Improving your Life
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
Please please PLEASE <grovel>, DO NOT take this article seriously. If you have any dire complaints about this then tell ME the problem first. I want to know what YOU find offensive BEFORE you complain, then I personally know what the problem is and I can modify it accordingly.
Thank You for your co-operation ;-).
Life, for most people, is one of those things that most of us find very difficult to avoid. This has been reflected on my life as a citizen of the unfashionable planet of Earth. If you're wondering why we haven't discovered aliens yet, or why they haven't discoveded us, it's just because they're not damn intrested <ufo>.
In my life I have discovered alot of things, but in particular one thing most of
all.
Most people are two faced monkeymen.
But how do we avoid these people? There are a few suggestions I have come up
with in my life, and so here are a few ways to cope.
1. Disassociate yourself permanently (and terminally) from those persons that you dislike (that do ya? <steam> )
A drastic action, which you should only use in extreme cases of some madman wanting to take over the world or if you live in
Columbia. Remember that you shouldn't get too carried away with this as it you could end up in jail. To avoid jail just pay someone to do it for you. In the USA it is more cost effective for you to spend this money on lots of guns to do the job; after all, it is legal. And remember, you should only do this if the fate of the world is at stake (such as when the nice men in white coats come a-knocking on your door, offering swastika shaped donuts). Remember that if the world is at stake, the govenment will usually call it war and take matters into their own hands <grr>.
2. Grin and bear it <yuk>
Also a drastic action, but can be attempted anywhere in the world with some
success. If this doesn't work then:
3. Sue the idiots <cheers>
Simply tell the Judge how you've been victimised and bullied, and you could end
up better off in the long run. You may still have problems after this, but you
should at least have some money and Jerry Springer to back you up in the end.
Remember that you will require some sort of evidence, so make sure you get
beaten up in front of a security camera, tape recorder in your pocket (NOT
Minidisc), etc.
4. If none of the above works, then just take up Karate, Judo, Boxing etc, and beat the hell out of them <devil>.
If this journal entry hasn't helped you, then nothing will.
P.S. Only attempt step 1 if you are dumb, mad, really upset, or if you've just seen Scream which resulted in the above <weird>.
Thank You for your co-operation ;-).
Life, for most people, is one of those things that most of us find very difficult to avoid. This has been reflected on my life as a citizen of the unfashionable planet of Earth. If you're wondering why we haven't discovered aliens yet, or why they haven't discoveded us, it's just because they're not damn intrested <ufo>.
In my life I have discovered alot of things, but in particular one thing most of
all.
Most people are two faced monkeymen.
But how do we avoid these people? There are a few suggestions I have come up
with in my life, and so here are a few ways to cope.
1. Disassociate yourself permanently (and terminally) from those persons that you dislike (that do ya? <steam> )
A drastic action, which you should only use in extreme cases of some madman wanting to take over the world or if you live in
Columbia. Remember that you shouldn't get too carried away with this as it you could end up in jail. To avoid jail just pay someone to do it for you. In the USA it is more cost effective for you to spend this money on lots of guns to do the job; after all, it is legal. And remember, you should only do this if the fate of the world is at stake (such as when the nice men in white coats come a-knocking on your door, offering swastika shaped donuts). Remember that if the world is at stake, the govenment will usually call it war and take matters into their own hands <grr>.
2. Grin and bear it <yuk>
Also a drastic action, but can be attempted anywhere in the world with some
success. If this doesn't work then:
3. Sue the idiots <cheers>
Simply tell the Judge how you've been victimised and bullied, and you could end
up better off in the long run. You may still have problems after this, but you
should at least have some money and Jerry Springer to back you up in the end.
Remember that you will require some sort of evidence, so make sure you get
beaten up in front of a security camera, tape recorder in your pocket (NOT
Minidisc), etc.
4. If none of the above works, then just take up Karate, Judo, Boxing etc, and beat the hell out of them <devil>.
If this journal entry hasn't helped you, then nothing will.
P.S. Only attempt step 1 if you are dumb, mad, really upset, or if you've just seen Scream which resulted in the above <weird>.
