Alien Encounters- how to recognise each type

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Alien encounters can be classified into five different types.

Close enounters of the first kind: a UFO is spotted within 150 yards.

Close encounters of the second kind: a UFO leaves evidence of its presence, eg. scorch marks on the ground and surrounding area, or pieces of alien materials or substances.

Close encounters of the third kind: a UFO is seen with visible occupants.

Close encounters of the fourth kind: abduction by an extra-terrestrial being or race.

Close encounters of the fifth kind: direct communication between humans and an extra terrestrial being or race.

If you are an alien and are reading this report, please can I have a lift back to the University of Maximegalon's Divinity and Water Polo department. I came here on a field trip five years ago and haven't been able to get back yet.

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