h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

STILL no verdict?

[Corrigible] [looks around] Not really.

*Stands*

Your dishonour, I would like to table a motion that unless the prosecution resumes prosecuting within a reasonable time, this case should be dismissed. I would define a reasonable time as being within the next 48 hours.

*sea's head remains on the podium in front of her*

*she snores daintily*

*some git in a red shirt knocks on the podium to get her attention, and she sits bolt upright*

OFF WITH HIS HEAD!

*she looks around*

er, i mean... uh...

*Looks on in horror as a hooded man in black enters with a big axe, looking for a head to remove. He hesitates as he hears the judge trying to retract her order.*

Uh, as I, um, as I was saying, your dishonour.

*puffs up chest*

I would like to table a motion that unless the prosecution resumes prosecuting within a reasonable time, this case should be dismissed. I would define a reasonable time as being within, um, the next 4 to 8 hours.

hmmmm......*stands* I object this is proposterous, how can they ask the prosecution to hurry up when they were in no hurry to actually get here in the beginning....there, that ought to send them scurrying through the backlog and get us some time...

[Corrigible] I can't remember.

ergh. sorry. RL trouble.

well, Garius, i don't see anything wrong with that motion except that justice takes time. however, i will proceed with my ruling if that will make you and your client happy...

*her dishonor blinks*

*her eyelids get heavy*

*she starts to nod off*

*from the dim recesses at the back of the court*

Maybe they could heavily edit the video and just post me the highlights - should make an interesting 30 seconds.

As the prosecution has failed to prosecute, I presume there can be only one verdict, hmmmmm?

[Corrigible] No, wait! [abruptly falls asleep]

*wakes*

*falls out of chair*

*scrambles back into chair, fixing white powdery wig*

Um, er, yes. The verdict.

*clears throat*

The court rules that Afgncaap5 is guilty and will be sentenced to 1 billion Alterian years inprisonment. However, since this is H2G2 and time moves differently here, Afgncaap5 has served out his sentence in this courtroom and is therefore free to go.

Any questions?

[Yar] [shakes his Magic Eight Squall and reads] "All signs point to whatever."

*places a large and important looking file on the Judges bench*

Right - I want to lodge an appeal. We have 300 witnesses to call and a staggeringly large budget. We're only doing it for the publicity and we don't care how long it takes

(Rips a leg off of the prosecutions' table and proceeds to beat Red Dog over the head with it)

Hey Red Dog - you need some defense over there?

Yes or even better a restraining order Garius.

*to the Judge*

I move that Red Fox be struck ...... not from the record just struck

He did willfully, negligently and with malice aforethought deface court property and bring the entire HooToo system of jurisprudence into disrepute.

I respectfully submit that a sentence of 200 days of community service in the company of Uncle Heavy would not be too lenient.

Ughhhh...

Community service?

Can't it just be a 2 year prison sentence?

*KL stands*

KL-Well, it's nice to see that justice has been done. If you'll excuse me, there's much to do.

*Departs via smoke cloud*