4. Motorbikes can only carry one or two persons.

Motorbikes can carry as many people and/or things which can sit, stand, or be attached by any other means
⁵.

5. Motorbike riders and passengers all wear crash helmets.⁶.

A very few motorbike drivers wear what apper to a cross between a cap and a crash helmet, but in fact these are made of papier-mashe and are for decorative purposes only

6. Motorbikes may not travel more than two abreast on any lane.

Motorbikes are like bees - they swarm all over the road. They gather in greater numbers at red traffic lights (analysts belive there is a greater concetration of shoe glue at junctions, and have suggested motorbikes have an attraction to this substance).

7. There is an age limit for driving of motorbikes.

If you can reach the pedals (with assistance from a stick, a small and agile friend, the force, or any other method), you can drive a motorbike up to 100000 cc. You must be over the age of four to drive a more powerful vehicle.

8. Taxi drivers are concerned for the safety of their passengers and so insist all must wear a seat belt.

Taxi drivers will insist that the front seat passenger wear a seat belt. This is because if they are stopped and the passenger is uninhibited by this decorative device the taxi driver will receive a severe fine.

9. Vehicles travel on the left hand side of the road.

Most cars travel on the left most of the time.


Some motorbikes will veer onto the left side of the road to avoid oncoming traffic, to turn right or left, or to stop. Although some can be seen travelling several metres on the left hand side of the road, care should be taken when approaching them as they are likely to be preparing to perform a u-turn.

Motorbike riders will drive, push, or lift their vehicle past, over, or through, any traffic obstacle on either side of the road.


10. Vehicles cannot stop on a clearway, freeway or tollway.

Vehicles can stop to drop off or pick up passengers, or for lunch, on either side of any road at any time. The freeway approaching the airport has a lane specifically allocated for stopping, to prevent congestion at the airport drop-off points at peak times.


11. Traffic must give way to pedestrians at a zebra crossing.

Pedestrians are provided with white stripes across the road to make the dangerous but popular game called "crossing the road" safer. Crossing here is safer as the focus of pedestrians at these points means the likelihood of any particular one of them being knocked over is statistically low, whereas if you are the only one crossing a five lane highway, one of the oncoming vehicles⁷ is much more likely to fail to miss you.


12. Driving in Bangkok is dangerous.

Given the volume of traffic, the low average speed of vehicles means that the majority of accidents are "fender benders", however the following points should be considered ⁸.

A. Trucks (of which there are many) and trains are heavier than cars, motorbikes and people.

B. Accidents involving two motorbikes may result in injuries to anywhere between two and twenty people.

C. Motorbikes may be travelling in any one (or two) of four directions at any time (see point 9).

D. Thai people are very kind, considerate and caring, and so will not maliciously cause injury to any living thing.

E. Although many Thai people are Bhuddists, and are non-aggressive and forgiving of others, it would seem that the Bhudda's understanding of all things extends to the need to negotiate Bangkok traffic, and so some transgression from the ways of the Bhudda when driving (also called "Bangkok spirit") may be expected.