Stinging it in London

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UNDER CONSTRUCTION - WORKING AREA!

Aaah, London! A city so big it can draw the breath away from people (although some blame Londons infamous air pollution for this)! It also seems to draw a lot of people to it, and for a lot of different reasons... Whatever you may say about this place, London has got it all: music, clubs, parties, people from all over the world, art, culture, everything that is fun and costs money. This is a fun place to be! For many, this is actually the Place to be. Unfortunately however, you will quickly realise that this is also a very expensive place to be... Money seems to fly out of your pocket quicker than it got in, and you haven't got the clue where it all went... Maybe it was that beer? Or the cinemas? Not to mention that club last saturday night...

After staying here for a while though, you may find ways of making it cheaper than it looks at first. Cause it defenetely is a place to check out! Here you'll find almost everything! There are some facts people have used before that may be of interest for those who have a plan of staying there for some time and without having the loads of dough you might require in normal circumstances...

HOUSING

First of all, and among the most expensive sides of London, comes housing. Just looking at certain adverts makes the hair stand on edge in your neck, and may give you horrible nightmares... Housing can be among the biggest expenses you will meet while staying in London, and to make it affordable for long term visitors, you will (unless you're not incredibly rich) have to stay away from the hotels and the more fancy hostels (like the YHA's).
With some careful look around, you may find places that are affordable for you, even if you are on a tighter budget than the average tourist. Here are some of the most usual places travellers end up in here in London.

-Independent hostels: This is among the best ways of staying cheap and central in London. You may find places that will give you a weeks stay all the way down to about £50, and as central as Bayswater region, just off Hyde Park. You'll have to share room with lots of others, but it is among the cheapest accomodation found in central London, and a lot of people use it as a long term housing option. This hostels tend to let you in with little or no deposit, other than a small one for the key to your room.

-Backpackers houses: Similar to the independent hostels that take on long term stays, this may be even cheaper, but tend to be further out of the city's centre. Many will be found in Zone 2 or 3, or even further out. They may be found all the way down to about £40 a week, and little or no deposit needed.

-Hired flats: If you are travelling together in a group or teaming up with people, this is also a valid option, that may be as cheap as the backpacker flats, although as the flats they tend to be out of the centre of London. So if you have to go downtown every day, what you save compared to the independent hostels are soon eaten up by a rather expensive transport system. Believe me, walking in London is not possible if you're living in Zone 2 or further out.

-The street/Homeless Shelters: Although few travellers use this as an option, this is the cheapest, and is also a very central option. Only a few among the most desperate or the most hardcore "stingies" use this option. It is free, which is not what you can say about most people in this city though, and if you're really on a thight budget it would be worth thinking about it.

BUDGET-CRACKERS

London is expensive! But some things are more epxensive than others... Unfortunately, this are among the things that a lot of people travelling here come to seek out. Like clubbing, cinemas, music, restaurants cost a lot of money. Come to think about it, most things fun cost a lot of money in London. But to really live in this place, you should at least count in some of these. See later section on expenses for this things.

Many things might be found cheaper at certain times. Many museums will let you in for free for the last one or two hours on Sundays, while they usually require you to pay an entrance fee. Clubbing in the week might be a lot cheaper than what you find of outrageous prices in the weekends, when burning off $50 might prove no problem at all. Cinemas too, work with different ticket prices, although not necessarily based on when the films are screened.

Frankly, staying in this city for a long time will almost always require you to do some kind of work (especially if you intend to have some fun while staying there, and not just sit being horribly bored in somewhere dark and depressing), which brings us on to the next chapter of the entry, how to do London's fun things cheaper!

Good places to check for cinemas, clubs, theatres, live music etc. are in magazines like TNT, SX and maybe the very best, Timeout, who all work with weekly listings of what's on in London! Here, you'll also find prices, what kind of music the clubs are (supposed to be) playing, and things like that. Listings include music, clubs, theatres, cinemas and a whole bunch more. TNT and SX are free magazines, while Timeout actually costs money, but is also the best of these magazines!

