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While I'm not racing around collecting interesting stuff to put into The Guide, I tend to do a fair bit of gardening for friends and family who don't have the luxury of time like your average dole scum (ie me). I have noticed that, far from being the relaxing passtime the likes of Alan Titchmarsh would have you believe it is - gardening is f****n' hard work (excuse my french)! Aching back, stiff arms, even the tips of your fingers get sore. Am I doing it wrong? Is there some secret technique that I don't know about that turns weeding a vegetable patch into a mystical, zen-like experience? I feel more like Charlie Chaplin than Charlie Dimmock (not that way, though). Although I don't need to wear a bra (being a bloke an' all), perhaps I should actively NOT wear one. Or go without pants. I don't know. I'm off to rub Deep Heat all over my body. Nothing to do with aching, just a little thing I have...

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Infinite Improbability Drive

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