h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

~Hades sits near the large screen, studying numerous papers that are scattered about him. If someone were to look at some of these papers, they would probably be surprised to see printouts of many h2g2 conversation forums~

~The entire War Room has been cleaned meticulously. Eden has prepared a sumptuous meal of things normal human beings usually enjoy. There is blood for Hades and Eden to drink, and wine for their guest.~

Eden: I hope this will meet with her approval, dear brother.

Hades: I do as well. We shall have to wait and see.

*evillene enters and surveys her surroundings. she is mildly surprised to see that there is normal food on the table, as she had expected meals of fresh blood. she tries to hide her astonishment*

[evillene] well, I'm here.

*she stands there for an uncomfortable moment, and feels obligated to say more*

[evillene] um, the... food smells... good.

~Eden looks pleased.~

Eden: Does it? I had so hoped it would. I never cook such things, you know. We had to have the kitchen made specially-

Hades: Please, m'lady, sit.

~Hades pulls out a chair for evillene to sit in and casts a quieting glance at his sister.~

*evillene sits*

[evillene] er, thank you.

*she takes a sip of the wine*

[evillene] this is very good wine. is it chandon?

Eden: Yes, it is. I was told that it was a very impressive wine. I wouldn't know, you see.

~Eden smiles. She and Hades sit.~

Hades: Now, m'lady, I would like to talk about your supernova bomb.

Eden: Please, Hades, wait until after the lady has dinner.

Hades: No, we shall discuss it now. Will you serve us while we talk?

~Eden sets her jaw and begins to serve the food.~

Hades: I thynk we should discuss our plan for unyversal domynation.

*evillene sets down her glass, all vestiges of her previous niceness gone*

[evillene] I thought I was very clear before when I said that "we" had no plan. "I" have a plan. If you want to try to conquer the universe, be my guest, but don't try to take credit for what I have done.

~Hades smiles slightly.~

Hades: You need a place to keep your bomb. Your penthouse apartment just won't do, there are too many ways for the superheroes to get in. You need a place that only has one entrance, like our laire. We can monitor the heroes' actions from here. You can even bryng STUMPED down to protect the place.

[evillene] I don't know how the Krylma Leader would feel about us using his minions for our own plan to take over.

*she has another sip of the wine, and eats some of the food that eden has served for her*

[evillene] besides, how do I know you're not going to double cross me? How do I know that you won't kill me when I come down that passage and take my bomb?

~Hades stands up suddenly, knocking his chair over backwards. His eyes burn fiercely.~

Hades: M'lady, I would never do anythyng that would cause you harm. You are truly evil, and that I admire in a woman. Please do not be alarmed by what I am about to tell you. I have been studying you for some time now. You are a fascynatyng creature; the precise type of woman I want to rule at my side. And so I am askyng you-

~Hades comes around the table to where evillene is sittyng and takes her hand.~

Hades: Rule with me. At my side. As my wife.

~Eden exits the laire, unnoticed.~

*evillene gapes at him*

[evillene] you have GOT to be kidding me.

~Hades pulls out a ring from his pocket and puts it on her finger. It is a beautiful platinum band with a black stone set into it.~

Hades: I assure you, m'lady, that I am deadly serious. This ryng has been in my family for generations. Rumor has it that it carries a very powerful dark magick with it. Will you take it? Will you be my wife?

*evillene stares at her finger (in considerable awe)*

[evillene] I have to think about this.

*evillene pulls her hand away from hades's and stands up. She paces across the room, muttering to herself and pulling at her hair. then she stops and looks at hades*

[evillene] can I get back to you on this?

Hades: But of course, m'lady. Come, sit down and fynish your dynner.

~He sets his own chair upright, the pulls out evillene's again.~

[evillene] actually, i don't think i could eat another bite.

*she drains the glass of wine and looks at the bottle*

[evillene] are you going to drink that? because i'm going to need...

Hades: Please, take it.

~Hades hands her the bottle and escorts her out of the laire, then sits down at the table and drains his glass of blood. Then he looks around.~

Hades: Where the devil is Eden?

*evillene comes into the laire and approaches hades*

[evillene] i've thought about your offer, and... i - i accept.

~Hades stands up with frightening speed and takes evillene's hand gently.~

Hades: You shall not regret it, my beauty. We shall be married immediately. I shall take care of all the arrangements. You should go back to your apartment and rest. I shall fetch you when the time comes.

~Hades's eyes burn as he escorts his fiancé to the door.~

Hades: Goodnight, my beloved.

~Hades begins to make plans for the wedding.~

~Havyng completed the weddyng, Hades and Evillene begyn to plot the destruction of the unyverse*