Clubs: Among the worst combination of money-spenders are clubs and alcohol, which is my guess why they go together hand in hand... Cause if you're going out clubbing, you'll usually also end up buying some really expensive drinks! Among the heartland for clubbing in London, you might hear a lot of people mentioning Soho and areas around Covent Garden, but clubs are found all over the city. The cheapest time for clubbing is in the week, when you might find entrance fees a lot cheaper than in the weekends, and many clubs might run with long and good happy hours or different discounts, for students (and people with student cards, whether they're students or no...). Another way of doing clubbing cheaper, will be by drinking lots at home with friends before going out, so you will not need to buy as much while being inside clubs. There are also huge price differences from club to club, and some looking around might be worth it, to find some really cheap and nice places even in the weekend that will not be listed anywhere, but will still be up and running! Don't be fooled by thinking that the lists you find in magazines are all the London club scene has to offer, cause it's a lot bigger than that!

Cinemas: Like clubs, cinemas in London operate with different prices. The cheapest will be around £2.00 for a ticket, but the movies screened at this cinemas are less than warm and new. The most expensive might be as much as £8.00-10.00 for one movie in a really nice cinema halls with almost perfect sound and picture. Check out the listings of cinemas in the magazines aldready mentioned.

Muesums: Some museums, like the British Museum, and many others will always let you in free. While others will require you to pay to get in. Student discounts are almost always a good idea to check for, since very many places will run with them. Also, many museums will let you in for free certain days, or at certain times, most usually the last one or two hours of opening hours on Sundays.

Theatres and musicals: Almost all the shows will sell you cheaper tickets on the day of performance, where you might save as much as half of the original ticket price. Also, there are various half price ticket booths around town, especially around Leicester Square, where you might buy the same tickets for the days shows.

Live music: ...is live music. If you wanna see it and hear it, you have to pay for it! Some shows will still be very cheap or even free, but when it comes to the more famous names, the tickets will always be expensive! London is big enough to make sure that every kind of music might be found there, and every day you will have countless concerts going on all around the city. The music scene too, will be bigger than found in the magazines listings, and other good places to look for venues and gigs, is in record stores, best would be specialised record stores where you might find out about the kind of music you'd like to hear!

JOBS

One good thing about London is that jobs are plenty! As long as you're prepared to take what you get (which may be quite a few bizarre things), finding a job in London is not a big problem! There are many different places to look for jobs, among the best are the free magazines you'll find in boxes on the street, like the TNT magazine, SX and SA news. Different other newspapers will also have good job listings, and another very good way of looking for work is to go around asking at all the places you see advertise for vacancies in windows and also include a fair number of the ones that don't apply for people at the time. This may include shops, pubs, resaurants and hotels.
The magazines like SX and TNT give huge listings of all kinds of work, from unskilled, underpaid work to skilled and very well paid vacancies for the most fortunate of travellers and people. Other papers have special sections for job advertisings, and the Job Centres will also be able to help you along, as long as you have your paperwork and visas already sorted out.
There are, however, one or two flaws in the jobs prospect of London, that applies more to some than others, namely: the permission to work.

-The EEC: Citizens from all the countries of the EEC, which includes the EU, and some other countries like Norway, do not need any sort of permission to work. The citizens of these countries can come and start applying for work on an equal basis as normal UK citizens.

-Working visa: To work legally, you'll need some kind of work permission. And believe me, if you're not from the right part of the planet, getting one will seem incredibly, even impossibly, difficult to obtain. Working visas are mostly issued to people for citizens from certain countries that the UK have agreements and close relationships with, like Australia, New Zealand and South Africa. If you have British ancestry, you'll also have a very good chance of obtaining such a visa. If you cannot prove any of these, you'll find getting one may be an incredible hassle.

-Long time students visa: Without the working visa, you may also be able to get a job legally with a long term students visa. The best way to obtain one is to register at one of courses longer than at least half a year. If you can obtain a students visa valid for more than half a year, this kind of entry will also give you the permission to work, as long as the course give you a certain amount of lessons each week or more. When you have enrolled in one of Londons myriad of colleges, you would most probably have to leave the country before entering it once again, to change the status of your visa to a students visa. But always remember: get a students visa before you leave the country, if not you'll have a very hard time getting in again, and you're still standing there without a permission to work. This students visas will usually only give you permission to work part time, around 20 hours a week, but it's better than nothing.

-Working illegaly: OK, the illegal job market in London is big, it's huge and to find a job cash in hand, is not at all difficult, but you'll almost always find yourself with a very lousy payroll. As well, you are not insured of any social security as you will be if you do work legally, and you may also easily find yourself exploited to the bones by the firm you're working for. They are not trying to be nice to you by this act, but to keep their own costs down. That's the reason why they'd rather pay you sticks and stones than hard cash if they ever had the chance...

