h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Tres marveilleuse,ma cherie! No,it really is wonderful,and I am honoured to be invited! Merci tres, tres beaucoup, isn't it wonderful to be feline!

Mais naturellement ma cherie. You 'ave found ze sunkissed garden, non?

That'd be sunkissed with a lingering aroma of eau de dog urine and a poop in the cat-mint would it ?

Red

Sid Vicious, the feline worlds answer too Lara Croft strolls into the garden, and surveys the scene
Spots Red lurking in the undergrowth, and give the dog one of her best feline stares.............
"Ill protect you from the dog" she says to the other cats there.

I have some big friends you know.

Sid emits a low yowl and round the corner comes
Tigit, Rab, and Flash, Sids three cohorts in the local feline urban warrior chapter. They all stand in a row facing Red
"Bring um on then we're not afraid"

*Huge shaggy Red Dog rises from the undergrowth*

*Looks over assembled Cats and thinks - it`s not that impressive and if it wasn`t time for me to take a nap I`d fix em'. If there was another 1 or 2 of em' it it might be worth getting up for*.

*Turns in a circle and positions himself for a nights kip*

Sid looks at the others "Let sleeping dogs lie" she mutters
"no use in exposing our secret weapon and waisting it on one mutt.
we'll keep it for another time"
The other three nod in agreement.
They form up into a straight line and march smartly around the corner

Good move

WE WILL RETURN!!!!!!!




If any other cats have trouble in the cathouse garden we will be lurking in the neighbourhood so do'nt hesitate to call us

If it's all the same to you, I'll just sleep in my window. All this feline/canine showdown stuff is too much for me.

By the way, any cats who want to should get themselves put in the h2g2 natural history museum (http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A416819).

already done
^. .^
= ' =

*A very large wolf begins digging a hole next to the Red dog, destroying a patch of catmint.*

* approaches the wolf and growls*

that's OUR catmint, thankyouverymuch... go dig around the doghouse!

Suddenly.
Silently.
On paws of deepest velvet.

A deep, bone-shuddering roar reverberates through the fora as the chthonic beast prowls towards the cathouse, from the direction of the now deserted doghouse.
Yawning with a terrifying display of razor sharp teeth the BABC stretches out langorously on the sun-warmed pavement and proceeds to delicately wash her whiskers.

* glances over her shoulder*

my, tefkat, you scared me!

.... is that Tefkat over there - the Cat we call `poor gardenless Tefkat` now that we`ve trashed the place ?

Red

: all the while leaving your home base unguarded...

I enjoyed leaving my spoor all over the former doghouse
It's now being deconstructed by hordes of journalists and Fortean investigators.

~Thinks .... you can only do so much damage to a few bones and the communal wicker basket. Mind you we might miss the old blanket~

~Decides that he fancies a Fortean Investigator for tea - lopes off~