Coleslaw Wrestling
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
Earth Date: February, 2001
Location: Daytona Beach, Florida
Rolling down the main street here in Daytona is a parade of large men with small women, large women with small men, small women with small women and almost every other variation of gender and size. Each couple is jammed onto a small, two-wheeled, rumbling machine that costs too much, pollutes the air, gets hot enough to burn any exposed skin, and can propel it's riders at high velocity into other vehicles and potential road obsticles. This device is called a motorcycle. Because of this, motorcycles are the prefered method of locomotion here at this festival called "Bike Week" that is dedicated to them.
People who ride motorcycles are called bikers. They usually have colorful names such as "Tiny" and have personalities that are just as entertaining. I asked one why he rides motorcycles and he replied "If you have to ask, you won't understand." in which he added "get out of my way, Geek! I need a beer!". I no longer needed to ask - I knew why. Because he can.
After consuming a fair amount of a liquor called "Jack Daniels" and diving for cherries in the cleavage of a drunken female biker being- I stumbled into a bar packed with cheering people. I saw a large sign that said "Coleslaw Wrestling". Upon approaching there was a large man and a small woman in a tub filled with shreaded cabbage, and rancid mayonayse. They were covered. The woman was dressed in a revealing white bikini which blended into the color of the sauce they covered her. The man had on shorts and a chili stained sleaveless undershirt. The, very well built woman was pinning the man and holding his head under the stinky white liquid.
Coleslaw wrestling, I am told, is a tradition at this festival. No-one quite knows how it was started and no-one really cares. It is a good show to accompany drink and friends and half naked women beings. An all around good time.
Some quick notes about other aspects of this festival. I will come back and update this entry when I have more time and when I find a hangover cure in the H2G2 for "Jack Daniels". Other things of note: LEATHER, PORK RINDS, HARLEY, HELLS ANGELS, RULES OF BEHAVIOR IN STRIP CLUBS, FISH THAT EAT VOMIT, AGE OF CONSENT IN FLORIDA.