-Bank account: Opening a bank account may seem easy, but the banks here in Britain are not scoring very well on the customers service lists... They will almost without any exception ask you to provide some utility bill that tie you to an adress somewhere in London, like a gas bill, ground phone bill or similar things, or a bank statement from another english bank... The best thing for you to do is to try the building societies, which are more lenient, and many of those will for instance accept a bank statement sent to you from your bank in your original country to your "London adress" (whoever actually lives there are not so important it seems, as long as you get it). This is usually the easiest way of obtaining a bank account. The other way is to ask your employer for help, by for instance opening an account in the same bank as your firm is banking with.

-National Insurance Number: Everyone who works legally in London will need a National Insurance Number. To do this, you would need to go to a Benefits Agency to apply for one. They will probably send you somewhere one a rather longish goose chase, before you at last, after going through quite a few machinations of the bureaucratic system, give you a temporary number (or rather: your job will give you a temporary number), before giving you an appointment to get a permanent number sometime rather far into the future (normal waiting time may be somewhere around 2-3 months...)

GETTING AROUND

London is big! London is huge! And walking is in many instances out of the question, if you do note want to book up a night or two on the way from A to B. The London public transport network is divided into 6 zones, where tubes, buses, nightbuses and also certain trains are running. Zone 1 is the centre, and then it works itself outwards in circles around Zone 1 until you reach Zone 6, which might just as well be in a different city or even country, so far is it from the centre. Visitors and tourists usually only travel in Zone 1, and sometimes in Zone 2, which includes most attractions and things most visitors think is "worth seeing". The more zones you need to pass through, the more the ticket will cost you.

-Public transport: London has a huge network of tube (underground) and buses! So big, that normal mortals will never fathom the whole meaning and where especially the buses are really heading for! Buses are cheaper, slower and you see a lot more of the city than by the tube, which might be a hot, horrible claustrophobic nightmare. Rules on the tube, and also on the buses, include not looking or speaking to anyone (including and especially yourself), in case other passengers might think you're on drugs, drunk or just plain crazy! Look distracted, read the commercials carefully, or better read a book or newspaper.
If you intend of doing a lot of bus and tube travelling, best get a week pass. There is also a students discount on some of these cards, so inquire about such a discount if you're a student, or pretend to be one...
There is also local trains that run in the city, and might take you further afield as well. They run on the same principles as the tubes and buses, and most of the passes bought for the public transport system will be valid also on this rail network. It seems also that there is a lot easier to have a ride for free on the trains than on the buses and tube...

-Taxis: Taxis are expensive, and even in the middle of the night, there will almost always be a bus running somewhere, that you might jump on instead, even if it doesn't necessarily take you home... Really, you should consider taking a bus anywhere instead of taking a taxi, it will still be cheaper to get home with another bus from wherever you end up than taking a taxi!

CHEAP/FREE "FUN" THINGS TO DO WHILE IN LONDON, THAT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A "REAL" LONDONER

-Take a boat ride on the Serpentine preferably disguised as pirates, Vikings, the Knights who say "Ni!" or some other similar things.
-Jump on to one of the buses while it's in motion (the author of the article will not be liable for any physical damage, which might occur while participating in this typical London behaviour).
-Feed the pigeons on Trafalgar square and get s*at on (this is now a criminal offence, except the part having to do being s**t on, so if you do feed the pigeons and see a policeman, run the other way. The author will once more not be liable for any damage, fines or sentences distributed to participants in this typical London behaviour).
-See at least 5 of the following sights (if you only pass them by in a bus, that would be even better): Trafalgar Square, Nelson's Column, Westminster, Houses of Parliament, Hyde Park, Leicester Square, Piccadilly Circus, Tower of London, Big Ben, London Bridge, Tower Bridge or Buckingham Palace.
-Use words that's "typical" english, like "tuttut", "pipip" or "toodeloo" (all meaning good bye), "apples and pears" (stairs), "whistle and flute" (suit), "trouble and strife" (wife), "put the kettle on" (let's make some tea!), "cheers mate" (thanks, friend) very frequently and in any occasion imaginable!



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