h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

a couple of things to go over I guess. first off seeing as vampires have incredible almost instant healing ability they could be decaying and just renewing just as fast(such as humans do)

next is the holy water. since it was belived since before the protostent reformation that holy water hurts vampires that makes the holy water of the RCC(roman catholic church) most effective which is a little know fact.

continuing to the stake. even a small spliter to the heart is said to be able to kill a vampire making it very effective.

finnally the easiest method to kill. sunlight. you wern't attempting to cover everything but in light of the current state of USA vampire beliefs I must clarify that vampires "ARE" killed by sunlight. they don't just sparkle, they turn to freaking ashes they are weak to light so that it burns them and what's more working on the same purification principles that water works on it purifies the evil leaving only the ashes.

on a side note vampires don't have they proper emotional capacity to fall in love with a girl. maybe a werewolf under the pack instinct principles, and the fact that they still retain humanity. Vampires on the other hand are only human in shape and inteligence.

And then, of course, there are dhampirs... (Shameless plug: A26353677)

whatever that is my school computer blocks it...

It's a hootoo entry. Your school janitor must be a vampire who doesn't want you to know how to fight him!

actually I homeschool through the pub school system and am actually also in class atm

So you're the school janitor yourself, and don't want to self-destruct?

... I do have the teeth...

See? I knew it!

lemme try drinking your blood just to be sure*begins aproching Mal's neck with his teeth*

btw srry for the crappy nick name

But it's an anagram of "Nix Hennaed Wrist", just goes to show you do prefer the neck...

(*throws handful of poppy seeds )

I don't belive in poppy seeds doing anything special to vampires *fall on his face in a coma*

Oooops...

Anyway, it's not the poppyseeds, it might as well be sawdust.

But Sesame Street got it right; real vampires are obsessive counters.

*begins giggling in his coma from the poppy seed high that knocked him out*(poppy highs are a weakness for Xarin)

Heheheh. Now I know.

btw not all vampires love couting. some don't even make it past basic math. and some just perfer stuff like geometry more(like me if I'm a )

Then you're not a proper vampire - you probably *sparkle*

you have given the gravest of insulst ... wait a sec ... I'm nota a vampire I'm a mage an elementalist at that

Ah, here's a clue on how to remember.

If you have trouble shaving because you can't see yourself in the mirror, you're a vampire.

what if it is fogged up? or your friend's face vroke it?

Then your astonishing lack of creativity in the face of obstacles clinches it