h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*While Saturn Girl is cleaning up her face, Apollo finds his loincloth *

*While sea is busy babbling, Apollo shoots her in the face with a mudball*

*Saturn Girl hands Sea her towel to clean face off with, then tackles Golden Thighs to the Mud*

You could have put her eyes out like that! Didn't you mother teach you any manners! *holds Golden Thighs Pinned in the Mud*

Sea, I think we'll hav'ta start a school of manners for these rude Gods, what do you think?

*With a wave of her hand, the tiger, and cage disapear. Apollo, and Red fish are dressed up in matching school uniforms, sitting in desks up to their calfs in mud, and tied to their chairs with rope that is stronger than any god's strength, and uncutable, the knots are tied strong by Goddesses who borrowed Boy Scout manuals. Saturn Girl and Sea are standing in front of a big chalk board, dressed up like teachers. A school bell rings.*

Class is in session, you bad Gods!

Your's Truely,
The Bombshell Goddess

*nudges RedFish* hehe.. This is gonna be like one of those Brittany Spears videos, you know, with the school girl outfits??

*Over hears Apollo's comment* Ya know? Your uniforms aren't sufficently embarassing, won't teach you any humility. Due to your expressed interest in those uniforms from the (yuck!) Brittney Spears, I think we'll see how they look on you. (Gonna hav'ta do this the hard way, since Golden Thighs won't hand over the picture of when he did it for real )

*Saturn Girl waves her hand, and Apollo, and Red Fish are dressed in short little plaid skirts, tied up button front blouses (sufficently padded) under cardigans, not to forget the knee highs, and penny loafers. Saturn Girl bites back a laugh*

So, where were we? I believe we shall start with basic manners. How about you lead us in that, Sea?

Your's Truely,
The Bombshell Goddess

*A group of very hot, handsome, firemen walk by -- fresh from Hades. Sea and Saturn Girl get their hopes up...but the firemen reject them without a second thought as soon as they see Apollo and RedFish.*

Looks like you did your job too well, SG!! It's pretty sad when the guys prefer us over you

*Apollo proceeds to dematerialize the soon-to-get-frisky firemen. Sea and SaturnGirl don't believe they can't compete with two cross-dressed guys*

you're right, i DON'T believe it!

let's see... manners.

don't chew with your mouth open.
don't talk with your mouth full.
don't throw mud in goddesses' faces.
don't cross-dress in polite company.

....anything i missed, saturn girl?

*Saturn Girl follows the firemen, and manage to get them to talk to her for a little bit. Returning with a triumpfant smile, she's uncovered the trouble, finding out why the men didn't fall for her goddess charms.*

Haha, funny, so you know, those firemen aren't interested in women. They've agreed to go shopping with my at the mall next weekend, Sea, you can come too if you want, and we're going to try to pick up some cute guys. They told me they'd love it if you two would come, an especially cute blue eyed one asked for your number, Apollo. He's a catch, hold on to him

*gives Apollo a sisterly kiss on the cheek* Just behave yourself on your date, he's planning on taking you to the movies next wednesday night, and I wouldn't say no if I were you. And don't do anything I wouldn't do.

Your's Truely,
The Bombshell Goddess

ps. 4.2 Sea? I sleep through those!

*has an idea*
*activates voice-activated cell phone*

Yes... can you get me Poseidon on the line? Yeah, kind of mean chap.. lives in the ocean....
thanks...
*waits*

Yes, Poseidon old buddy!! it's me, Apollo!! I was wondering if you could do me a favor.....
*whispers*
Thanks!! Adios...



*the mud pit starts shaking like a tub of jello... and the two california girls realize that this is the BIG ONE!!! Their entire state disappears into the depths of the Pacific Ocean*
hehe...oops....

*Saturn Girl swims to the surface, glad that being a goddess makes it so she doesn't really need air to live, even though it does make it that much more comfortable to have it. In a flash, she zips out of the water, and lands in front of Apollo.*

California needed a nice cleaning, I'll have it pushed back above water soon, and see about getting the importaint stuff fixed, such as the golden gate bridge, and such... I know there'll be more than enough people in the world to fill it up again. Too bad you couldn't do it while Bush had been there. Would have solved the whole country's problem... Oh well, we all know you're not perfect. *pinches Apollo's cheek to irritate him*

*walks off for a minute, pulls out Cell phone, and chats away for a few minutes. Soon a big rumbling can be heard, and California rises above the water again, all fresh and clean from it's unplanned bath.*

Your's Truely,
The Bombshell Goddess

*fills mouth with oranges that fell off the trees as California resurfaces.
Chews with mouth full.
Talks with mouth full.
Spits mouth full on two goddesses in the vicinity*

*Grabs Apollo by the ear, drags him out of his desk, and stands him in front of the class. Grabs a ruler for a near by desk, and yanks Apollo's hand out to slap it with the ruler.*

Okay, I will give you one chance to appologise for that rude behaviour, or I will have to punish you.

*the mud, seeming to have a mind of it's own, holds Apollo where he stands, tightly gripping his feet, so he can't try to escape or anything*

Uncle Heavy, supreme God-in-training of nothing, guardian of the abyssal space and lord of entropy, know as cuddles to his friends, enters the forum. He wants to beat somebody up in the name of religion.

*holds out Apollo to use as a Human shield* Here Uncle Cuddles, you can beat him up... You'll even get a win on the score board if you do!

*grabs the ruler (created by Saturn Girl) with the free hand (freed by Saturn Girl) and smacks sea on the butt with it*


*activates cell phone again*
Zeus old pal!! A little help here maybe??
....
Yes, that'll do just fine

*lightning bolt zaps SaturnGirl*

uhh... you missed.

*lightning bolt zaps Heavy*

Ummm... missed again... sorry about that Unc Hey, Supreme Deity my...
*lightning bolt zaps Apollo free*

*Saturn Girl is irritated there's now a burnt hole in her favorite purple pin stripe suit! She tackles Golden Thighs to the mud, and takes away his offending cell phone, smashing it to little itty bitty bits.*

Okay, that's it! No more Ms. Nice Goddess! *rips off the now distroyed purple pin stripe suit, exposing killer blue swim suit with a top like a scuba outfit, and high cut bottoms. Saturn Girl pins Apollo into the mud, and holds him face down, annoying him to heck, since she can't smother him to death*

Well, seeing as you're wearing a scuba outfit....

*rolls forward through the mud, going completely upside down, and dragging SG under with him*

*starts to tickle-torture the goddess under the mud *

~struggles with rope~

(just to show he's still here)

*pops up, tosses broken shard of cell phone to RedFish*

Quick! cut yourself out before Sea gets back!!

*UH stumbles around with a vacant expression and spikey hair.his clothes are charred and smoking. i short, it looks like he managed to get his nads caught ina mains socket. slowly he collapses into a heap*

*UH stumbles around with a vacant expression and spikey hair.his clothes are charred and smoking. i short, it looks like he managed to get his nads caught ina mains socket. slowly he collapses into a heap*