h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Does lateness annoy you in others? Are you fastidiously early in order not to give offence in case you might be late?

-> No. But I do make a point of pretending to have arrived at the meeting point much earlier than the other. And that's very hard given the usual circumstances, which is trying to keep a bored composure while sweating and fighting for breath for having arrived just one minute earlier.

Would you say you had a 'relaxed' attitude to time?

-> Yes, much more so than time would have a relaxed attitude towards me. At times (sic) I have found it to be flexible and stretchable, elastic even - but rather punctual and uncompromising at precisely those moments where I couldn't afford it to be.

What's the latest you've ever been for something? Were you forgiven?

-> I'd rather not give details, but people have been calling me 'Godot' ever since.

Is being punctual a British thing? For instance, do our Mediterranean cousins enjoy a more relaxed attitude to time in general? Are we Brits a bit uptight?

-> Mediterraneans (sweeping statement) keep clocks and watches as fashion attributes. Consequently, they never run (clocks and Mediterraneans).

And what is meant by 'fashionably late' anyway?

-> The art of turning up late, knowing perfectly well that people are waiting for you, and also resting assured they you're important enough to wait for in the first place. The real art is finding a careful balance between "He should be here any minute" and "screw him, I'm going home" - the thin line between the moment others have been waiting long enough to best appreciate your arrival and the first realization that you're actually not worth the wait. It works better for pop stars, or generally if anyone was so unfortunate to pay to see you.

Is it a myth that dictators always make the country's trains run on time?

-> Yes. Unless Switzerland is a dictatorship.